Deipnosophistae

But the race of cooks are really very curious for the most part about the histories and names of things. Accordingly the most learned of them say,

The knee is nearer than

v.2.p.603

the leg,

—and,

I have travelled over Asia and Europe:

and when they are finding fault with any one they say,

It is impossible to make a Peleus out of an Œneus.

—and I once marvelled at one of the old cooks, after I had enjoyed his skill and the specimens of his art which he had invented. And Alexis, in his Caldron, introduces one speaking in he following manner—

1. A. He boil'd, it seem'd to me, some pork, from off
2. A pig who died by suffocation.
3. B. That's nice.
4. A. And then he scorch'd it at the fire.
5. B. Never mind that; that can be remedied.
6. A. How so?
7. B. Take some cold vinegar, and pour it
8. Into a plate. Dost heed me Then take up
9. The dish while hot and put it in the vinegar;
10. For while 'tis hot 'twill draw the moisture up
11. Through its material, which is porous all;
12. And so fermenting, like a pumice-stone,
13. 'Twill open all its spongy passages,
14. Through which it will imbibe new moisture thoroughly.
15. And so the meat will cease to seem dried up,
16. But will be moist and succulent again.
17. A. O Phœbus, what a great physician's here!
18. O Glaucias!—I will do all you tell me.
19. B. And serve them, when you do serve them up,
20. (Dost mark me?) cold; for so no smell too strong
21. Will strike the nostrils; but rise high above them.
22. A. It seems to me you're fitter to write books
23. Than to cook dinners; since you quibble much
24. In all your speeches, jesting on your art.

And now we have had enough of cooks, my feasters; lest perhaps some one of them, pluming himself and quoting the Morose Man of Menander, may spout such lines as these—

1. No one who does a cook an injury
2. Ever escapes unpunish'd; for our art
3. Is a divine and noble one.

But I say to you, in the words of the tuneful Diphilus—

1. I place before you now a lamb entire,
2. Well skewer'd, and well cook'd and season'd;
3. Some porkers in their skins, and roasted whole;
4. And a fine goose stuff'd full, like Dureus.

We must now speak of the goose. For as many geese were served up very excellently dressed, some one said, Look at the fat geese (σιτευτοὶ χῆνες). And Ulpian said, Where do you ever find the expression σιτευτὸς χήν? And Plutarch

answered him:—Theopompus the Chian, in his History of Greece, and in the thirteenth book of his History of the Affairs and Exploits of Philip, says that the Egyptians sent to Agesilaus the Lacedæmonian, when he arrived in Egypt, some fatted (σιτευτοὺς) calves and geese (χῆνας). And Epigenes the comic poet says in his Bacchanalian Women—

1. But if a person were to take me like
2. A fatted goose (χῆνα σιτευτόν).

And Archestratus, in that celebrated poem of his, says—

1. And at the same time dress the young of one
2. Fat goose (σιτευτοῦ χῆνος), and let him too be roasted thoroughly.

But we have a right now, O Ulpian, to expect you to tell us, you who question everybody about everything, where this very costly dish of the livers of geese has been mentioned by any ancient writer. For Cratinus is a witness that they were acquainted with people whose business it was to feed geese, in his Dionysalexander, where he says—

1. Geese-feeders, cow-herds . . . .

And Homer uses the word χὴν in both the masculine and feminine gender; for he says—

1. αἰετὸς ἀργὴν χῆνα φέρων–An eagle carrying off a lazy goose.

And again he says—

1. And as he seized a fine home-fatten'd goose (χῆνα ἀτιταλλομένην).

And in another place he says—

1. I've twenty geese, fond of the lucid stream,
2. Who in my house eat wheat, and fatten fast.

And Eupolis mentions the livers of geese (and they are thought an excessive delicacy at Rome), in his Women Selling Garlands, where he says—

1. If you have not a goose's liver or heart.

There were also heads of pigs split in half and served up as a dish. And this dish is mentioned by Crobylus, in his Son falsely held to be Supposititious—

1. There came in half a head of a young pig,
2. A tender dish; and I did stick to it
3. So close, by Jove, that I left none of it.

After these things there was served up a haricot, called κρεωκάκκαβος. And this dish consists of meat chopped up with blood and fat, in a sauce richly sweetened: and Aristophanes the Grammarian says that it was the Achæans who gave this name to the dish. But Anticlides, in the seventy-eighth book of his Returns, says, “Once when there was a design on the part of the Erythreans to put the Chians to death by treachery at a banquet, one of them having learnt what was intended to be done, said–

1. O Chians, wondrous is the insolence
2. Which now has seized the Erythreans' hearts.
3. Flee when you've done your pork-don't wait for beef.

And Aristomenes, in his Jugglers, makes mention in the following terms of boiled meat, which he calls ἀναβραστὰ κρέα— * * * * * They used also to eat the testicles of animals, which they called νέφροι.—Philippodes, in his Renovation, speaking of the gluttony of Gnathæna the courtesan, says—

1. Then, after all these things, a slave came in,
2. Bearing a large dish full of testicles;
3. And all the rest of the girls made prudish faces,
4. But fair Gnathæna, that undoer of men,
5. Laughed, and said, "Capital things are testicles,
6. I swear by Ceres." So she took a pair
7. And ate them up: so that the guests around
8. Fell back upon their chairs from laughing greatly.

And when some one said that a cock dressed with a sauce of oil and vinegar (ὀξυλίπαρον) was a very good bird, Ulpian, who was fond of finding fault, and who was reclining on a couch by himself, eating little, but watching the rest of the guests, said—What is that ὀξυλίπαρον you speak of? unless indeed you give that name to the small figs called κόττανα and lepidium, which are both national food of mine. —But Timocles, he replied, the comic poet, in his play called The Ring, mentions ὀξυλίπαρον, saying—

1. And sharks and rays and all the other fish,
2. Which may be dressed in sauce of ὀξυλίπαρον.

And Alexis has called some men ἀκρολίπαροι, fat on the surface, in his Wicked Woman, saying—

1. Fat on the surface, but the rest of their body
2. Is all as dry as wood.

And once when a large fish was served up in sour pickle (ὀξάλμν), and somebody said that every fish (ὀψάριον) was best when dressed in this kind of pickle, Ulpian, picking out the small bones, and contracting his brows, said,—here do you find the word ὀξάλμη? And as to ὀψάριον, I am quite sure that that is a word used by no living author. However, at that time the guests all desired him to settle that as he pleased, and themselves preferred eating; while Cynulcus quoted these lines out of the Breezes of Metagenes—

1. But, my friend, now let us dine,
2. After that ask what you choose;
3. For at present I'm so hungry,
4. I can't recollect a thing.

But Myrtilus in a pleasant manner declared that he subscribed to Ulpian's sentiments, so as to be willing to have nothing to eat, as long as he might talk; and said;—Cratinus, in his Ulysseses, has mentioned ὀξάλμη, in the following lines—

1. And in return for this I now will take
2. All you my brave companions; and will pound,
3. And boil, and broil, and roast you thoroughly,
4. In pickle, sour pickle (ὀξάλμη), garlic pickle,
5. Soaking you thoroughly in each by turns.
6. And that one which does seem most fairly roasted
7. I'll do the honour to devour myself.

And Aristophanes, in his Wasps,—

1. Breathe on me, and then put me in hot pickle (ὀξάλμη).

And of living people we ourselves use the word ὀψάριον. Plato does so too; speaking of fish in his Pisander, he says—

1. A. Now eating . . . .
2. B. What on earth? . . .
3. A. Why, all there is;
4. Fish (ὀψάριον).
5. B. You were sick, and did they give you this?
6. A. But I, the other day, eating a crab . . . .

And Pherecrates, in his Deserters, says—

1. Some one has served us up this dish of fish (τʼ ὀψάριον).

And Philemon, in his Treasure, says—

1. It is not right to cheat us in this way,
2. Nor to have worthless fish (ὀψάρια).

And Menander, in his Carthaginian, says—

1. I offered Boreas much frankincense,
2. And yet I did not catch one single fish (0ʼψάριον),
3. So I must now cook lentils for my supper.

And in his Ephesian he says—

1. Having some fish (ὀψάριον) for breakfast.

And then he goes on to say—

1. Some fishmonger
2. Sold me'some tench for four drachmas a-piece.

And Anaxilas, in his Hyacinthus the Pander, says—

1. I now, O Dion, will buy you some fish (ὀψάριον).

And a few lines afterwards he writes—

1. Now dress, O boy, the fish (τοὐψάριον) for us.

And in the Anagyrus of Aristophanes we read—

1. Unless on all occasions you do soothe me
2. With dainty dishes of fish (ὀψαρίου).

Where, however, perhaps we must take ὀψάρια as used synony- mously with προσψωήματα, for made dishes in general. For Alexis, in his Woman Sitting up all Night, represents a cook as speaking in the following terms:—

1. A. Do you prefer your high made dishes hot,
2. Or cold, or something just between the two?
3. B. Cold.
4. A. Are you sure, my master? only think;
5. The man has not one notion how to live?
6. Am I to serve you everything up cold?
7. B. By no means.
8. A. Will you, then, have all things hot
9. B. O Phœbus!
10. A. Then, if neither hot nor cold,
11. They surely must be just between the two;
12. And none of all my fellows can do this.
13. B. I dare say not, nor many other things
14. Which you can do.
15. A. I'll tell you now, for I
16. Give all the guests an opportunity
17. To practise a wise mixture of their food.
18. Have you not, I adjure you by the gods,
19. Just slain a kid?
20. B. Don't cut me, cut the meat:—
21. Boys, bring the kid.
22. A. Is there a kitchen near?
23. B. There is.
24. A. And has it got a chimney too?
25. For this you do not say.
26. B. It has a chimney.
27. A. But if it smokes, it will be worse than none.
28. B. The man will kill me with his endless questions.

These passages I have quoted to you on the part of us who are still alive, my well-fed friend Ulpian. For you too, as it seems to me, agree so far with Alexis as to eat no living animals. And Alexis, in his Attic Woman, speaks in the following manner—

1. The man who first did say that no philosopher
2. Would eat of living things, was truly wise.
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3. For I am just come home, and have not bought
4. A living thing of any kind. I've bought
5. Some fish, but they were dead, and splendid fish.
6. Then here are joints of well-fed household lamb,
7. But he was killed last week. What else have I?
8. Oh, here's some roasted liver. If there be
9. A man who can this liver prove to have
10. Or soul or voice or animation,
11. I will confess I've err'd and broken the law.

So now after all this let us have some supper. For just see, while I am talking to you, all the pheasants have flown by me, and are gone out of reach, disregarding me, because of your unseasonable chattering. But I should like you to tell me, my master Myrtilus, said Ulpian, where you got that word ὀλβιογάστωρ, and also whether any ancient author mentions the pheasant, and I—

1. Rising at early morn to sail . . . .

not through the Hellespont, but into the market-place, will buy a pheasant which you and I may eat together.

And Myrtilus said,—On this condition I will tell you. Amphis uses the word ὀλβιογάστωρ in his Gynæcomania, where he speaks as follows:—

1. Eurybates, you hunter of rich smells,
2. You surely are the most well-fed (ὀλβιογάστωρ) of men.

And as for the bird called the pheasant, that delicious writer Aristophanes mentions it in his play called The Birds. There are in that play two old Athenians, who, from their love of idleness, are looking for a city where there is nothing to do, that they may live there; and so they take a fancy to the life among the birds. And accordingly they come to the birds: and when all of a sudden some wild bird flies towards them, they, alarmed at the sight, comfort one another, and say a great many things, and among them they say this—

1. A. What now is this bird which we here behold?
2. Will you not say?
3. B. I think it is a pheasant.

And I also understand the passage in the Clouds to refer to birds, and not to horses as many people take it—

1. The Phasian flocks, bred by Leogoras.

For it is very possible that Leogoras may have bred horses and pheasants too. And Leogoras is also turned into ridicule as a gourmand by Plato in his Very Miserable Man. And Mnesimachus, in his play called Philip, (and Mnesi- machus is one of the poets of the Middle Comedy,) says—

1. And as the proverb runs, it is more rare
2. Than milk of birds, or than a splendid pheasant
3. Artistically pluck'd.

And Theophrastus the Eresian, a pupil of Aristotle, mentions them in the third book of his Treatise on Animals, speaking nearly as follows—

There is also some such difference as this in birds. For the heavy birds which are not so well suited for flying such as the woodcock, the partridge, the cock, and the pheasant, are very well adapted for walking and have thick plumage.

And Aristotle, in the eighth book of his History of Animals, writes thus:—

Now of birds there are some which are fond of dusting themselves, and some which are fond of washing, and some which neither dust nor wash themselves. And those which are not good flyers, but which keep chiefly on the ground, are fond of dusting themselves; such as the common fowl, the partridge, the woodcock, the pheasant, the lark.

Speusippus also mentions them in the second book of his treatise on Things Resembling one another. And the name these men give the pheasant is φασιανὸς, not φασιανικός.

But Agatharchides of Cnidos, in the thirty-fourth book of his History of the Affairs of Europe, speaking of the river Phasis, writes as follows:—

But the great multitude of the birds called pheasants (φασιανοι) come for the sake of food to the places where the mouths of the rivers fall into the sea.

And Callixenus the Rhodian, in the fourth book of his Account of Alexandria, describing a procession which took place in Alexandria, when Ptolemy who was surnamed Philadelphus was king, mentions, as a very extraordinary circumstance connected with these birds—

Then there were brought on in cases parrots, and peacocks, and guinea-fowl, and pheasants, and an immense number of Aethiopian birds.

And Artemidorus the pupil of Aristophanes, in his book entitled The Glossary of Cookery, and Pamphilus the Alexandrian, in his treatise on Names and Words, represents Epænetus as saying in his Cookery Book that the pheasant is also called τατύρας. But Ptolemy Euergetes, in the second book of his Commentaries, says that the pheasant is called τατύρας. Now this is what I am able to tell you about the pheasant, which I have seen brought up on your account, as if we all had fevers. But you, if you do not, according to your agreement, give me tomorrow what you have covenanted to, I do not say that I will prosecute you in the public courts for deceit, but I will send you away to live near the Phasi, as Polemon, the Describer of the World, wished to drown Ister the pupil of Callimachus, the historian, in the river of the same name.

The next thing to be mentioned is the woodcock. Aristophanes, in his Storks, says—

1. The woodcock, most delicious meat to boil,
2. Fit dish for conqueror's triumphal feast.

And Alexander the Myndian says that it is a bird a little larger than a partridge, and spotted all over the back, about the colour of earthenware, but a little more ruddy. And it is caught by the hunters, because it is a heavy flyer in consequence of the shortness of its wings; and it is a bird fond of dusting itself, and very prolific, and it feeds on seeds.[*](I have translated ἀτταγᾶς the woodcock, because that is always considered to be the bird meant, but it is plain that the description here given does not apply in the least to the woodcock. In some particulars it is more like the landrail.) But Socrates, in his treatise on Boundaries, and Places, and Fire, and Stones, says,—

The woodcock having been transported into Egypt from Lydia, and having been let loose in the woods there, for some time uttered a sound like a quail: but after the river got low, and a great scarcity arose, in which a great many of the natives of the country died, they never ceased uttering, as they do to this day, in a voice more distinct than that of the very clearest speaking children, ' Threefold evils to the wicked doers.' But when they are caught it is not only impossible to tame them, but they even cease to utter any sound at all; but if they are let go again, they recover their voice.

And Hipponax mentions them thus—

1. Not eating woodcocks or the timid hare.

And Aristophanes, in his Birds, mentions them also. And in his Acharnians he speaks of them as being very common in the district about Megara. And the Attic writers circumflex the noun in a manner quite contrary to analogy. For words of more than two syllables ending in ας, when the final α is long, are barytones; as for instance, ἀκάμας, σακάδας, ἀδάμας. And we ought also to read the plural ἀττάγαι, and not ἀτταγῆνες.