Asinus

Pseudo-Lucian

Selections from Lucian. Smith, Emily James, translators. New York; Harper Brothers, 1892.

I once made a journey to Thessaly, having a matter of business connected with my paternal estate to arrange there with a man of that country. A horse carried me and my luggage, and a single servant accompanied me. We followed the usual road, and fell in with other travellers who happened to be going to Hypata, a town in Thessaly in which they lived. We joined company, made our provisions common stock, and in this way achieved that laborious journey. When we were approaching the town I asked the Thessalians whether they knew a resident of Hypata named Hipparchos, for I had a letter of introduction to him from home and expected to lodge with him. They said they did, and told me what part of the town he lived in, and that, although he had plenty of money, his household consisted solely of one maid-servant and his wife. "For," said they, "he is a terrible miser." When we had come very near the town we saw a garden with a tolerable cottage in it, and this was where Hipparchos dwelt.

So the others made

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their adieux and rode on, and I went up to the door and knocked. After a good deal of difficulty and delay the woman managed to hear me, and finally came to the door. I asked whether Hipparchos was at home. "He is," said she; "but who are you and what do you want to see him for?" "I am the bearer of a letter from Dekrianos, the sophist of Patrai.” "Wait here," said she, and, closing the door, she went away. After a while she came back and bade us enter. Accordingly, I went into the house, saluted the master, and presented my letter. It happened that he was just beginning his dinner, reclining on a narrow couch. His wife sat near him, and a table stood before them with nothing on it as yet. As soon as he had cast his eye over the letter he said: "Dekrianos is my dearest friend and the noblest Greek of them all. I take it kindly of him that he sends his own comrades to me with confidence. You see my cottage, Loukios; it is small, but it is just the right size to hold the owner; and you will transform it into a great house, if you will live in it and put up with it." Then he called the maid-servant. "Palaistra, show the gentleman to a bed-chamber, and bring him thither what luggage he has. And then direct him to the bath: he has come a long journey."
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At these words the girl Palaistra led the way and showed a very pretty little sleeping-room. "That is your bed," said she; "and for your servant I will set a couch alongside and put a pillow on it."

When she had thus spoken we went off to bathe, and I gave the girl money to buy a little barley for my horse. She carried in all my belongings and deposited them in my room. When we had bathed and come back to the house we presented ourselves immediately, and Hipparchos, shaking hands with me, bade me recline beside him. The dinner was not too frugal, and the wine was pleasant and old. After dinner we sat talking over our wine-the usual way of entertaining a guest. That whole evening we spent in drinking, and so to bed. Next day Hipparchos asked me whither I purposed going next, or whether I was going to stay there all the time. "I am going on to Larissa," said I, "but probably I shall spend four or five days here."

This, however, was a subterfuge. I had the greatest desire to remain there and search out one of the women versed in sorcery, and see some of their marvellous exhibitions—a human being with wings, or turned into stone; and I surrendered myself to my passion for such a sight, and strolled about the town with no idea how to begin the search, but strolling nevertheless. While I was thus employed I saw a woman

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approaching, young still and well to do, as far as I could judge from a casual meeting. She was dressed in bright stuffs, had a number of attendants, and displayed an extravagance of gold. When I came nearer, the lady greeted me and I returned the salutation. "My name is Abroia," she said. “You may have heard your mother speak of me as a friend. You, her children, are as dear to me as my own. Why, then, my child, do you not come to me as my guest?" "Thank you very much," said I, "but I should be ashamed to desert a friendly man's house when I have no fault to find with him. But as far as my inclination is concerned, dear madam, I would lodge with you." "Where do you lodge, then?" she asked. "With Hipparchos." "The miser?" cried she. "Don't call him that, madam," said I. "He has entertained me brilliantly and generously. Actually, you might accuse him of extravagance." But the lady smiled, and, taking me by the hand, led me apart and said to me: "Pray, be on your guard in every way against Hipparchos's wife, for she is a powerful sorceress. She casts a longing eye on all young men, and if one of them rejects her advances she revenges herself on him by her arts. Many a one has she turned
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into an animal, and many a one destroyed outright. You, my child, are handsome as well as young, so that you find favor with women at once ; and you are a stranger, so that there is no danger in dealing with you."

When I heard that what I had been seeking so long was living in the same house with me, I paid no more heed to the lady. As soon as I could take my leave I made off homeward, saying to myself as I went: "Come, now, you who say you are eager to see this wonderful sight, wake up and invent some sage plan to come at what you want. Practise on Palaistra, the maidservant-for the wife of your host and friend is sacred; wrestling with her, I assure you, you will easily learn what you want, for servants know everything about their masters, good and bad." Talking thus with myself, I entered the house. I did not find Hipparchos at home or his wife either; but Palaistra was sitting by the fire preparing the dinner, and I opened my discourse forthwith.

"Lovely Palaistra,” said I, “how gracefully you turn and sway your body and the kettle at the same time! My marrow melts at the sight. He is a lucky man who dips his finger in that dish." The girl was of a very lively humor and full of charming ways. "Fly, young man,” said she, “if

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you are in your senses and want to live. I am made of fire and smoke. If you should but touch me you will sit here covered with blisters, burned through by me. No doctor will heal you, not even a god, save only me who burned you. Strangest of all, I will make you suffer the more, and you will cherish the painful cure and cling to it, and you would be stoned rather than escape from your pleasant pain. Why do you laugh? You see before you a scientific cook of men. These trumpery eatables are not the only things I can prepare; no, I know well how to butcher and flay and carve that great and noble viand, man. My dearest pleasure is to lay hold of his very vitals and heart." "You are perfectly right," I said; "for even while I was at a distance, before I had come near you, you not only burned me, by Heavens! but set me all in a blaze. Through my eyes you flung your invisible fire into my vitals and are roasting me, though I never did you any harm. So, heal me, in the name of goodness, with those bittersweet remedies you speak of yourself. I am butchered already; take me and flay me as you will." At this she burst into a peal of sweet laughter, and after that she was a complete conquest.

I said to her one day, "My dear, get me sight of your mistress practising her mysteries or changing

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her shape. For a long time I have been eager to see this curious thing. Or, better still, if you know anything of the black art, exhibit it yourself, and show yourself to me in some other form than your own. I have a notion that you are not altogether ignorant of this science, and I know it from my own heart, not from hearsay; for I used to be adamantine, the women said, and I never cast these eyes tenderly on any girl before; but you laid hold of me by your arts and led me off, after our loving contest, as the captive of your spear." "Stop making fun of me," said Palaistra. "What incantation could charm Love, since he is lord of all sorcery? No, sweetheart; I swear by your head that I know nothing whatever of these things. I have never learned so much as my letters, and my mistress is very jealous of her art. But if I should have a chance, I will try to show her to you in the act of changing her shape."

A few days later Palaistra informed me that her mistress was intending to put on the guise of a bird and fly off to her lover. "Now is your time, Palaistra," said I, "to do me a kindness; for it is in your power to satisfy the long-cherished desire of your suppliant." "Never fear," said she. And when it was evening she came for me, and brought me to the door

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of the chamber in which her master and mistress slept, and bade me stand by a narrow chink in the door and watch what was going on within. Well, I saw the lady stripping off her clothes. When she was naked she advanced to the lamp, took two grains of incense and cast them on the flame, and, standing still, addressed a long speech to it. Then she opened a strong little chest with a great many boxes in it, lifted one of them and took it out. I do not know the nature of the contents, but from its appearance I judged it was oil. From this box she anointed herself completely, beginning with her finger-nails, and suddenly feathers sprang out on her, her nose grew horny and curved, and she displayed all the other properties and traits of a bird. She was nothing else than a night-hawk. When she was completely feathered she gave a harsh cry like a hawk's, stood up, and took her flight out of the window.