Memorabilia

Ah no, Critobulus, said Socrates, it belongs not to my skill to lay hands on the fair and force them to submit. I am convinced that the reason why men fled from Scylla was that she laid hands on them; but the Sirens laid hands on no man; from far away they sang to all, and therefore, we are told, all submitted, and hearing were enchanted.[*](Odyssey xii. 39 f., adapted.)

I am not going to put a hand on anyone, said Critobulus, so teach me any good plan you know for making friends.Then won’t you put lip to lip either?Courage! answered Critobulus, I won’t touch a lip with mine either — unless the owner is fair!That’s an unfortunate beginning for you, Critobulus! The fair[*](i.e., beautiful in character (soul).) won’t submit to such conduct; but the ugly like it, supposing that they are called fair for the beauty of their souls.

A kiss for the fair, exclaimed Critobulus, and a thousand kisses for the good! That shall be my motto, so take courage, and teach me the art of catching friends.Well then, Critobulus, said Socrates, when you want to make a new friend, will you let me warn him that you admire him and want his friendship?Warn him by all means: no one hates those who praise him, so far as I know.

Suppose I go on to warn him that your admiration makes you well disposed towards him, you won’t think I am slandering you, will you?Nay; when I guess that anyone feels well disposed towards me, a like goodwill towards him is begotten in me.

Then you will permit me to say this about you to those whose friendship you desire. Now if you will give me permission to tell them besides that you are devoted to your friends and nothing gives you so much pleasure as good friends; that you take as much pride in your friends’ fair achievements as in your own, and as much pleasure in your friends’ good as in your own, and never weary of contriving it for your friend’s; and you have made up your mind that a man’s virtue consists in outdoing his friends in kindness and his enemies in mischief; then I think you will find me a useful companion in the quest of good friends.

Now why do you say this to me? as if you were not free to say what you choose about me.Not so indeed: I can quote Aspasia against you. She once told me that good matchmakers are successful in making marriages only when the good reports they carry to and fro are true; false reports she would not recommend, for the victims of deception hate one another and the matchmaker too. I am convinced that this is sound, and so I think it is not open to me to say anything in your praise that I can’t say truthfully.

It appears, Socrates, that you are the sort of friend to help me if I am in any way qualified to make friends: but if not, you won’t make up a story to help me.How do you think I shall help you best, Critobulus, by false praise, or by urging you to try to be a good man?