Timon

HERMES Wht are you laughing at, Charon, and why have you left your ferry and come up here to our part of the world? You are not at all in the habit of concerning yourself with affairs up above.

CHARON I wanted to see what it is like in life, Hermes, what men do in it, and what they lose that makes them all grieve when they come down to us; for none of them has ever made the crossing without a tear. So, like the young Thessalian (Protesilaus), I obtained shore leave from Hades for a single day and came up to the sunlight, and I fancy that I have been lucky to meet you, for you will surely go about with me and guide me, and will show me everything, knowing all about it as you do.

HERMES I haven't time, ferryman; I am on my way to carry out a little commission among men for Zeus in Heaven.[*](Contrasted in thought with Zeus of the nether world; i.e. Pluto.) He is quick-tempered, and I fear that if I am slow about it he will let me be yours altogether, committing me to the nether gloom, or else that he will treat me as he did Hephaestus the other day, taking me.by the foot and throwing me from the

CHARON Then will you let me wander aimlessly above ground, you who are a comrade and a shipmate and a fellow guide of souls? Come now, son of Maea, you would do well to remember this at least, that I have never ordered you to bale or take an oar. On the contrary, you stretch yourself out on deck and snore, in spite of those broad shoulders of yours, or if you find a talkative dead man, you chat with him throughout the trip, while I, old as I am, row both oars of my boat alone. Come, in your father’s name, Hermie dear, don’t leave me stranded; be my guide to everything in life, so that I may feel I have seen something when I go back. If you leave me, I shall be no better off than the blind, for they stumble and reel about in the darkness, while I, to the contrary, am dazed in the light. Be good to me, Cyllenian, and I shall remember your kindness forever.

HERMES This business will stand me in a thrashing ; at any rate I see even now that my pay for playing guide will certainly include plenty of fisticufls. But I must comply all the same, for what can a man do when a friend insists ?

For you to see everything minutely in detail is impossible, ferryman, since it would busy us for many years. In that event Zeus would be obliged to have me advertized by the crier, like a runaway slave, and you yourself would be prevented from doing the

CHARON You must determine what is best, Hermes; I know nothing at all about things above ground, being a stranger.

HERMES In a word, Charon, we want a high place of some sort, from which you can look down upon everything. If it were possible for you to go up into Heaven, we should be in no difficulty, for you could see everything plainly from on high. But as it is not permissible for one who consorts always with shades to set foot in the palace of Zeus, we must look about for a high mountain.

CHARON You know, Hermes, what I am in the habit of telling you and the others when we are on the water. When we are close-hauled and the wind in a sudden squall strikes the sail and the waves rise high, then you all in your ignorance tell me to take the sail in or slack the sheet off a bit or run before the wind ; but I urge you to keep quiet, saying that I myself know what is best. Just so in this case; you must do whatever you think is right, for you are skipper now, and I will sit in silence, as a passenger should, and obey your orders in everything.

HERMES Quite right; I will see what is to be done, and

CHARON Give your orders ; I will help as much as I can,

HERMES The poet Homer says that the sons of Alocus, who, like ourselves, were two in number, took a faney once upon a time while they were still mere children to pluck Ossa from its base and set it on Olympus, and then to set Pelion on top of it, thinking that this would give them a suitable ladder with which to scale Heaven.[*](Od. 11, 305.) Well, these two lads were sacrilegious and they were punished for it; but we two are not making this plan to harm the gods, so why shouldn’t we build in the same way, rolling the mountains one atop of another, in order to secure a better view from a higher place?

CHARON Shall we be able to lift Pelion or Ossa and heave it up, Hermes, when there are only two of us ?

HERMES Why not, Charon? Surely you don’t consider us weaker than that pair of infants? Moreover, we are gods.

CHARON No, but the thing seems to me to involve an incredible deal of work,

CHARON Yes, I have heard that; but whether it is true or not, Hermes, you and the poets only know!

HERMES True as can be, Charon. Why should wise men lie? So let us uproot Ossa first, according to the directions of the poem and the master-builder, Homer ;

1. then upon Ossa
2. Pelion quivering-leaved.

Upon my word, we are still away down among the foot-hills of Heaven! Toward the east I can only just. see Ionia and Lydia, toward the west not beyond Italy and Sicily, toward the north only the country on this side the Danube, and in that direction Crete, but not very plainly. Apparently we must move up

CHARON Let’s do so. But take care that we don’t make the structure too slender by heightening it beyond all reason, and so tumble down with it and pay bitterly for our experiment in Homeric building by breaking our heads.

HERMES Never fear; everything will be secure. Move Oeta over. Roll Parnassus this way. There now, I am going up again. — It is all right, I see everything: now come up yourself.

CHARON Put out your hand, Hermes. This is an uncommonly big piece of stage-machinery that you are mounting me on.

HERMES Must be done, if you are bound to see everything, Charon. One can’t see sights without taking chances. Come, take hold of my right hand and look out you don’t step where it is slippery. Good, you are up too, As Parnassus has two peaks, let us each take a suminit for himself and sit on it. Now, then, look round about you and inspect everything.

CHARON I see a quantity of land with a great lagoon encircling it, mountains, rivers bigger than Cocytus and Pyriphlegethon, tiny little men, and things which look like their hiding-places.

HERMES Those things which you take to be hiding-places are cities.

HERMES Why?

CHARON I can’t see anything plainly from on high. What I wanted was not just to look at cities and mountains as in a picture, but to observe men themselves, what they are doing and what they are saying. For instance, when we first met and you saw me laughing and asked what I was laughing at, I had heard something which amused me vastly.

HERMES What was it?

CHARON A man who had been invited to dinner, I take it, by one of his friends for the next day replied “Certainly I shall come,” and even as he spoke a tile from the roof which someone had dislodged fell on him and killed him. I had to laugh at him because he did not keep his promise—I_ think I shall go down a little, so as to see and_ hear better.

HERMES Hold still ; I will remedy that for you too and will. make you sharp-sighted in a minute by getting a charm out of Homer for this purpose as well as the other. When I say the verses remember not to ‘be short-sighted any longer, but to sce everything distinctly.

HERMES

1. Lo, from your eyes I have lifted a veil that before was upon them.
2. So that your sight may be sure to distinguish a god from a mortal.

CHARON Marvellously! Lynceus was a blind man beside me; so now give me the necessary instruction and answer. my questions. But would you like me to ask them in the language of Homer, so that you may know that I myself am not unfamiliar with his poetry?

HERMES How can you know any of it when you are always on shipboard and at the oar?

CHARON See here, that is a libel on my calling! When I set’ him over the ferry after his death, I leard him recite a quantity of verses and still remember some of them, although a good bit of a storm caught us then. You see, he began to sing a song that was not too auspicious for ‘the passengers, telling how Poseidon brought the clouds together, stirred up the deep by plunging in his trident as if it were a ladle, excited all the gales and a lot more of it. Thus he put the sea in a commotion with his verses, and a black squall suddenly struck us and just missed capsizing the boat. Then he became seasick and jettisoned most of his lays, including Scylla and

Tell me:

1. Who is the burly man yonder, the hero so tall and so handsome,
2. Towering over the throng by a head and a broadpair of shoulders ?

CHARON How much more fitting it would be, Hermes, if they should applaud me ; for in a little while I shall seize Milo himself and heave him aboard the boat, when he comes to us after getting thrown by Death, the most invincible of all antagonists, without even knowing how he was tripped! Then we shall hear him wail, depend upon it, when he remembers these crowns of victory and this applause; but now he thinks highly of himself because of the admiration he is winning for carrying the bull. What! Are we to think that he expects to die some day ?

HERMES : Why should he think of death now, when he is so young and strong?

CHARON Never mind him; he will give us food for laughter

Tell me,

1. Who is the other man yonder, the haughty one?

HERMES That is Cyrus, Charon, the son of Cambyses, who has already transferred to the Persians the empire that once belonged to the Medes. Moreover, he recently conquered the Assyrians and brought Babylon to terms, and now he appears to be meditating a campaign against Lydia, with the idea of overthrowing Croesus and ruling the world.

CHARON And Croesus, where is he ?

HERMES Look over there towards the great acropolis with the triple wall. That is Sardis, and now you see Croesus himself sitting on a golden throne, talking with Solon of Athens. Would you like to listen to what they are saying ?[*](The conversation that follows is based on Herodotus 1.29-33.) CHARON By all means.

CROESUS My friend from Athens, as you have seen my riches, my treasuries, all the bullion that I have and the rest of my splendor, tell me whom do you consider the most fortunate man in the world ?

CHARON What will Solon say to that?

SOLON Fortunate men are few, Croesus, but I consider that of all the men I know, the most fortunate are Cleobis and Biton, the sons of the priestess at Argos, who died together the other day when they had harnessed themselves and drawn their mother to the temple on the wagon.[*](In Herodotus Tellus gets the first place.) CROESUS . Very well, let them have the first rank in good fortune. But who would be the second? :

SOLON Tellus of Athens, who lived happily and died for his country.

CROESUS But what about me, knave? Don’t you think I am fortunate ?

SOLON I do not know, Croesus, and shall not until you come to the close of your life. Death is a sure test in such matters, that and a fortunate life right up to the end.

CHARON Thank you kindly, Solon, for not forgetting us,[*](Himself and Pluto.) but demanding the decision of such matters to be made right at the ferry.

But who are those men whom Croesus is sending out, and what are they carrying on their shoulders ?[*](Compare Herodotus i. 50 ff. The conversation between Solon and Croesus on the subject of the ingots is Lucian’s own contribution.)

CHARON Is that gold, the bright substance that shines, the pale yellow substance with a cast of red? This is the first time that I have seen it, though I am always hearing of it.

HERMES That is it, Charon, the name that they sing of and fight for.

CHARON Really I don’t see what good there is about it, except perhaps for one thing, that its bearers find it heavy.

HERMES You do not know how many wars there have been on account of it, how many plots, perjuries, murders, imprisonments, trading ventures, and enslavements.

CHARON On account of this substance, not much different from bronze? I know bronze, for, as you are aware, I collect an obol from everyone who makes the downward journey.

HERMES Yes, but bronze is plentiful, so that they do not prize it very highly, while this is dug up by the miners at a great depth in small quantities. It comes from the earth, however, like lead and the rest of the metals.

HERMES Well, at any rate Solon yonder does not seem to love it, Charon, as you see, for he is laughing at Croesus and his barbarian boastfulness, and to my mind he wants to ask him a question. Let us listen, then.

SOLON Tell me, Croesus, do you really think that Apollo has any need of these ingots?

CROEsUS Good Heavens, yes! He has nothing to match them among the votive offerings at Delphi.

SOLON Then you expect to make the god happy if he adds ingots of gold to the rest of his possessions ?

CROESUS Why not?

SOLON They are very poor in Heaven from what you say, since they have to send and get gold from Lydia if they want it.

CROESUS Why, where else can there be as much gold as there is in our country ?

SOLON Tell me, is iron produced in Lydia ?

CROESUS Not to any great extent.

CROESUS In what way is iron better than gold ?

SOLON If you will answer my questions without getting angry, you will find out.

CROESUS Ask them, Solon.

SOLON Who is the better man, the one who saves a life or the one who is saved by him ?

CROESUS The one who saves a life of course.

SOLON Then if Cyrus attacks the Lydians, as rumour has it that he will, shall you get swords of gold made for your army, or will iron be necessary in that case?

CROESUS Iron, certainly.

SOLON Yes, and if you should not provide iron, your gold would go off to Persia in captivity.

CROESUS Don’t speak of such a thing, man!

SOLON I pray it may not turn out that way; but you clearly admit that iron is better than gold.

CROESUS Then would you have me offer ingots of iron to the god and call the gold back again ?

CROESUS You are always at war with my wealth and begrudge me it.

HERMES The Lydian cannot abide the outspokenness and the truthfulness of his words, Charon; it seems strange to him when a poor man does not cringe but says frankly whatever occurs to him. But he will remember Solon before long, when he has to be captured and put on the pyre by Cyrus. The other day I heard Clotho reading out the fate that had been spun for everyone, and among other things it had been recorded there that Croesus was to be “captured by Cyrus, and that Cyrus was to be slain by yonder woman of the Massagetae. Do you see her, the Scythian woman riding the white horse?

CHARON Indeed I do.

HERMES That is Tomyris ; and after she has cut off Cyrus’ head she will plunge it into a wine-skin full of blood. And do you see his son, the young man? That is Cambyses ; he will be king after his father, and when he has had no end of ill-luck in Libya and

CHARON How very funny! But now who would dare to look at them, so disdainful are they of the rest of the world? And who could believe that after a little the one will be a prisoner and the other will have his head in a sack of blood?

But who is that man, Hermes, with the purple mantle about him, the one with the crown, to whom the cook, who has just cut open the fish, is giving the ring,

1. All in a sea-girt island; a king he would have us believe him

CHARON Well done, Clotho, noble lady that you are! Burn them, gracious lady, cut off their heads and crucify them, so that they may know they are human. In the meantime let them be exalted, only to have a sorrier fall from a higher place. For my part I shall laugh when I recognize them aboard my skiff, stripped to the skin, taking with them neither purple mantle nor tiara nor throne of gold.

HERMES That is the way their lives will end. But do you see the masses, Charon, the men voyaging, fighting, litigating, farming, lending money, and begging ?

CHARON I see that their activities are varied and their life full of turmoil ; yes, and their cities resemble hives, in which everyone has a sting of his own and stings his neighbour, while some few, like wasps, harry and plunder the meaner sort. But what is that crowd of shapes that flies about them unseen ?

HERMES Hope, Fear, Ignorance, Pleasure, Covetousness, Anger, Hatred and their like. Of these, Ignorance mingles with them down below and shares their common life, and so do Hatred, Anger, Jealousy, Stupidity, Doubt, and Covetousness; but Fear and Hope hover up above, and Fear, swooping down from time to time, terrifies them and makes them cringe, while Hope, hanging overhead, flies up and is off when they are most confident of grasping her, leaving them in the lurch with their mouths open, exactly as you have seen Tantalus served by the water down below.

If you look close, you will also see the Fatés up above, drawing off each man’s thread from the spindle to which, as it happens, one and all are attached by slender threads. Do you see cobwebs, if I may call them so, coming down to each man from the spindles? .

HERMES With good reason, ferryman; it is fated for that man to be killed by this man and this man by another, and for this man to be heir to that one, whose thread is shorter, and that man in turn to this one. That is what the entanglement means. You see, however, that they all hang by slender threads. Furthermore, this man has been drawn up on high and hangs in mid-air, and after a little while, when the filament, no longer strong enough to hold his weight, breaks and he falls to earth, he will make a great noise; but this other, who is lifted but little above the ground, will come down, if at all, so noiselessly that even his neighbours will hardly hear his fall.

CHARON All this is very funny, Hermes.

HERMES Indeed, you cannot find words to tell how ridiculous it is, Charon, especially their inordinate ambition and the way in which they disappear from the scene in the midst of their hopes, carried off by our good friend Death. His messengers and servants are very many, as you see—chills, fevers, wasting sicknesses, inflammations of the lungs, swords, pirate vessels, bowls of hemlock, judges, and tyrants ; and no thought of any of these occurs to them while they are prosperous, but when the come to grief, many are the cries of “Oh!” and

CHARON I see all this, and am wondering what pleasure they find in life and what it is that they are distressed to lose. For example, if one considers their kings, who are counted most happy, quite apart from the instability and uncertainty of their fortune which you allude to, one will find that the pleasures which they have are fewer than the pains, for terrors, alarums, enmities, plots, rage, and flattery are with them always. I say nothing of sorrows, diseases, and misadventures, which of course dominate them without partiality ; but when their lot is hard, one is driven to conjecture what the lot of common men must be.

Let me tell you, Hermes, what I think men and the whole life of man resemble. You have noticed bubbles in water, caused by a streamlet plashing down—I mean those that mass to make foam? Some of them, being small, burst and are gone in an instant, while some last longer and as others join them, become swollen and grow to exceeding great compass ; but afterwards they also burst without fail in time, for it cannot be otherwise. Such is the life of men; they are all swollen with wind, some to greater size, others to less; and with some the swelling is short-lived and swift-fated, while with others it is over as soon as it comes into being ; but in any case they all must burst.

CHARON And although they are like that, Hermes, you see what they do and how ambitious they are, vying with each other for offices, honours, and possessions, all of which they must leave behind them and come down to us with but a single obol. As we are ina high place, would you like me to call out in a great voice and urge them to desist from their vain labours and live always with death before their eyes, saying : “Vain creatures, why have you set your hearts on these things? Cease toiling, for your lives will not endure forever. Nothing that is in honour here is eternal, nor can a man take anything with him when he dies; nay, it is inevitable that he depart naked, and that his house and his land and his money go first to one and then to another, changing their owners.” If I should call to them out of a commanding place and say all this and more, do you not think that they would be greatly assisted in life and made saner by far ?