De Fuga Et Inventione

He is taught by the oracle that, "I will be with thee." And, indeed, inquiries into individual matters have a certain elegant and philosophical kind of meditation in them; for how can they avoid it? But the inquiry into the nature of God, the most excellent of all things, who is incomparable, and the cause of all things, at once delights those who betake themselves to its consideration, and it is not imperfect inasmuch as he, out of his own merciful nature, comes forward to meet it, displaying himself by his virgin graces, and willingly to all those who are desirous to see him. Not, indeed, such as he is, for that [*](Exodus xvi. 4. ) [*](Exodus xvi. 15. )

And this also is written among the hortatory precepts, for, says Moses, "Ye shall turn unto the Lord your God, and shall find him, when ye seek him with all your heart, and with all your soul." [*](Deuteronomy iv. 29. )

Having now spoken at sufficient length on this point also, let us proceed in regular order to consider the third head of our subject, in which the seeking existed, but the finding did not follow it. At all events Laban, who examined the entire spiritual house of the practiser of virtue, "did not," as Moses says, "find the images," [*](Genesis xxxi. 33. ) for it was full of real things, and not of dreams and vain fantasies.

Nor did the inhabitants of Sodom, blind in their minds, who were insanely eager to defile the holy and unpolluted reasonings, "find the road which led to this" [*](Genesis xix. 11. ) object; but, as the sacred scriptures tell us, they were wearied with their exertions to find the door, although they ran in a circle all round the house, and left no stone unturned for the accomplishment of their unnatural and impious desires.

And before now some persons, wishing to be kings instead of doorkeepers, and to put an end to the most beautiful thing in life, namely order, having not only failed in obtaining the success which they hoped to meet with through injustice, but have even been compelled to part with that which they had in their hands; for the law tells us that the companions of Korah, who coveted the priesthood, lost both what they wished for and what they had:

for as children and men do not learn the same things, but there are institutions adapted to each age, so also there are by nature some souls which are always childish, even though they are in bodies which have grown old; and on the other hand, there are some which have arrived at complete perfection in bodies which are still in the prime and vigour of early youth. But those men will deservedly incur the imputation of folly who desire objects too great for their own nature, since everything which is beyond one’s power will vanish away through the intensity of its own vehemence. [*](Exodus iii. 6. ) [*](Genesis xxxi. 33. ) [*](Deuteronomy iv. 29. ) [*](Genesis xix. 11. )

And so Pharaoh also, when "seeking to kill Moses," [*](Exodus ii. 15. ) the prophetic race, will never find him, although he has heard that a heavy accusation is brought against him, as if he has attempted to destroy all the supreme authority of the body by two attacks,

the first of which he made upon the Egyptian disposition, which was fortifying pleasure as a citadel against the soul; for "having smote him," with an accidental instrument that came to hand, "he buried him in the sand," [*](Exodus ii. 12. ) thinking that the two doctrines, of pleasure being the first and greatest good, and of atoms being the origin of the universe, both proceed from the same source. The second attack he made upon him who was cutting into small pieces the nature of the good, and assigning one portion to the soul, another to the body, and another to external circumstances; for he wishes the good to be entire, being assigned to the best thing in us, the intellect alone, as its inheritance, and not being adapted to anything inanimate.

Nor does he, who is sent forth to search for that virtue which is invincible and embittered against the ridiculous pursuits of men, by name Tamar, find her. And this failure of his is strictly in accordance with nature; for we read in the scripture, "And Judah sent a kid in the hands of his shepherd, the Adullamite, to receive back his pledge from the woman, and he found her not: and he asked the men of the place, Where is the harlot who was in Aenan by the wayside? and they said, There is no harlot in this place. And he returned back to Judah, and said unto him, I have not found her, and the men of the place say that there is no harlot there. And Judah said, Let her keep the things, only let me not be made a laughing-stock, I because I have sent the kid, and you because you have not found her." [*](Genesis xxxviii. 20. ) Oh, the admirable trial! oh, the temptation becoming sacred things!

Who gave the pledge? Why the mind, forsooth, which was eager to purchase the most excellent possession, piety towards God, by three pledges or symbols, namely a ring, and an armlet, and a staff, signifying confidence and sure faith; the connection and union of reason with life, and of life with reason; and upright and unchanging instruction on which it is profitable to rely.

Therefore he examines the question as to whether he had properly given this pledge. What, then, is [*](Exodus ii. 15. ) [*](Exodus ii. 12. ) [*](Genesis xxxviii. 20. )

And when will this be? when she willingly exchanges what is of importance for what is indifferent, preferring spurious to genuine good. Now the genuine good things are faith, the connection and union of words with deeds, and the rule of right instruction, as on the other hand the evils are, faithlessness, a want of such connection between words and deeds, and ignorance. And spurious goods are those which depend upon appetite devoid of reason;

for "when he sought her he did not find her;" for what is good is hard to be found, or, one may even say, is utterly impossible to be found in a confused life. And if one inquires whether the soul, which is a harlot, is in every place of virtue, one will be distinctly told that it is not, and that it has not been previously; for a common, unchaste, and wanton, and utterly shameless woman, selling the flower of her beauty at a low price, and making her external parts both bright with purifications and washings, but leaving her inward parts unclean and vile, and being like pictures painted with colours about the face because of the absence of all natural beauty; she who pursues that promiscuous evil called the vice of having many husbands, as if it were a good, coveting polygamy, and laying herself open for infinite variety, and being mocked and insulted at the same time by ten thousand bodies and things, "is not there."

He, then, who sent the messenger to inquire, hearing this, having removed envy to a distance from himself, and being gentle in his nature, rejoices in no moderate degree, and says, "Perhaps, then, according to my prayer, she is truly a virtuous mind, a citizen wife, excelling in modesty, and chastity, and all other virtues, cleaving to one husband alone, being content with the administration of one household, and rejoicing in the authority of one husband; and if she is such an one, let her keep what I have given her—the instruction and

But let us not be laughed at as appearing to have given gifts which were not merited, while we think that we gave what is most suitable to the soul; for I, indeed, did what was proper for a man to do who wished to make experiment of and to test her disposition, throwing out a bait and sending a messenger; but he has showed me that her nature is not easily caught.

And it is not clear to me why it is not easily caught; for I have seen ten thousand persons of the extremely wicked class doing the same things as those who are extremely good, but not with the same purpose, since the one class has truth and the other only hypocrisy, and it is very hard to distinguish the one from the other, for very often reality is overpowered by appearance.

Also the person who loves virtue seeks a goat by reason of his sins, but does not find one; for, already, as the sacred scripture tells us, "it has been burnt." [*](Leviticus x. 16. ) Now we must consider what is intimated under this figurative expression—how never to do any thing wrong is the peculiar attribute of God; and to repent is the part of a wise man. But this is very difficult and very hard to attain to.

Accordingly the scripture says that "Moses sought and sought again" a reason for repentance for his sins in mortal life; for he was very anxious to find a soul which was stripped of sin, and coming forward naked of all offence without shame. But nevertheless he did not find one, the flame, I mean by this the very quickly moving irrational desire, rushing inwards and devouring the whole soul.

For what is smaller in numbers is usually overpowered by what is more numerous, and what is slower by what is more speedy, and what is to come hereafter by what is present. Now what is contracted in quantity, and slow, and future, is repentance; what is numerous, and swift, and continuous in human life is, iniquity. Very naturally, therefore, when any one falls into error, he says that he is unable to eat of what is offered by reason of his sins, so that his conscience will not permit him to be nourished by repentance; on which account it is said in the scripture, "Moses heard, and it pleased him." [*](Leviticus xvi. 20. )

For the things which relate to the creature are very [*](Leviticus x. 16. ) [*](Leviticus xvi. 20. )