Memorabilia

Oh yes, replied Antisthenes, there are men whose friendship I, at any rate, would rather have than two minas: others I should value at less than half a mina: others I would prefer to ten minas: others I would sacrifice any sum and take any trouble to have among my friends.

Then if that is so, said Socrates, were it not well that one should ask himself how much he is really worth to his friends, and try to make himself as precious as possible, in order that his friends may not be tempted to betray him? For my part, I often hear complaints of this sort: A friend betrayed me, one whom I regarded as my friend gave me up for the sake of a mina.

I think over such matters and reflect that, when a man sells a bad slave he takes anything he can get for him; and perhaps it is tempting to sell a bad friend when there is a chance of getting more than he is worth. Good servants, I find, are not offered for sale, nor are good friends betrayed.

In the following conversation I thought he gave instruction for testing the qualities that make a man’s friendship worth winning.Tell me, Critobulus, he said, if we wanted a good friend, how should we start on the quest? Should we seek first for one who is no slave to eating and drinking, lust, sleep, idleness? For the thrall of these masters cannot do his duty by himself or his friend.No, of course not.Then you think we should avoid one who is subject to them?I do, certainly.

Now what about the spendthrift who is never satisfied, who is always appealing to his neighbours for help, if he receives something, makes no return, if he receives nothing, resents it? Don’t you think he too is a troublesome friend?Certainly.Then we must avoid him too?We must indeed.

Again, what about the skilful man of business who is eager to make money, and consequently drives a hard bargain, who likes to receive but is disinclined to repay?So far as I see, he is even worse than the last.

And what of the man who is such a keen man of business that he has no leisure for anything but the selfish pursuit of gain?We must avoid him too, I think. There is no profit in knowing him.And what of the quarrelsome person who is willing to provide his friends with plenty of enemies?We must shun him too, of course.Suppose that a man is free from all these faults, but stoops to receive kindness with no thought of returning it?There is no profit in him either. But what are the qualities for which we shall try to win a man’s friendship, Socrates?The opposite of these, I suppose.

We shall look for one who controls his indulgence in the pleasures of the body, who is truly hospitable[*](Or εὔνους, loyal, or εὔορκος, scrupulous, a man of his word.) and fair in his dealings and eager to do as much for his benefactors as he receives from them, so that he is worth knowing.

Then how can we test these qualities, Socrates, before intimacy begins?What test do we apply to a sculptor? We don’t judge by what he says, but we look at his statues, and if we see that the works he has already produced are beautiful, we feel confident that his future works will be as good.

You mean that anyone whose good works wrought upon his old friends are manifest will clearly prove a benefactor to new friends also?Yes; for when I find that an owner of horses has been in the habit of treating his beasts well I think that he will treat others equally well.

Granted! but when we have found a man who seems worthy of our friendship, how are we to set about making him our friend?First we should seek guidance from the gods, whether they counsel us to make a friend of him.And next? Supposing that we have chosen and the gods approve him, can you say how is he to be hunted?

Surely not like a hare by swift pursuit, nor like birds by cunning, nor like enemies[*](Or κάπροι, boars.) by force. It is no light task to capture a friend against his will, and hard to keep him a prisoner like a slave. Hatred, rather than friendship, comes of that treatment.

But how does friendship come?There are spells, they say, wherewith those who know charm whom they will and make friends of them, and drugs which those who know give to whom they choose and win their love.

How then can we learn them?You have heard from Homer the spell that the Sirens put on Odysseus. It begins like this:

1. Hither, come hither, renowned Odysseus, great glory of the Achaeans.