Banquet

Crit. Well, let that pass; but whose nose is finer, yours or mine?Soc. Mine, I consider, granting that Providence made us noses to smell with. For your nostrils look down toward the ground, but mine are wide open and turned outward so that I can catch scents from all about.But how do you make a snub nose handsomer than a straight one?Soc. For the reason that it does not put a barricade between the eyes but allows them unobstructed vision of whatever they desire to see; whereas a high nose, as if in despite, has walled the eyes off one from the other.

As for the mouth, said Critobulus, I concede that point. For if it is created for the purpose of biting off food, you could bite off a far bigger mouthful than I could. And don’t you think that your kiss is also the more tender because you have thick lips? Soc. According to your argument, it would seem that I have a mouth more ugly even than an ass’s. But do you not reckon it a proof of my superior beauty that the River Nymphs, goddesses as they are, bear as their offspring the Seileni, who resemble me more closely than they do you?

I cannot argue any longer with you, answered Critobulus; let them distribute the ballots, so that I may know without suspense what fine or punishment I must undergo. Only, he continued, let the balloting be secret, for I am afraid that the wealth you and Antisthenes possess will overmaster me.

So the maiden and the lad turned in the ballots secretly. While this was going on, Socrates saw to it that the light should be brought in front of Critobulus, so that the judges might not be misled, and stipulated that the prize given by the judges to crown the victor should be kisses and not ribbons.

When the ballots were turned out of the urn and proved to be a unanimous verdict in favour of Critobulus, Faugh! exclaimed Socrates; your money, Critobulus, does not appear to resemble Callias’s. For his makes people more honest, while yours is about the most potent to corrupt men, whether members of a jury or judges of a contest.