Deipnosophistae

And Diphilus says in his Busybody—

1. I used to think the race of fishmongers
2. Was only insolent in Attica;
3. But now I see that like wild beasts they are
4. Savage by nature, everywhere the same.
5. But here is one who goes beyond his fellows,
6. Nourishing flowing hair, which he doth call
7. Devoted to his god-though that is not the reason,
8. But he doth use it as a veil to hide
9. The brand which marks his forehead. Should you ask him,
10. What is this pike's price? he will tell you

    tenpence;

11. Not say what pence he means; then if you give him
12. The money, he will claim Aegina's coinage;
13. While if you ask for change, he'll give you Attic.
14. And thus he makes a profit on both sides.

And Xenarchus says in his Purple—

1. Poets are nonsense; for they never say
2. A single thing that's new. But all they do
3. Is to clothe old ideas in language new,
4. Turning the same things o'er and o'er again,
5. And upside down. But as to fishmongers,
6. They're an inventive race, and yield to none
7. In shameless conduct. For as modern laws
8. Forbid them now to water their stale fish,
9. Some fellow, hated by the gods, beholding
10. His fish quite dry, picks with his mates a quarrel,
11. And blows are interchanged. Then when one thinks
12. He's had enough, he falls, and seems to faint,
13. And lies like any corpse among his baskets.
14. Some one calls out for water; and his partner
15. Catches a pail, and throws it o'er his friend
16. So as to sprinkle all his fish, and make
17. The world believe them newly caught and fresh.

And that they often do sell fish which is dead stinking is proved by what Antiphanes says in his Adulterers, as follows—

1. There's not on earth a more unlucky beast
2. Than a poor fish, for whom 'tis not enough
3. To die when caught, that they may find at once
4. A grave in human stomachs; but what's worse,
5. They fall into the hands of odious fishmongers,
6. And rot and lie upon their stalls for days;
7. And if they meet with some blind purchaser,
8. He scarce can carry them when dead away;
9. But throws them out of doors, and thinks that he
10. Has through his nose had taste enough of them.

And in his Friend of the Thebans he say—

1. Is it not quite a shame, that if a man
2. Has fresh-caught fish to sell, he will not speak
3. To any customer without a frown
4. Upon his face, and language insolent
5. And if his fish are stale, he jokes and laughs-
6. While his behaviour should the contrary be;
7. The first might laugh, the latter should be shamed.

And that they sell their fish very dear we are told by Alexis in his Pylæan Women—

1. Yes, by Minerva, I do marvel at
2. The tribe of fishmongers, that they are not
3. All wealthy men, such royal gains they make.
4. For sitting in the market they do think it
5. A trifling thing to tithe our properties;
6. But would take all at one fell swoop away.

And the same poet says in his play entitled the Caldron—

1. There never was a better lawgiver
2. Than rich Aristonicus. For he now
3. Does make this law, that any fishmonger
4. Who puts a price upon his fish, and then
5. Sells it for less, shall be at once dragg'd off
6. And put in prison; that by their example
7. The rest may learn to ask a moderate price,
8. And be content with that, and carry home
9. Their rotten fish each evening; and then
10. Old men, old women, boys, and all their customers,
11. Will buy whatever suits them at fair price.

And a little further on he says—

1. There never has, since Solon's time, been seen
2. A better lawgiver than Aristonicus.
3. For he has given many different laws,
4. And now he introduces this new statute,
5. A golden statute, that no fishmonger
6. Should sell his fish while sitting, but that all
7. Shall stand all day i' the market. And he says
8. Next year he will enact that they shall sell
9. Being hung up; for so they will let off
10. Their customers more easily, when they
11. Are raised by a machine like gods in a play.

And Antiphanes, in his Hater of Wickedness, displays their rudeness and dishonesty, comparing them to the greatest criminals who exist among men, speaking as follows—

1. Are not the Scythians of men the wisest?
2. Who when their children are first born do give them
3. The milk of mares and cows to drink at once,
4. And do not trust them to dishonest nurses,
5. Or tutors, who of evils are the worst,
6. Except the midwives only. For that class
7. Is worst of all, and next to them do come
8. The begging priests of mighty Cybele;
9. And it is hard to find a baser lot-
10. Unless indeed you speak of fishmongers,
11. But they are worse than even money-changers,
12. And are in fact the worst of all mankind.

And it was not without some wit that Diphilus, in his Merchant, speaks in this manner of fish being sold at an exorbitant price—

1. I never heard of dearer fish at any time.
2. Oh, Neptune, if you only got a tenth
3. Of all that money, you would be by far
4. The richest of the gods! And yet if he,
5. The fishmonger I mean, had been but civil,
6. I would have given him his price, though grumbling;
7. And, just as Priam ransom'd Hector, I
8. Would have put down his weight to buy the conger.

And Alexis says in his Grecian Woman—

1. Living and dead, the monsters of the deep
2. Are hostile to us always. If our ship
3. Be overturn'd, they then at once devour
4. Whatever of the crew they catch while swimming:
5. And if they're caught themselves by fishermen,
6. When dead they half undo their purchasers;
7. For with our whole estate they must be bought,
8. And the sad purchaser comes off a beggar.

And Archippus, in his play called the Fish, mentions one fishmonger by name, Hermæus the Egyptian, saying—

1. The cursedest of all fish-dealers is
2. Hermæus the Egyptian; who skins
3. And disembowels all the vilest fish,
4. And sells them for the choicest, as I hear.

And Alexis, in his Rich Heiress, mentions a certain fishmonger by name, Micio.

And perhaps it is natural for fishermen to be proud of their skill, even to a greater degree than the most skilful generals. Accordingly, Anaxandrides, in his Ulysses, introduces one of them, speaking in this way of the fisherman's art—

1. The beauteous handiwork of portrait painters
2. When in a picture seen is much admired;
3. But the fair fruit of our best skill is seen
4. In a rich dish just taken from the frying-pan.
5. For by what other art, my friend, do we
6. See young men's appetites so much inflamed?
7. What causes such outstretching of the hands
8. What is so apt to choke one, if a man.
9. Can hardly swallow it? Does not the fish-market
10. Alone give zest to banquets Who can spread
11. A dinner without fried fish, or anchovies,
12. Or high-priced mullet? With what words or charms
13. Can a well-favour'd youth be caught, if once
14. The fisherman's assistance be denied?
15. His art subdues him, bringing to the fish-kettle
16. The heads of well-boil'd fish; this leads him on
17. To doors which guard th' approach to a good dinner,
18. And bids him haste, though nought himself contributing.