Demonax

When he was taking a bath and hesitated to enter the steaming water, a man reproached him with cowardice. “Tell me,’ said he, “was my country at stake in the matter?”

When someone asked him: “What do you think it is like in Hades?” he replied: “Wait a bit, and I'll send you word from there!”

A vile poet named Admetus told him that he had written an epitaph in a single line and had given instructions in his will to have it carved on his tomb- . stone. I may as well quote it exactly :

Earth, in thy bosom receive Admetus’s husk ; he’s a god now!

A man saw on the legs of Demonax a discoloration of the sort that is natural to old people, and enquired:

“What’s that, Demonax?”’ With a smile he said: “The ferryman’s toothmark !”

He, saw a Spartan beating a lave, and said: “Stop treating him as your equal !’

When a woman named Danae had a dispute with her brother, he said: “Go to law!

Though your name be Danae, you are not the daughter "of Acrisius (Lawless).” [*](Whipping was a feature of the Spartan training.)

Above all, he made war on those who cultivate philosophy in the spirit of vainglory and not in the spirit of truth. For example, on seeing a Cynic with cloak and wallet, but with a bar (hyperon) for a

When he saw many of the athletes fighting foul and breaking the rules of the games by biting instead of boxing, he said : “No wonder the athletes of the present day are called ‘lions’ by their hangers-on !”

His remark to the proconsul was at once clever and cutting. This man was one of the sort that use pitch to remove hair from their legs and their whole bodies. When a Cynic mounted a stone and charged him with this, accusing him of effeminacy, he was angry, had the fellow hauled down and was on the point of confining him in the stocks or even sentencing him to exile. But Demonax, who was passing by, begged him to pardon the man for making bold to speak his mind in the traditional Cynic way. The proconsul said: “Well, I will let him off for you this time, but if he ever dares to do such a thing again, what shall be done to him?” "Have him depilated !" said Demonax.

One to whom the emperor had entrusted the command of legions and of the most important province asked Demonax what was the best way to exercise authority. “Don’t lose your temper!” said he: “Do little talking and much listening!”

When someone asked him: “Do you eat honeycakes?”’ he replied: “What! do you think the bees lay up their honey just for fools?”

On seeing near the Painted Porch a statue with its hand cut off, he remarked that it was pretty late in the day for the Athenians to be honouring Cynegirus [*](Brother of Aeschylus, who lost his hand at Marathon, and the Painted Porch was so called from a fresco by Polygnotus representing the battle.) with a bronze statue.

Noting that Rufinus the Cypriote (I mean the ‘lame man of the school of Aristotle) was spending much time in the walks of the Lyceum, he remarked: “Pretty cheeky, I call it—a lame Peripatetic (Stroller) !”

When Epictetus rebuked him and advised him to get married and have children, saying that a philosopher ought to leave nature a substitute when he is gone, his answer was very much to the point: « Then give me one of your daughters, Epictetus!”

His reply to Herminus the Aristotelian deserves mention, Aware that, although he was an out-andout scoundrel and had done a thousand misdeeds, he sang the praises of Aristotle and had his Ten Sentences (the Categories) on his tongue’s end, Demonax said: “Herminus, you really need ten sentences !”

When the Athenians, out of rivalry with the Corinthians, were thinking of holding a gladiatorial show, he came before th.m and said: “Don’t pass this resolution, men of Athens, without first pulling down the altar of Mercy.”

When he went to Olympia’and the Eleans voted him a bronze statue, he said: “Don’t do this, men of Elis, for fear you may appear to reflect on yotr ancestors because they did not set up statues either to Socrates or to Diogenes.”

I once heard him say to..., the lawyer, that in all likelihood the laws were of no use, whether framed for the bad or the good ; for the latter had no need of laws, and the former were not improved by them.