Memorabilia

Nevertheless, he continued, it is very important that your behaviour to a man should be both natural and correct. For assuredly you can neither catch a friend nor keep him by violence;[*](Cyropaedia VIII. vii. 13.) it is kindness and sweetness that catch the creature and hold him fast.True, she said.

First, then, you must ask such favours of your suitors as they will grant without a moment’s hesitation; and next you must repay their favours in the same coin; for in this way they will prove most sincerely your friends, most constant in their affection and most generous.

And they will appreciate your favours most highly if you wait till they ask for them. The sweetest meats, you see, if served before they are wanted, seem sour, and to those who have had enough they are positively nauseating; but even poor fare is very welcome when offered to a hungry man.

And how can I make them hunger for my fare?Why, in the first place, you must not offer it to them when they have had enough, nor prompt them until they have thrown off the surfeit and are beginning to want more; then, when they feel the want, you must prompt them by behaving as a model of propriety, by a show of reluctance to yield, and by holding back until they are as keen as can be; for then the same gifts are much more to the recipient than when they are offered before they are desired.

Then, Socrates, exclaimed Theodoté, why don’t you become my partner in the pursuit of friends?By all means — if you persuade me.And how am I to persuade you?That you will find out and contrive for yourself, if you want my help.Come and see me often, then.

Ah! said Socrates, making fun of his own leisurely habits, it’s not so easy for me to find time. For I have much business to occupy me, private and public; and I have the dear girls, who won’t leave me day or night; they are studying potions with me and spells.

Indeed! do you understand these things too, Socrates?Why, what is the reason that master Apollodorus and Antisthenes never leave me, do you suppose? And why do Cebes and Simmias come to me from Thebes? I assure you these things don’t happen without the help of many potions and spells and magic wheels.

Do lend me your wheel, that I may turn it first to draw you.But of course I don’t want to be drawn to you: I want you to come to me.Oh, I’ll come: only mind you welcome me.Oh, you shall be welcome — unless there’s a dearer girl with me!