Dialogi mortuorum

Charon Your fare, you rascal.

Menippus Bawl away, Charon, if it gives you any pleasure.

Charon I brought you across: give me my fare.

Menippus I can’t, if I haven’t got it.

Charon And who is so poor that he has not got a penny?

Menippus I for one; I don’t know who else.

Charon Pay: or, by Pluto, I'll strangle you.

Menippus And Pll crack your skull with this stick.

Charon So you are to come all that way for nothing?

Menippus Let Hermes pay for me: he put me on board.

Hermes I dare say! A fine time I shall have of it, if I am to pay for the shades.

Charon I’m not going to let you off.

Menippus You can haul up your ship and wait, for all I care. If I have not got the money, I can’t pay you, can I?

Charon You knew you ought to bring it?

Menippus I knew that: but I hadn’t got it. What would you have? I ought not to have died, I suppose?

Charon So you are to have the distinction of being the only passenger that ever crossed gratis?

Menippus Oh, come now: gratis! I took an oar, and I baled; and I didn’t cry, which is more than can be said for any of the others.

Charon That’s neither here nor there. I must have my penny; it’s only right.