De mercede

Lucian of Samosata

Lucian, Vol. 3. Harmon, A. M., editor. London: William Heinemann, Ltd.; Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1921.

Well, the motives which attract them to these household positions, which cause them to put themselves eagerly into the power of the rich to treat as they will, are these or as near as may be to these, unless one should think it worth while to mention also those men who are impelled by the mere name of associating with men of noble family and high social position. There are people who think that even this confers distinction and exalts them above the masses, just as in my own case, were it even the Great King, merely to associate with him and to be seen associating with him without getting any real benefit out of the association would not be acceptable to me.

So much for their object. Let us now consider between ourselves what they put up with before they are received and gain their end, and what they endure when they are fairly in the thing, and to cap the climax, what the outcome of the drama proves to be. For surely it cannot be said that even if all this is unworthy, at least it is easy to get and will not call for much trouble; that you need only wish, and then the whole thing is accomplished for you without any effort. No, it calls for much running hither and thither, and for continual camping on doorsteps ; you must get up early and wait about ; meanwhile you are elbowed, you are kept locked out, you are sometimes thought impudent and annoying, you are

v.3.p.431
subordinate to a door-man with a vile Syrian accent and to a Libyan master of ceremonies, and you tip them for remembering your name. Moreover you must provide yourself with clothing beyond the means at your command, to correspond with the dignity of the man whom you are cultivating, and choose whatever colours he likes in order that you may not be out of harmony or in discord when he looks at you, and you must follow him zealously, or rather, lead the way, shoved on by the servants and filling out a guard of honour, as it were.

But your man does not even look at you for many days on end. And if ever you have a rare stroke of luck—