Icaromenippus

All the same, I would give a good deal to have the fact of my enormous wealth generally known; they would all be fit to hang themselves over it.... Why, whatis this? Well, that is quick work. Here they come running from every point of the compass, all dusty and panting; they have smelt out the gold somehow or other. Now, shall I get on top of this knoll, keep up a galling fire of stones from my point of vantage, and get rid of them that way? Or shall I make an exception to my law by parleying with them for once? contempt might hit harder than stones. Yes, I think that is better; I will stay where I am, and receive them. Let us see, who is this in front? Ah, Gnathonides the flatterer; when I asked an alms of him

Gnathonides What did I tell them?—Timon was too good a man to be abandoned by Providence. How are you, Timon? as good-looking and good-tempered, as good a fellow, as ever?

Timon And you, Gnathonides, still teaching vultures rapacity, and men cunning?

Gnathonides Ah, he always liked his little joke. But where do you dine? I have brought a new song with me, a march out of the last musical thing on.

Timon It will be a funeral march, then, and a very touching one, with spade obbligato.

Gnathonides What means this? This is assault, Timon; just let me find a witness! ... Oh, my God, my God!... I'll have you before the Areopagus for assault and battery.

Timon You’d better not wait much longer, or you'll have to make it murder.

Gnathonides Mercy, mercy! ..- Now, a little gold ointment to heal the wound; it is a first-rate styptic.

Timon What! you won’t go, won’t you?

Gnathonides Oh, I am going. But you shall repent this. Alas, so genial once, and now so rude!

Timon Now who is this with the bald crown?

Why, -it is Philiades; if there is a loathsome flatterer, it is he. When I sang that song that nobody else would applaud, he lauded me to the skies, and swore no dying swan could be more tuneful; his reward was one of my farms, and a £500 portion for his daughter. And then when he found I was ill, and had come to him for assistance, his generous aid took the form of blows.

Philiades You shameless creatures! yes, yes, mow you know Timon’s merits! now Gnathonides would be his friend and boon-companion! well, he has the right reward of ingratitude.

Timon Quite so, Philiades. But come near, will you not, and receive my—spade!

Philiades Help, help! this thankless brute has broken my head, for giving him good counsel.