De Incredibilibus
Palaiphatos
Palaiphatos. On Unbelievable Stories. Hawes, Greta, et al., translators. Washington, DC: Center for Hellenic Studies, 2021. (digital publication)
I have written down the following about unbelievable stories.
While some - those who are more gullible - believe everything that is said because they are untrained in philosophy and science, others – those more cynical and worldly by nature – disbelieve entirely that any of these things actually happened.
I think, however, that everything that is said actually happened. (Names do not come about on their own unless a story about them already exists. The event happened first, and then arose the story about it.) All those forms and shapes that are said to have once existed – but which now do not exist – could never have actually existed. For if something came into being at some time or other, it must also exist in our time and will exist likewise in the future. I for one always endorse what the writers Melissos and Lamiscos of Samos said at the beginning of their work: what exists now came into being previously, and will exist forever.[*](We translate the punctuation suggested by Diels (ἐν ἀρχῇ λέγοντας ἔστιν ἃ ἐγένετο, καὶ νῦν ἔσται) rather than that of Festa (ἐν ἀρχῇ λέγοντας ἔστιν ἃ ἐγένετο, καὶ νῦν ἔσται).) Poets and storytellers perverted some of what took place and made it more unbelievable and astonishing to astound their audiences.
But I know that such things are not possible, at least not in the way they are told. I have come to understand that if something did not actually happen, it would not be spoken about. I went to many places and I asked the elders what they had heard about each of them; I write down here what I learnt from them. I have personally seen the places, what each is like, and I have written in the following account not the sort of thing that is generally told, but what I have personally gone and researched.
What they say about the Centaurs is that they were beasts that had the shape of a horse, except that their head was human. Some might well believe that such a beast once existed – but it is impossible. Human and equine natures are entirely incompatible: they don’t live on the same sort of food, and the food of a horse would not be able to pass through the mouth and throat of a human. If a creature of this shape did once exist, it would still exist now.
The truth is as follows. When Ixion was king of Thessaly, a herd of bulls on Mt Pelion became feral and blocked access to the other mountains. These bulls would come down to the inhabited areas, where they would destroy the trees and crops and kill livestock. And so Ixion announced that he would give a great amount of money to anyone who killed the bulls. Some young men from the foothills, from a town called Cloud, contrived to train their horses to carry riders. (Before this they did not know how to ride horses, only how to use them hitched to chariots.) So they mounted their horses, rode to where the bulls were and attacked the herd with their javelins. Whenever they were charged by the bulls, the young men would escape since their horses were quicker; and when the bulls came to a stop, they would turn and hurl their javelins. Using these tactics they killed them, thus earning the name ‘Centaurs’ since they pierced [kent-] the bulls [tauroi]. (The name certainly did not come from their having the shape of bulls, for Centaurs have the shape not of a bull, but of a horse and a human: the name must have come from the exploit.)
After the Centaurs got Ixion’s money, the pride they had in their achievement and wealth swelled into arrogance: they committed many brutal acts, even against Ixion himself. Ixion resided in the city that is now called Larissa (its residents were then called ‘Lapiths’). The Lapiths invited the Centaurs to a feast. The Centaurs got drunk and carried off the Lapiths’ wives: they bundled the women onto their horses and galloped homeward. From there they made war on the Lapiths: they would come down onto the plain at night and hide, then burn and pillage by day before returning to the mountains. When they rode away in this manner, those watching from a distance saw them only from behind: they looked like horses but without a horse’s head; the rest was like a human, but without the legs. People who saw the strange sight would say, The Centaurs from Cloud are attacking us! And from such accounts, and from their appearance, the unbelievable myth was fabricated: that a ‘horse-man’ had been created from a cloud on the mountain.
The myth that’s told about Pasiphae is that she was consumed by lust for a grazing bull, and that Daidalos made a wooden cow and shut her within it so that the bull would mount and mate with the woman. He impregnated her and she gave birth to a child that had the body of a man and the head of a bull. I for one say that this never happened. To start with, it is impossible for an animal of one kind to mate with one of another unless the womb and genitals are compatible. For it is not possible for a dog and an ape to mate with one another and produce offspring, nor a wolf and a hyena, nor an antelope and a deer (for the fact is that they are of different species). More to the point, I do not think that a bull had sex with a wooden cow: for all four-footed animals smell the genitals of an animal before mating and mount it afterwards. Nor would a woman be able to withstand being mounted by a bull, nor could she have carried a horned embryo.
The truth is as follows. They say that Minos had pain in his genitals and was taken care of by Procris, the daughter of Pandion, in exchange for the dog and the javelin …[*](There is a lacuna in the text here, at the end of which appears the word ‘Cephalos’, the name of Procris’ husband. ) At this time, a very attractive young man served Minos. His name was Tauros [‘Bull’]. Pasiphae was seized by love for him, persuaded him to sleep with her, and gave birth to his child. Minos, when he calculated that the child was conceived while he was suffering from genital pain, realised that the child was not his own because they had not had sex during that time. After examining the child closely, he worked out that it was Tauros’. Despite this, Minos decided against killing him since he looked like his own children’s brother.
He sent him away into the mountains so that when he grew up he might help the herdsmen there. However, when he reached manhood he no longer obeyed the cowherds. When Minos learnt of this, he ordered him back to the city so that he might keep him under control. If he would come willingly, he could travel unrestrained; if not, he would be brought in chains. When he heard this, the young man fled further into the mountains and survived by snatching livestock. Minos sent a larger force to apprehend him and the young man dug a deep tunnel and shut himself up in it. They regularly threw sheep and goats down to him and he survived by eating them. Whenever Minos wanted to punish someone he would kill him by sending him to the man caged up in this dwelling. When Minos captured Theseus, one of his enemies, he brought him also to the place to be killed. But Ariadne had already placed a sword in the enclosure, and there Theseus killed ‘Minotauros’...[*](There is a lacuna in the text here.) This is the event as it actually happened; the poets altered the story into a myth.
An old tale says that Cadmos, after slaying a serpent, plucked out its teeth [odontes] and sowed [speirō] them in his own land, and that men with weapons sprung up from them. If this were true, noone would sow anything other than serpents’ teeth; and if they would not grow elsewhere then they would at least sow them in the land in which they had sprung up previously.
Here is the truth. Cadmos, a Phoenician by birth, arrived at Thebes to compete against his brother, Phoinix, for the kingdom. The king of Thebes at the time was Draco [‘Serpent’], a son of Ares, who, among all the things that a king usually has, owned elephant tusks [odontes]. Cadmos killed him and became king himself. Draco's friends began to wage war against him, and his sons also joined forces against Cadmos. When Draco’s allies had been defeated in battle, they seized Cadmos’ possessions, including the elephant tusks, which were stored in a sanctuary. They began to run away, fleeing to their homelands. They scattered [speirō] in different directions, with some going to Attica, and others going to the Peloponnese, Phocis or Locris. From these places they continued to wage war against the Thebans. They were difficult opponents since they spoke the same language and were knowledgeable about the terrain. After they had stolen the tusks and fled, the townspeople would say, Cadmos has harmed us in killing Draco, for, because of that man's tusks, many noble men have risen up [spartoi] and prevailed over us. The myth was fabricated from this real event.