Demonax

Another time the same man went to him and asked what philosophical school he favoured most. Demonax replied: “Why, who told you that I was a philosopher?” As he left, he broke into a very hearty laugh ; and when Favorinus asked him what he was laughing at, he replied: “It seemed to me ridiculous that you should think a philosopher can be told by his beard when you yourself have none.”

When the Sidonian sophist [*](Otherwise unknown.) was once showing. his powers at Athens, and was voicing his own praise to the effect that he was acquainted with all philosophy—but I may as well cite his very words : “If Aristotle calls me to the Lyceum, I shall go with him; if Plato calls me to the Academy, I shall come; if Zeno calls, I shall spend my time in the Stoa ; if Pythagoras calls, I shall hold my tongue.” [*](Alluding to the Pythagorean vow of silence.) Well, Demonax arose in the midst of the audience and said: “Ho” (addressing him by name), “Pythagoras is calling you !”

When a handsome young fellow named Pytho, who belonged to one of the aristocratic families in Macedonia, was quizzing him, putting a catchquestion to him and asking him to tell the logical answer, he said: “I know thus much, my boy— it’s a poser, and so are you!” Enraged at the pun, the other said threateningly: “I'll show you in short order that you’ve a man to deal with!”

When an athlete, whom he had ridiculed for letting himself be seen in gay clothes although he was an Olympic champion, struck him on the head with a stone and drew blood, each of the bystanders was as angry as if he himself had been struck, and they shouted “Go to the proconsul!” But Demonax said “No! not to the proconsul—for the doctor !”