Piscator

Lucian of Samosata

The Works of Lucian of Samosata, complete, with exceptions specified in thepreface, Vol. 1. Fowler, H. W. and Fowlere, F.G., translators. Oxford at the Clarendon Press, 1905.

Socrates Stone the miscreant; stone him with many stones; clod him with clods; pot him with pots; let the culprit feel your sticks; leave him no way out. At him, Plato! come, Chrysippus, let him have it! Shoulder to shoulder, close the ranks;

  • Let wallet succour wallet, staff aid staff!
    • We are all parties in this war; not one of us but he has assailed. You, Diogenes, now if ever is the time for that stick of yours; stand firm, all of you. Let him reap the fruits of his revilings. What, Epicurus, Aristippus, tired already? ’tis too soon; ye sages,
  • Be men; relume that erstwhile furious wrath!

    • Aristotle one more sprint. There! the brute is caught; we have you, villain. You shall soon know a little more about the

    v.1.p.207
    characters you have assailed. Now, what shall we do with him? it must be rather an elaborate execution, to meet all our claims upon him; he owes a separate death to every one of us. First Phil. Impale him, say I. Second Phil. Yes, but scourge him first. Third Phil. Tear out his eyes. Fourth Phil, Ah, but first out with the offending tongue.

    Socrates What say you, Empedocles?

    Empedocles Oh, fling him into a crater; that will teach him to vilify his betters..

    Platonists ’Twere best for him, Orpheus or Pentheus like, to -

  • Find death, dashed all to pieces on the rock;
    • so each might have taken a piece home with him.

    Lucian Forbear; spare me; I appeal to the God of suppliants.

    Socrates Too late; no loophole is left you now. And you know your Homer:

  • 'Twixt men and lions, covenants are null.

    • Lucian Why, it is in Homer’s name that I ask my boon. You will perhaps pay reverence to his lines, and listen to a selection from him:

  • Slay not; no churl is he; a ransom take
  • Of bronze and gold, whereof wise hearts are fain.

    • Platonists Why, two can play at that game; exempli gratia,

  • Reviler, babble not of gold, nor nurse
  • Hope of escape from these our hands that hold thee.

    • Lucian Ah me, ah me! my best hopes dashed, with Homer! Let me fly to Euripides; it may be he will protect me: Leave him his life; the suppliant’s life is sacred.

    Platonists Does this happen to be Euripides too—

  • Evil men evil treated is no evil?
    • v.1.p.208

    Lucian And will you slay me now for nought but words?

    Platonists Most certainly; our author has something on that point too:

  • Unbridled lips
  • And folly’s slips
  • Invite Fate’s whips.

    • Lucian Oh, very well; as you are all set on murdering me, and escape is impossible, do at least tell me who you are, and what harm I have done you; it must be something irreparable, to judge by your relentless murderous pursuit.

    Platonists What harm you have done us, vile fellow? your own conscience and your fine dialogues will tell you; you have called Philosophy herself bad names, and as for us, you have subjected us to the indignity of a public auction, and put up wise men— ay, and free men, which is more—for sale. We have reason to be angry; we have got a short leave of absence from Hades, and come up against you—Chrysippus here, Epicurus and myself, Aristotle yonder, the taciturn Pythagoras, Diogenes and all of us that your dialogues have made so free with.