Deipnosophistae

But Philoxenus, who was surnamed Pternocopis, when it happened to be mentioned that thrushes were very dear, and that too while Corydus was present, who was said formerly to have prostituted himself—

I,

can recollect when a lark (κόρυδος) only cost an obol.

1. Bring, O light dust, the conqueror's ivy wreath
2. To Machon, who shall live beyond the tomb,
3. Machon the comic poet; for you hold
4. No dirty drone, but you embrace at last
5. A worthy relic of antique renown
6. These words from the old bard himself might flow,
7. City of Cecrops; even by the Nile
8. Is found at times a plant to all the Muses dear.

1. A messmate once ask'd Eucrates (Corydus)
2. On what terms he and Ptolemy did stand.
3. I'm sure, said he, I cannot tell myself:
4. For oft he drenches me like any doctor;
5. But never gives me solid food to eat.

But Alexis, in his Trophonius, mentions a certain Moschion, a parasite, calling him

a messmate of every one,

1. Then comes Moschion,
2. Who bears the name of messmate in the world.

1. A. First then there was Callimedon the crab;
2. Then Cobion, and Corydus, and Cyrebion,
3. Scombrus and Semidalis.
4. B. Hercules!
5. This is a list of dishes, not of guests.[*](The preceding names are the names of eatables, in the genitive case, though here used as nominatives, for persons; κώβιον means a sort of tench; κόρυδος (as has been said before), a lark; κυρήβια are husks, bran; σκόμβρος is the generic name for the tunny fish; σεμίδαλις is fine wheat flour, semilago.)

1. For ye are always mocking one another;
2. I know it well. And if a man be handsome
3. You call him Holy Marriage . . . .
4. If a man be a perfect dwarf, a mannikin,
5. You call him Drop. Is any one a dandy?
6. He is called Ololus; you know an instance.
7. Does a man walk about all fat and heavy,
8. Like Democles? you call him Gravy Soup.
9. Does any one love dirt? his name is Dust.
10. Does any one bedaub his friends with flattery?
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11. They call him Dingey. Does one want a supper?
12. He is the fasting Cestrinus; and if
13. One casts one's eye upon a handsome youth,
14. They dub one Ceenus, or The Manager.
15. Does one in joke convey a lamb away?
16. They call one Atreus: or a ram? then Phrixus:
17. Or if you take a fleece, they name you Jason.

And he mentions Chærephon the parasite in the passage which precedes this. But Menander mentions him likewise in the Cecryphalus: and in his Anger he says—

1. The man does not differ the least from Chærephon,
2. Whoever he may be. He once was ask'd to supper
3. At four o'clock, and so he early rose,
4. And measuring the shadow on the dial
5. By the moon's light, he started off and came
6. To eat his supper at the break of day.

1. That witty fellow Chærephon delay'd me,
2. Saying that he should make a marriage feast
3. The twenty-second of the month, that then
4. He might dine with his friends the twenty-fourth,
5. For that the goddess's affairs were prospering.

1. But Demotion was one who spared for nothing,
2. Thinking his money never could run dry,
3. But dinners gave to all who liked to come.
4. And Chærephon, that wretchedest of men,
5. Treated his house as though it were his own.
6. And yet is not this a most shameful thing,
7. To take a branded slave for a parasite
8. For he's a perfect clown, and not in want.

1. Let us go now to sup, just as we are,
2. Bearing our torches and our garlands with us;
3. 'Twas thus that Chærephon, when supperless,
4. Used to manœuvre for an invitation.

1. Let us start off to go to supper now,
2. 'Tis one of twenty covers as he told me;
3. Though Chærephon perhaps may add himself.

And Apollodorus the Carystian, in his Priestess, says—

1. They say that Chærephon all uninvited
2. Came to the wedding feast of Ophelas,
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3. Thrusting himself in in unheard-of fashion.
4. For carrying a basket and a garland
5. When it was dark, he said that he had come
6. By order of the bride, bringing some birds,
7. And on this pretext he did get his supper.

1. I Mars invoke, and mighty Victory,
2. To favour this my expedition.
3. I also call on Chærephon—but then
4. He's sure to come, e'en if I call him not.

1. Once Chærephon a lengthen'd journey took
2. Out of the city to a wedding feast,
3. And on his way met Diphilus the poet,
4. Who greeted him—"Take my advice, O Cheerephon,
5. And fasten four stout nails to your two cheeks;
6. Lest, while you shake your head in your long journey,
7. You should put both your jaws quite out of joint.

1. Chærephon once was purchasing some meat,
2. And when the butcher was by chance, he says,
3. Cutting him out a joint with too much bone,
4. He said, O butcher, don't weigh me that bone.
5. Says he, The meat is sweet, indeed men say
6. The meat is always sweetest near the bone.
7. But Chærephon replied, It may be sweet,
8. But still it weighs much heavier than I like.

Those who have written about feasts:—Chærephon in his Cyrebion;

Since you have often written to me;

Machon also mentions Archephon the parasie, and says—

1. There was a parasite named Archephon,
2. Who, having sail'd from Attica to Egypt,
3. Was ask'd by Ptolemy the king to supper.
4. Then many kinds of fish which cling to rocks
5. Were served up, genuine crabs, and dainty limpets;
6. And last of all appear'd a large round dish
7. With three boil'd tench of mighty size, at which
8. The guests all marvell'd; and this Archephon
9. Ate of the char, and mackerel, and mullets,
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10. Till he could eat no longer; when he never
11. Had tasted anything before more tender
12. Than sprats and worthless smelts from the Phalerum;
13. But from the tench he carefully abstain'd.
14. And this did seem a most amazing thing,
15. So that the king inquired of Alcenor,
16. Whether the man had overlook'd the tench.
17. The hunchback said; No, quite the contrary,
18. He was the first to see them, Ptolemy,
19. But still he will not touch them, for this fish
20. Is one he holds in awe; and he's afraid
21. And thinks it quite against his country's rules
22. That he, while bringing nothing to the feast,
23. Should dare to eat a fish which has a vote.

And Alexis in his Wine-Bibber introduces Stratius the parasite as grumbling at the man who gives him his dinner, and speaking thus—

1. I'd better be a parasite of Pegasus,
2. Or the Boreade, or whoever else
3. Is faster still, than thus to Demeas
4. Eteobutades, the son of Laches,
5. For he is not content to walk, but flies.

1. A. Oh Stratius, dost thou love me?
2. B. Aye, I do
3. More than my father, for he does not feed me;
4. But you do give the best of dinners daily.
5. A. And do you pray the gods that I may live
6. B. No doubt I do; for how should I myself
7. Live if misfortune happen'd unto you?

1. They cannot now make the excuse of wine,
2. As Gryllion was always used to do.

He is a jaw worthy of Menander.

And that it was a custom for the officers called gynæconomi[*](We know little more of the gynæconomi, or γυναικόκοσμοι as they were also called, than what is derived from this passage. It appears probable that they existed from the time of Solon; though the duties here attributed to them may not have formed a part of their original business. Vide Smith, Diet. Ant. in voc.) to superintend the banquets, and to examine into the number of those who had been invited, and see whether it was in accordance with the law, we may learn from Timocles in his Litigious Man, where he says—

1. Open the doors at once, that we may be
2. More in the light against the gynæconomus
3. Shall enter and begin to count the guests,
4. As he is bound to do by this new law,
5. A marvellous statute. It were better far
6. That he should ask who are without a dinner.

1. Knowing that by some new law lately passed,
2. The cooks who minister at marriage feasts
3. Have given in their names and are enroll'd
4. In the books of the gynæconomi,
5. So that they may the number learn of those
6. Who are invited, lest a man should feast
7. More than the legal number.

And Lynceus records the following sayings of Corydus:—

Once when a courtesan whose name was Gnome was supping with Corydus, the wine ran short, on which he desired every one to contribute two obols; and said that Gnome should contribute whatever the people thought fit. And once when Polyctor the harp-player was eating lentil porridge, and had got a stone between his teeth, ' O you unhappy man!' said Corydus, 'even a lentil strikes you. '

1. It seems that once a wretched harp-player,
2. Being about to build himself a house,
3. Begg'd of a friend to lend him a few stones;
4. And many more will I repay, he said,
5. When I've display'd my art to all the people.

That is very wrong,

for even Hercules went from Omphale to Hebe.

O Ptolemy,

am I drunk, or am I right in thinking that these dishes are carried round

No, nor stand what is put into the wine either.

O Chærephon,

you are just like a bottle, so that we can see how nearly full you are.

This man,

who calls other men hard drinkers, has himself swallowed a large cup.

that he had not brought loaves, but the shades of loaves.

And Philoxenus the parasite, who was surnamed Pternocopis, once was dining with Python, and olives (ἐλάαι) were put on the table, and after a little while a dish of fish was brought; and he, striking the dish, said—

1. μάστιξεν δʼ ἐλαᾷν.

Do not give me too many, lest you should darken the room.

That the man who lived with the old woman fared in exactly the contrary manner to the old woman her-

v.1.p.387

self; for that he was always large.

1. They say that Moschion the water drinker
2. Once, when he was with friends in the Lyceum,
3. Seeing a parasite who was used to live
4. Upon a rich old woman, said to him,
5. "My friend, your fate is truly marvellous;
6. For your old dame does give you a big belly."

1. Nothing is strange henceforth, she brings forth nothing,
2. But the man daily doth become big-bellied.

And Posidonius of Apamea, in the twenty-third book of his histories, says, "The Celtæ, even when they make war, take about with them companions to dine with them, whom they call parasites. And these men celebrate their praises before large companies assembled together, and also to private individuals who are willing to listen to them: they have also a description of people called Bards, who make them music; and these are poets, who recite their praises with songs. And in his thirty-fourth book, the same writer speaks of a man whose name was Apollonius, as having been the parasite of Antiochus surnamed Grypus, king of Syria. And Aristodemus relates that Bithys, the parasite of king Lysimachus, once, when Lysimachus threw a wooden figure of a scorpion on his cloak, leaped up in a great fright; but presently, when he perceived the truth, he said,

I, too, will frighten you, O king!—give me a talent.

And Timocles has spoken in general terms of parasites in his Boxer, when he calls them ἐπισίτιοι, in these words—

1. You will find here some of the parasites (ἐπισίτιοι)
2. Who eat at other men's tables till they burst,
3. That you might say they give themselves to athletes
4. To act as quintain sacks.

1. A. But you, my friend Smicythion, will not
2. Get your food (ἐπισιτίζομαι) quicker.
3. B. Who, I pray, is this?
4. A. I bring this greedy stranger everywhere,
5. As if he were my hired slave or soldier.

And the ἐπισίτιοι do these things, who do not, as others do, receive any wages in addition to their food.

1. For if you prosecute one wicked man,
2. Twelve ἐπισίτιοι will come against you,
3. And so defeat you by their evidence.

1. He wishes to remain an ἐπισίτιος
2. Among them, and will never ask for wages.

And Diphilus, in his Synoris (and Synoris is the name of a courtesan), mentioning Euripides (and Euripides is the name given to a particular throw on the dice), and punning on the name of the poet, says this at the same time about parasites:—

1. A. You have escaped well from such a throw.
2. S. You are right witty.
3. A. Well, lay down your drachma.
4. S. That has been done: how shall I throw Euripides?
5. A. Euripides will never save a woman.
6. See you not how he hates them in his tragedies?
7. But he has always fancied parasites,
8. And thus he speaks, you'll easily find the place:
9. "For every rich man who does not feed
10. At least three men who give no contribution,
11. Exile deserves and everlasting ruin."
12. S. Where is that passage?
13. A. What is that to you
14. 'Tis not the play, but the intent that signifies.

1. Is then the parasite angry? is he furious?
2. Not he; he only smears with gall the table,
3. And weans himself like any child from milk.

1. A. Then you may eat, O parasite.
2. B. Just see
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3. How he disparages that useful skill.
4. A. Well, know you not that all men rank a parasite
5. Below a harp-player

1. A surly man should never be a parasite.

And Menander, in his Passion, speaking of a friend who had refused an invitation to a marriage feast, says—

1. This is to be a real friend; not one
2. Who asks, What time is dinner? as the rest do.
3. And, Why should we not all at once sit down?
4. And fishes for another invitation
5. To-morrow and next day, and then again
6. Asks if there's not a funeral feast to follow.

1. I being abstinent cannot endure
2. Such things as these.

But there are many other kindred nouns to the noun παράσιτος: there is ἐπίσιτος, which has already been mentioned; and οἰκόσιτος, and σιτόκουρος, and αὐτόσιτος; and besides these, there is κακόσιτος and ὀλιγόσιτος: and Anaxandrides uses the word οἰκόσιτος in his Huntsmen—

1. A son who feeds at home (οἰκόσιτος) is a great comfort.

1. The οἰκόσιτος quickly doth become
2. A regular attendant at th' assembly.

1. We found a bridegroom willing to keep house (οἰκόσιτος)
2. At his own charges, for no dowry seeking.

1. You do not get your hearers there for nothing (οἰκοσίτους).

Crates uses the word ἐπισίτιος in his Deeds of Daring, saying—

1. He feeds his messmate (ἐπισίτιον) while he shivers thus
2. In Megabyzus' house, and he will have
3. Food for his wages.

1. It is a well-bred custom not to assemble
2. A crowd of women, nor to feast a multitude;
3. But to make a domestic (οἰκοσίτους) wedding feast.

1. You will be but a walking bread-devourer (σιτόκουρος)

1. A lazy ever-procrastinating fellow,
2. A σιτόκουρος, miserable, useless,
3. Owning himself a burden on the earth.

1. Wretch, you were standing at the door the while,
2. Having laid down your burden; while, for us,
3. We took the wretched σιτόκουρος in.

1. A parasite αὐτόσιτος, feeding himself,
2. You do contribute much to aid your master.

1. Sleep nourishes him since he's no appetite (κακόσιτος).

1. What does that sparing eater (ὀλιγόσιτος) Hercules there?

1. How sparingly you eat, who in one day
2. Swallow the food of an entire trireme.

When Plutarch had said all this about parasites, Democritus, taking up the discourse, said, And I myself, 'like wood well-glued to wood,' as the Theban poet has it, will say a word about flatterers.

1. For of all men the flatterer fares best,

Cleisophus, the parasite of Philip, when Philip rebuked him for being continually asking for something, replied, 'I am very forgetful.' Afterwards, when Philip had given him a wounded horse, he sold him; and when, after a time, the king

v.1.p.391

asked him what had become of him, he answered, ' He was sold by that wound of his.' And when Philip laughed at him, and took it good-humouredly, he said, 'Is it not then worth my while to keep you?'

When Philip the king said that writings had been brought to him from Cotys, king of Thrace, Cleisophus, who was present, said, 'It is well, by the gods.' And when Philip said, But what do you know of the subjects mentioned in these writings?' he said, 'By the great Jupiter, you have reproved me with admirable judgment.'

But Satyrus, in his Life of Philip, says,

When Philip lost his eye, Cleisophus came forth with him, with bandages on the same eye as the king; and again, when his leg was hurt, he came out limping, along with the king. And if ever Philip ate any harsh or sour food, he would contract his features, as if he, too, had the same taste in his mouth. But in the country of the Arabs they used to do these things, not out of flattery, but in obedience to some law; so that whenever the king had anything the matter with any one of his limbs, the courtiers pretended to be suffering the same inconvenience: for they think it ridiculous to be willing to be buried with him when he dies, but not to pay him the compliment of appearing to be subject to the same sufferings as he is while alive, if he sustains any injury.

And the king has them as companions, to live with him and to die with him; as that is the vow which they all take. In return for which, they also share his power, and wear the same dress, and eat the same food; and they die when he dies, as a matter of absolute necessity, if the king dies of any disease; or if he dies in war, or in any other manner. And no one can even say that any of them has shown any fear of death, or has in the least sought to evade it when the king is dead.

But Theopompus says, in the forty-fourth book of his

1. Until I meet with men who know not Philip.

When Alexander complained of being bitten by the flies and was eagerly brushing them off, a man of the name of Nicesias, one of his flatterers who happened to be present, said, —Beyond all doubt those flies will be far superior to all other flies, now that they have tasted your blood.

His son also, the second Dionysius, had numerous flatterers, who were called by the common people Dionysiocolaces. And they, because Dionysius himself was not very sharp sighted, used to pretend while at supper not to be able to see very far, but they would touch whatever was near them as if they could not see it, until Dionysius himself guided their hands to the dishes. And when Dionysius spat, they would often put out their own faces for him to spit upon: and then

But you would do me a great favour, O Dionysius, if you were to order any one of those who knows it to teach me the paean which you composed in honour of Aesculapius; for I hear that you have taken great pains with that.

And once, when some friends were invited to supper by Dionysius, Dionysius coming into the room, said,

O, my friends, letters have been sent to us from the generals who have been despatched to Naples;

By the gods, they have done well, O Dionysius.

But how do you know whether what they have written is in accordance with my expectation or the contrary?

By the gods, you have properly rebuked me, O Dionysius.

And Hegesander relates that Hiero the tyrant was

1. Detesting tables where there was too much pride (ὄγκος).

that everything else was common to all the Greeks; but that the Athenians were the only men who knew the road which leads to heaven.

Was it you, O Alexander, son of Jupiter, who caused this?

Not I; for I do not wish to be formidable, as you make me out; you also desire me to have brought to me at supper the heads of satraps and kings.

1. 'Tis ichor, such as flows from the blessed gods.

And Epicrates the Athenian, having gone on an embassy to the king, according to the statement of Hegesander, and having received many presents from him, was not ashamed to flatter the king openly and boldly, so as even to say that the best way was not to choose nine archons every year, but nine ambassadors to the king. But I wonder at the Athenians, how they allowed him to make such a speech without bringing him to trial, and yet fined Demades ten talents, because he thought Alexander a god; and they put Evagoras to death, because when he went as ambassador to the king he adored him. And Timon the Phliasian, in the third book of his Silli, says that Ariston the Chian, an acquaintance and pupil of Zeno the Citiean, was a flatterer

O king, what must we do when even you gods suffer in this manner?

What sort of gods? I a afraid rather we are hated by the gods.

But Euphantus, in the fourth book of his Histories, says that Callicrates was a flatterer of Ptolemy, the third king of Egypt, who was so subtle a flatterer that he not only bore an image of Ulysses on his seal, but that he also gave his children the names of Telegonus and Anticlea. And Polybius, in the thirteenth book of his Histories says that Heraclides the Tarentine was a flatterer of the Philip whose power was destroyed by the Romans; and that, it was he who overturned his whole kingdom. And in his fourteenth book, he says that Philo was a flatterer of Agathocles the son of Œnanthe, and the companion of the king Ptolemy Philopator. And Baton of Sinope relates, in his book bout the tyranny of Hieronymus, that Thraso, who was surnamed Carcharus, was the flatterer of Hieronymus the tyrant of Syracuse, saying that he every day used to drink a great quantity of unmixed wine. But another flatterer, by name Osis, caused Thraso to be put to death by Hieronymus; ad he persuaded Hieronymus himself to assume the diadem, and the purple and all the rest of the royal apparel, which Dionysius the tyrant was accustomed to wear. And Agatharchides, in the thirtieth book of his Histories, says—"Hæresippus the Spartanwas a man of no moderate iniquity, not even putting on any appearance of goodness; but having very persuasive flattering language, and being a very clever man at paying court to the rich as long as their fortune lasted. Such also was Heraclides the Maronite, the flatterer of Seuthes the king of the Thracians, who is mentioned by Xenophon in the seventh book of the Anabasis.