De Incredibilibus

Palaiphatos

Palaiphatos. On Unbelievable Stories. Hawes, Greta, et al., translators. Washington, DC: Center for Hellenic Studies, 2021. (digital publication)

I have written down the following about unbelievable stories.

While some - those who are more gullible - believe everything that is said because they are untrained in philosophy and science, others – those more cynical and worldly by nature – disbelieve entirely that any of these things actually happened.

I think, however, that everything that is said actually happened. (Names do not come about on their own unless a story about them already exists. The event happened first, and then arose the story about it.) All those forms and shapes that are said to have once existed – but which now do not exist – could never have actually existed. For if something came into being at some time or other, it must also exist in our time and will exist likewise in the future. I for one always endorse what the writers Melissos and Lamiscos of Samos said at the beginning of their work: what exists now came into being previously, and will exist forever.[*](We translate the punctuation suggested by Diels (ἐν ἀρχῇ λέγοντας ἔστιν ἃ ἐγένετο, καὶ νῦν ἔσται) rather than that of Festa (ἐν ἀρχῇ λέγοντας ἔστιν ἃ ἐγένετο, καὶ νῦν ἔσται).) Poets and storytellers perverted some of what took place and made it more unbelievable and astonishing to astound their audiences.

But I know that such things are not possible, at least not in the way they are told. I have come to understand that if something did not actually happen, it would not be spoken about. I went to many places and I asked the elders what they had heard about each of them; I write down here what I learnt from them. I have personally seen the places, what each is like, and I have written in the following account not the sort of thing that is generally told, but what I have personally gone and researched.

What they say about the Centaurs is that they were beasts that had the shape of a horse, except that their head was human. Some might well believe that such a beast once existed – but it is impossible. Human and equine natures are entirely incompatible: they don’t live on the same sort of food, and the food of a horse would not be able to pass through the mouth and throat of a human. If a creature of this shape did once exist, it would still exist now.

The truth is as follows. When Ixion was king of Thessaly, a herd of bulls on Mt Pelion became feral and blocked access to the other mountains. These bulls would come down to the inhabited areas, where they would destroy the trees and crops and kill livestock. And so Ixion announced that he would give a great amount of money to anyone who killed the bulls. Some young men from the foothills, from a town called Cloud, contrived to train their horses to carry riders. (Before this they did not know how to ride horses, only how to use them hitched to chariots.) So they mounted their horses, rode to where the bulls were and attacked the herd with their javelins. Whenever they were charged by the bulls, the young men would escape since their horses were quicker; and when the bulls came to a stop, they would turn and hurl their javelins. Using these tactics they killed them, thus earning the name ‘Centaurs’ since they pierced [kent-] the bulls [tauroi]. (The name certainly did not come from their having the shape of bulls, for Centaurs have the shape not of a bull, but of a horse and a human: the name must have come from the exploit.)

After the Centaurs got Ixion’s money, the pride they had in their achievement and wealth swelled into arrogance: they committed many brutal acts, even against Ixion himself. Ixion resided in the city that is now called Larissa (its residents were then called ‘Lapiths’). The Lapiths invited the Centaurs to a feast. The Centaurs got drunk and carried off the Lapiths’ wives: they bundled the women onto their horses and galloped homeward. From there they made war on the Lapiths: they would come down onto the plain at night and hide, then burn and pillage by day before returning to the mountains. When they rode away in this manner, those watching from a distance saw them only from behind: they looked like horses but without a horse’s head; the rest was like a human, but without the legs. People who saw the strange sight would say, The Centaurs from Cloud are attacking us! And from such accounts, and from their appearance, the unbelievable myth was fabricated: that a ‘horse-man’ had been created from a cloud on the mountain.

The myth that’s told about Pasiphae is that she was consumed by lust for a grazing bull, and that Daidalos made a wooden cow and shut her within it so that the bull would mount and mate with the woman. He impregnated her and she gave birth to a child that had the body of a man and the head of a bull. I for one say that this never happened. To start with, it is impossible for an animal of one kind to mate with one of another unless the womb and genitals are compatible. For it is not possible for a dog and an ape to mate with one another and produce offspring, nor a wolf and a hyena, nor an antelope and a deer (for the fact is that they are of different species). More to the point, I do not think that a bull had sex with a wooden cow: for all four-footed animals smell the genitals of an animal before mating and mount it afterwards. Nor would a woman be able to withstand being mounted by a bull, nor could she have carried a horned embryo.

The truth is as follows. They say that Minos had pain in his genitals and was taken care of by Procris, the daughter of Pandion, in exchange for the dog and the javelin …[*](There is a lacuna in the text here, at the end of which appears the word ‘Cephalos’, the name of Procris’ husband. ) At this time, a very attractive young man served Minos. His name was Tauros [‘Bull’]. Pasiphae was seized by love for him, persuaded him to sleep with her, and gave birth to his child. Minos, when he calculated that the child was conceived while he was suffering from genital pain, realised that the child was not his own because they had not had sex during that time. After examining the child closely, he worked out that it was Tauros’. Despite this, Minos decided against killing him since he looked like his own children’s brother.

He sent him away into the mountains so that when he grew up he might help the herdsmen there. However, when he reached manhood he no longer obeyed the cowherds. When Minos learnt of this, he ordered him back to the city so that he might keep him under control. If he would come willingly, he could travel unrestrained; if not, he would be brought in chains. When he heard this, the young man fled further into the mountains and survived by snatching livestock. Minos sent a larger force to apprehend him and the young man dug a deep tunnel and shut himself up in it. They regularly threw sheep and goats down to him and he survived by eating them. Whenever Minos wanted to punish someone he would kill him by sending him to the man caged up in this dwelling. When Minos captured Theseus, one of his enemies, he brought him also to the place to be killed. But Ariadne had already placed a sword in the enclosure, and there Theseus killed ‘Minotauros’...[*](There is a lacuna in the text here.) This is the event as it actually happened; the poets altered the story into a myth.

An old tale says that Cadmos, after slaying a serpent, plucked out its teeth [odontes] and sowed [speirō] them in his own land, and that men with weapons sprung up from them. If this were true, noone would sow anything other than serpents’ teeth; and if they would not grow elsewhere then they would at least sow them in the land in which they had sprung up previously.

Here is the truth. Cadmos, a Phoenician by birth, arrived at Thebes to compete against his brother, Phoinix, for the kingdom. The king of Thebes at the time was Draco [‘Serpent’], a son of Ares, who, among all the things that a king usually has, owned elephant tusks [odontes]. Cadmos killed him and became king himself. Draco's friends began to wage war against him, and his sons also joined forces against Cadmos. When Draco’s allies had been defeated in battle, they seized Cadmos’ possessions, including the elephant tusks, which were stored in a sanctuary. They began to run away, fleeing to their homelands. They scattered [speirō] in different directions, with some going to Attica, and others going to the Peloponnese, Phocis or Locris. From these places they continued to wage war against the Thebans. They were difficult opponents since they spoke the same language and were knowledgeable about the terrain. After they had stolen the tusks and fled, the townspeople would say, Cadmos has harmed us in killing Draco, for, because of that man's tusks, many noble men have risen up [spartoi] and prevailed over us. The myth was fabricated from this real event.

What’s said about the Cadmeian Sphinx was that it was a beast born with the body of a dog, the head and face of a girl, the wings of a bird, and the voice of a human. She settled down on Mt Phicios and sang her riddle to each passer-by in turn. She killed whoever could not solve it; but when Oedipus solved the riddle, she threw herself down to her death. The story is unbelievable and impossible. It is impossible for a creature with her appearance to exist; and as for the idea that those who were unable to solve her riddles would be devoured by her: that’s childish. And that the Cadmeians would not rain down arrows on the beast, but just stand round and watch fellow townspeople be consumed as if they were enemies: nonsense!

The truth is as follows. Cadmos came to Thebes with an Amazonian wife, whose name was Sphinx. After killing Draco he seized Draco’s possessions and his kingdom, and along with them took his sister Harmonia as his wife. Sphinx, when she realised that he was marrying another woman, persuaded many of the townspeople to leave with her. In addition, she took most of his property, including a swift-footed dog, which Cadmos had brought with him. With these things, she went off to the mountain called Phicios, and from there began to wage war against Cadmos. When the time was right she laid ambushes. She carried off those whom she captured, and did away with them. The Cadmeians call an ambush an ainigma, a word more typically used in Greek to mean ‘riddle’. So while chattering away to each other the townspeople would say, Sphinx – that wild creature – is setting a trap for us with her ainigma. She has settled down on the mountain, and is picking us off. No one is able to figure out the ainigma. We can't fight her out in the open: she doesn't run but instead takes wing – both the dog and the woman together.

Cadmos announced that whoever killed Sphinx would be given a lot of money. Along came Oedipus, a Corinthian man experienced in military matters, with a swift-footed horse. He formed the Cadmeians into a fighting force and went out during the night. After lying in wait, he figured out the ainigma and killed Sphinx. The rest was made into myth from these actual events.

What they say about the Teumesian Fox is that it snatched up and devoured the Cadmeians. This is naive! For no other land-based animal is able to snatch up and carry off a human, and the fox is small and weak.

Something of the following sort took place. There was once a Theban man called Fox. He was handsome and noble – and cunning. For he surpassed everyone else in craftiness. The king, afraid that Fox was scheming against him, banished him from the city. So Fox raised a great army, hired mercenaries and captured the hilltop called Teumesos. Using this as his base, he raided the Thebans and carried off captives. And so people would say, Fox preys on us and then retreats! But a man called Cephalos, an Athenian by birth, came to the Thebans as an ally with a great army. He killed Fox and drove off his army from Teumesos. It was from these actual events that those myths arose.

They say Actaion was consumed by his own dogs. This is false: a dog loves its master, and especially the one who feeds it, and hunting dogs show affection to everyone. Some say that Artemis turned him into a deer and then his dogs tore the deer apart. I think that Artemis is capable of doing whatever she wants; and yet it can’t be true that a man changed into a deer, or a deer into a man. The poets fabricated these myths so that those who listened to them would not violate the gods’ domain.

The truth is as follows. Actaion was an Arcadian by birth and loved to hunt. Because he was always training his many dogs and hunting in the mountains, he neglected his own affairs. At that time, all men laboured for themselves and did not have slaves; the wealthiest man was the one who was most industrious. Actaion's livelihood was destroyed because he neglected his domestic affairs to go hunting instead. When he had nothing left, people would say, Wretched Actaion - he has been consumed by his own dogs!. It’s just like how even today, when someone wastes their fortune in brothels, we say, He has been consumed by prostitutes. Something like this was what really happened in the case of Actaion.

What they say about the horses of Diomedes is that they were man-eaters: how laughable! Horses much prefer grass and barley to human flesh!

The truth is as follows. In the distant past men laboured for themselves and only by working the land did they get food and other such necessities. At some stage someone figured out how to keep horses and he took such pleasure in his horses that he ended up ruining himself by squandering everything he had to feed them. And from these actual events the myth spread.

They say that Niobe was a living woman who turned into stone on the grave of her children. Whoever believes that a human can turn into a stone or a stone turn into a human is naive.

The truth is as follows. After her children died, someone made a stone statue of Niobe and stood it on the grave. And so passers-by would say, A stone Niobe stands on the grave. We saw her ourselves! It’s just like how some say nowadays, I was sitting beside the bronze Heracles or I was beside the marble Hermes. This was like that too, but Niobe herself was definitely not turned into stone!

It’s said that Lynceus could even see things underground. This is false.

The truth is as follows. Lynceus was the first to mine copper and silver etc. He took lamps down into the mine. He left them down there and brought up sacks of bronze and iron. And so people would say, Lynceus even sees things underground - he goes down there and brings up silver.

They say that Caineus was invulnerable. Whoever imagines that a person cannot be wounded by iron is foolish.

The truth is as follows. Caineus was a Thessalian by birth, skilled in military affairs and experienced in fighting. And yet, despite being in many battles, he was never wounded, not even when he died fighting with the Lapiths against the Centaurs. When the Centaurs captured him they merely buried him, and in this way he met his end. The Lapiths dug up his corpse and found no wounds on his body. And so they would say, Caineus was invulnerable his whole life - he even died without a wound.

The same story is also told about Cycnos of Colonai: that he too was invulnerable. He was also a warrior and experienced in battle. He died at Troy after being hit by a stone thrown by Achilles, and yet even then there were no wounds on his body. When they saw his corpse, people would say that he was invulnerable just as now they describe unbeaten athletes combatants as invulnerable. As evidence against these stories and in support of my case, consider Telemonian Aias, for he, too, was said to be invulnerable, and yet he died of a self-inflicted sword wound.

They say that Minos imprisoned Daidalos and his son Icaros for some reason and that Daidalos made wings for both of them, put them on, and flew away with Icaros. To think that a man could fly, even wearing wings: impossible!

What actually happened[*](We translate Vitelli’s conjecture γενόμενον (what happened) rather than the transmitted λεγόμενον, (what was said).) is as follows. Daidalos was being held in a prison. He let himself out through a window and – pulling his son down with him – embarked on a small boat and got away. When Minos realised this, he sent ships to pursue them. When they realised that they were being pursued, there was a strong, favourable wind and it seemed as if they were flying. Soon, as they were sailing with a fair south wind from Crete, they capsized. Daidalos reached the shore safely, but Icaros perished. (And from him this sea is called the Icarian.) His body was tossed ashore by the waves and his father buried him.

What’s said about Atalanta and Meilanion is that he changed into a lion, and she a lioness.

But the truth is the following. Atalanta and Meilanion were hunting. Meilanion persuaded the girl to have sex with him. They entered a cave to have sex. However, deep in the cave was the den of a lion and a lioness; hearing the sound, they emerged, pounced on Atalanta and her husband, and did away with them. Afterwards, when the lion and the lioness came out, Meilanion’s hunting companions saw them and deduced that the couple had been transformed into those animals. So, rushing back to the city, they spread the story that Atalanta and her husband had been transformed into lions.

There is also a similar story about Callisto: that she turned into a bear while out hunting.

But I would say that she, too, came upon a thicket where there happened to be a bear, and it devoured the huntress entirely. The other hunters, who had seen her enter but not emerge, said that the girl had become a bear.

They say that Europa, the daughter of Phoinix, travelled across the sea from Tyre to Crete, riding a bull. But I don’t think that a bull – or even a horse – could swim across such an expanse of open water. And nor would a girl climb up onto the back of a wild bull: if Zeus had wanted Europa to go to Crete, he would have found a better way to get her there.

The truth is as follows. A man from Knossos called Tauros [‘Bull’] was waging war around Tyre. He ended up carrying off many girls – and among them was the king’s daughter, Europa. And so people would say, Tauros has taken Europa, the daughter of the king, and gone off with her! And from these events, the myth was fabricated.

They say that the best of Achaians sacked Troy in a hollow wooden horse. But this account is excessively mythic!

This is the truth. They built a wooden horse according to the dimensions of the city-gates so that it could not be pulled into the city since it was too tall. The Greek commanders then set up camp in a hollow near the city, which is called ‘the Argive ambush’ even now. Sinon deserted from the Argives and revealed a prophecy to the Trojans: if they did not bring the horse into the city, the Achaians would return; but if they did, the Achaians would leave. The Trojans listened to him, demolished their walls, and brought the horse inside. As they were feasting in celebration, the Greeks set upon them, coming through the wall which had been demolished. And this is how Troy was captured.

It is said that Aiolos was a man who ruled over the winds and that he gave them to Odysseus in a bag. I think it is clear to everyone that such a thing could not happen.

It is likely that Aiolos was an astronomer and that he explained to Odysseus about the seasons and under which constellations which winds blew. They also say that his city was encircled by a wall of bronze, which is false: he had hoplites guarding his city.

It is said that there existed certain women called the Hesperides who possessed a tree with golden apples on it guarded by a serpent, and that Heracles mounted an expedition to get these apples.

But the truth is as follows. Hesperos was a Milesian man who dwelt in Caria and had two daughters, who were called Hesperides [‘daughters of Hesperos’]. He had excellent, profitable sheep, of the breed which one still finds in Miletos. For this reason, they were named ‘golden’, for gold is a most fine thing and these sheep were likewise most fine. People referred to them as mela - an old-fashioned word for sheep that also happened to mean ‘apples’. Heracles saw them grazing by the sea, herded them onto his ship, and took them home. He also killed their shepherd, who was called Draco [‘Serpent’]. Hesperos was no longer alive, but his daughters were still living. Accordingly, people would say, We saw the golden mela which Heracles took from the Hesperides, after he killed their guardian, Draco. From this, the myth arose.

They say about Cottos and Briareos that they each had one hundred hands, even though they were men. How is this not naive?

The truth is as follows. The name of the city in which they lived was Hundred-hands; this was in Chaonia and is now called Orestias. I base my claim on the fact that they fought alongside the Olympians in the battle against the Titans and these lands border on Olympos. And so people would say, Cottos and Briareos, the Hundred-handers, helped the Olympians and drove the Titans from Olympos.