Vitarum auctio

Zeus (to his assistants) Set the benches in order, and get the place ready for visitors; and you, range the lives in order and usher them in, but tidy them up first so that they may make a good appearance and attract a crowd. You, Hermes, make a proclamation, and, by the grace of heaven, summon the buyers to the sale-room forthwith. We are going to announce for sale philosophic lives of every description and varied principles, and if any one is not able to lay down his money on the nail he can pay up next year if he gives security.

Hermes A crowd is gathering, so we must not waste time nor keep them waiting.

Zeus Then let us proceed to sell.

Hermes Which of them shall we put up first?

Zeus This one with the long hair, the Ionian, for he seems to be a reverend person.

Hermes Let the Pythagorean there show his points to the company.

Zeus Announce him, pray.

Hermes I offer the noblest life, the most reverend. Who will buy? Who wishes to be more

Buyer He is not bad to look at, but just what does he know?

Hermes Arithmetic, astronomy, magic, geometry, music, jugglery. A finished fortune-teller is before you.

Buyer May one question him?

Hermes With all my heart.

Buyer What country are you of?

Pythagoras Samos.

Buyer Where were you educated?

Pythagoras In Egypt, among the sages there.

Buyer Well, then, if I buy you what will you teach me?

Pythagoras I will not teach you anything. I will remind you.

Buyer How will you remind me?

Pythagoras By first making your soul clean, and washing off the filth that is on it.

Buyer Now, suppose me already purified, what is your method of reminding?

Pythagoras The first step is a long, speechless silence; you must not say a word for five whole years.

Buyer You ought to teach mutes, my friend. But I am a talker with no desire to become a graven image. All the same, what comes after the silence and the five-year term?

Pythagoras Practise in music and geometry.

Buyer That is a nice statement ! If I am to become a philosopher I must first learn to play the harp!

Pythagoras In addition to these, counting.

Buyer I can count now.

Pythagoras How do you do it?

Buyer One, two, three, four.

Pythagoras Look, now; what you deem four is really ten, and a perfect triangle, and what we swear by.

Buyer Hear me swear a mighty oath: by Four, I never heard diviner or more holy words.

Pythagoras And after that, stranger, you will have knowledge concerning earth and air and water and fire-the mass of each, and what form it has, and what motion by consequence.

Buyer Then has fire form, or air, or water?

Pythagoras Very clear forms, for the formless and shapeless is immovable; and besides these things you will know that God is number and mind and harmony.

Buyer This is startling!

Pythagoras Beyond what I have already said, you will know that you yourself, who seem to be a unit, are one person in appearance and another in reality.

Buyer What do you say? Am I somebody else and not this person now talking to you?

Pythagoras Now you are he, but formerly you appeared in another body and with another name; and in time you will change again into another.

Buyer You mean this: that I shall be immortal, changing into one form after another? But that is enough on this subject.

What are your habits of life?

Pythagoras I touch no sort of animal food, but anything else except beans.

Buyer What is the reason of that? Perhaps you dislike beans?

Pythagoras Not at all, but they are sacred and of a marvellous nature. But, what is more important, it is the custom of the Athenians to vote for officers with beans.

Buyer All your remarks are lofty and priestlike. But take off your clothes and let me see you stripped. Good heavens, his thigh is golden! He seems to be a god, not a mortal. I will buy him, by all means. How much do you ask for him?

Hermes Two hundred dollars.

Buyer I will take him at the price.

Zeus Make a note of the buyer's name and country.

Hermes He is an Italian, I should think, from Croton or Tarentum, or somewhere in Magna Graecia. But he is not the sole purchaser; almost three hundred clubbed together with him.

Zeus Let them take him off. Put up another.