Memorabilia

But, again, it is equally clear that anyone who goes to war will need allies, and more of them if he is to fight an army of gentlemen. Moreover, those who are willing to fight at your side must be well treated that they may be willing to exert themselves; and it is a far sounder plan to show kindness to the best, who are fewer in number, than to the worst, who are the greater company; for the bad want many more kindnesses than the good.

Courage, Critobulus; try to be good, and when you have achieved that, set about catching your gentleman. Maybe, I myself, as an adept in love, can lend you a hand in the pursuit of gentlemen. For when I want to catch anyone it’s surprising how I strain every nerve to have my love returned, my longing reciprocated by him, in my eagerness that he shall want me as much as I want him.

I see that you too will feel this need when you want to form a friendship. So do not hide from me the names of those whom you wish to make your friends; for I am careful to please him who pleases me, and so, I think, I am not without experience in the pursuit of men.

Well, Socrates, said Critobulus in reply, these are the lessons I have long wished to learn, especially if the same skill will serve to win a good soul and a fair face.

Ah no, Critobulus, said Socrates, it belongs not to my skill to lay hands on the fair and force them to submit. I am convinced that the reason why men fled from Scylla was that she laid hands on them; but the Sirens laid hands on no man; from far away they sang to all, and therefore, we are told, all submitted, and hearing were enchanted.[*](Odyssey xii. 39 f., adapted.)

I am not going to put a hand on anyone, said Critobulus, so teach me any good plan you know for making friends.Then won’t you put lip to lip either?Courage! answered Critobulus, I won’t touch a lip with mine either — unless the owner is fair!That’s an unfortunate beginning for you, Critobulus! The fair[*](i.e., beautiful in character (soul).) won’t submit to such conduct; but the ugly like it, supposing that they are called fair for the beauty of their souls.

A kiss for the fair, exclaimed Critobulus, and a thousand kisses for the good! That shall be my motto, so take courage, and teach me the art of catching friends.Well then, Critobulus, said Socrates, when you want to make a new friend, will you let me warn him that you admire him and want his friendship?Warn him by all means: no one hates those who praise him, so far as I know.

Suppose I go on to warn him that your admiration makes you well disposed towards him, you won’t think I am slandering you, will you?Nay; when I guess that anyone feels well disposed towards me, a like goodwill towards him is begotten in me.

Then you will permit me to say this about you to those whose friendship you desire. Now if you will give me permission to tell them besides that you are devoted to your friends and nothing gives you so much pleasure as good friends; that you take as much pride in your friends’ fair achievements as in your own, and as much pleasure in your friends’ good as in your own, and never weary of contriving it for your friend’s; and you have made up your mind that a man’s virtue consists in outdoing his friends in kindness and his enemies in mischief; then I think you will find me a useful companion in the quest of good friends.

Now why do you say this to me? as if you were not free to say what you choose about me.Not so indeed: I can quote Aspasia against you. She once told me that good matchmakers are successful in making marriages only when the good reports they carry to and fro are true; false reports she would not recommend, for the victims of deception hate one another and the matchmaker too. I am convinced that this is sound, and so I think it is not open to me to say anything in your praise that I can’t say truthfully.

It appears, Socrates, that you are the sort of friend to help me if I am in any way qualified to make friends: but if not, you won’t make up a story to help me.How do you think I shall help you best, Critobulus, by false praise, or by urging you to try to be a good man?

If you don’t yet see clearly, take the following cases as illustrations. Suppose that I wanted to get a shipmaster to make you his friend, and as a recommendation told him that you are a good skipper, which is untrue; and suppose that he believed me and put you in charge of his ship in spite of your not knowing how to steer it: have you any reason to hope that you would not lose the ship and your life as well? Or suppose that I falsely represented to the Assembly that you are a born general, jurist and statesman in one, and so persuaded the state to commit her fortunes to you, what do you suppose would happen to the state and to yourself under your guidance? Or again, suppose that I falsely described you to certain citizens in private as a thrifty, careful person, and persuaded them to place their affairs in your hands, wouldn’t you do them harm and look ridiculous when you came to the test?

Nay, Critobulus, if you want to be thought good at anything, you must try to be so; that is the quickest, the surest, the best way.[*](Cyropaedia I. vi. 22.) You will find on reflection that every kind of virtue named among men is increased by study and practice. Such is the view I take of our duty, Critobulus. If you have anything to say against it, tell me.Why, Socrates, said Critobulus, I should be ashamed to contradict you, for I should be saying what is neither honourable nor true.

To pass to another subject. The distresses of his friends that arose from ignorance he tried to cure by advice, those that were due to want by telling them how to help one another according to their power. On this subject too I will state what I know about him.One day, noticing that Aristarchus looked glum, he said: Aristarchus, you seem to have a burden on your mind. You should let your friends share it; possibly we may do something to ease you.

Ah yes, Socrates, replied Aristarchus, I am in great distress. Since the revolution there has been an exodus to the Piraeus, and a crowd of my women-folk, being left behind, are come to me, — sisters, nieces and cousins, — so that we are fourteen in the house without counting the slaves. We get nothing from our land, because our enemies have seized it, and nothing from our house property, now there are so few residents in the city. Portable property finds no buyers, and it’s quite impossible to borrow money anywhere: I really think a search in the street would have better result than an application for a loan. It’s hard, Socrates, to let one’s people die, but impossible to keep so many in times like these.When Socrates heard this, he asked:

How is it that with so many mouths to feed Ceramon not only contrives to provide for the needs of himself and his family, but actually saves enough to make him a rich man, whereas you, with so many mouths to feed, fear you will all be starved to death?The explanation, of course, is this: my dependants are gentlefolk, his are slaves.

And which do you think are the better, his slaves or your gentlefolk?My gentlefolk, I think.Then is it not disgraceful that you with your gentlefolk should be in distress, while he is kept in affluence by his meaner household?Of course his dependants are artisans, while mine have had a liberal education.

What is an artisan? one who knows how to produce something useful?Certainly.Are groats useful?Yes, very.And bread?No less so.What about men’s and women’s cloaks, shirts, capes, smocks?Yes, all these things too are very useful.Then don’t the members of your household know how to make any of these?I believe they can make all of them.

Don’t you know, then, that by manufacturing one of these commodities, namely groats, Nausicydes keeps not only himself and his family, but large herds of swine and cattle as well, and has so much to spare that he often undertakes costly public duties; that Cyrebus feeds his whole family well and lives in luxury by baking bread, Demeas of Collytus by making capes, Menon by making cloaks; and most of the Megarians make a good living out of smocks?Yes, of course; for they buy foreign slaves and can force them to make what is convenient, but my household is made up of gentlefolk and relations.