Deipnosophistae

And what sort of women those among the Greeks are who get drunk, Antiphanes tells us, in his Female Darter; where he says—

1. There is a certain neighbouring victualler,
2. And he, whenever I arrive, being thirsty,
3. Is th' only man who knows the proper way
4. In which to mix my wine; and makes it not
5. Too full of water, nor too strong and heady:
6. I recollect that once when I was drinking . . . .

And, in his Woman Initiated, (and it is women who are conversing,) he writes—

1. A. Would you now like, my dearest friend, to drink?
2. B. No doubt I should.
3. A. Well come, then, take a cup;
4. For they do say the first three cups one takes
5. All tend to th' honour of the heavenly gods.

And Alexis, in his Female Dancer, says—

1. A. But women are quite sure to be content
2. If they have only wine enough to drink.
3. B. But, by the heavenly twins, we now shall have
4. As much as we can wish; and it shall be
5. Sweet, and not griping,—rich, well-season'd wine,
6. Exceeding old.
7. A. I like this aged sphinx;
8. For hear how now she talks to me in riddles.

And so on. And, in his Jupiter the Mourner, he mentions a certain woman named Zopyra, and says—

1. Zopyra, that wine-cask.

Antiphanes, in his Female Bacchanalians— But since this now is not the case, I'm sure He is a wretched man who ever marries Except among the Scythians; for their country Is the sole land which does not bear the vine. And Xenarchus, in his Pentathlum, says—

1. I write a woman's oath in mighty wine.

Plato, in his Phaon, relating how many things happen to women because of wine, says—

1. Come now, ye women, long ago have I
2. Pray'd that this wine may thus become your folly;
3. For you don't think, as the old proverb goes,
4. That there is any wisdom at a vintner's.
5. For if you now desire to see Phaon,
6. You first must all these solemn rites perform.
7. First, as the nurse of youths, I must receive
8. A vigorous cheesecake, and a pregnant mealcake,
9. And sixteen thrushes whole, well smear'd with honey,
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10. Twelve hares, all taken when the moon was full;
11. But all the other things may be got cheaply.
12. Now listen. Three half-measures of fine onions;
13. These for Orthanna. For Conisalus
14. And his two mates, a plate of myrtleberries,
15. Pluck'd with the hand: for the great Gods above
16. Dislike the smell of lamps . . . . . . . .
17. . . . . . . . for the dogs and huntsmen.
18. A drachma for Lordon; for Cybdasus,
19. Three obols; for the mighty hero Celes,
20. Some hides and incense. Now if you bring
21. These things, you'll certainly obtain admittance;
22. But if you don't, you'll knock in vain, and long
23. In vain to enter, and get nothing by it.

And Axionicus says, in his Philinna—

1. Just trust a woman to drink only water.

And whole nations are mentioned as addicted to drunkenness. Accordingly, Bæton, the measurer of distances for Alexander, in his book which is entitled Stations of the March of Alexander, and Amyntas also, in his Stations, says that the nation of the Tapyri is so fond of wine that they never use any other unguent than that. And Ctesias tells the same story, in his book Concerning the Revenues in Asia. And he says that they are a most just people. And Harmodius of Lepreum, in his treatise on the Laws in force among the people of Phigalea, says that the Phigaleans are addicted to drinking, being neighbours of the Messenians, and being also a people much accustomed to travelling. And Phylarchus, in his sixth book, says that the Byzantians are so exceedingly fond of wine, that they live in the wine-shops and let out their own houses and their wives also to strangers: and that they cannot bear to hear the sound of a trumpet even in their sleep. On which account once, when they were attacked by the enemy, and could not endure the labour of defending their walls, Leonidas, their general, ordered the innkeepers' booths to be erected as tents upon the walls, and even then it was with difficulty that they were stopped from deserting, as Damon tells us, in his book on Byzantium. But Menander, in his play called the Woman carrying the Mysterious sacred Vessels of Minerva, or the Female Flute-player, says—

1. Byzantium makes all the merchants drunk.
2. On your account we drank the whole night long,
3. And right strong wine too, as it seems to me,—
4. At least I got up with four heads, I think.

And the Argives too are ridiculed by the comic poets as addicted to drunkenness; and so are the Tirynthians by Ephippus, in his Busiris. And he introduces Hercules as saying—

1. A. For how in the name of all the gods at once,
2. Do you not know me, the Tirynthian Argive?
3. That race fights all its battles when 'tis drunk.
4. B. And that is why they always run away.

And Eubulus, in his Man Glued, says that the Milesians are very insolent when they are drunk. And Polemo, in his treatise on the Inscriptions to be found in Cities, speaking of the Eleans, produces this epigram:—

1. Elis is always drunk, and always lying:
2. As is each single house, so is the city.

And Theopompus, in his twenty-second book, speaking of the Chalcidians in Thrace, says: "For they disregarded all the most excellent habits, rushing readily with great eagerness to drinking and laziness, and every sort of intemperance. And all the Thracians are addicted to drinking; on which account Callimachus says—

1. For he could hardly bear the Thracian way
2. Of drinking monstrous goblets at one draught;
3. And always did prefer a smaller cup."

And, in his fiftieth book, Theopompus makes this statement about the Methymnæans:

And they live on the more sumptuous kind of food, lying down and drinking—and never doing anything at all worthy of the expense that they went to. So Cleomenes the tyrant stopped all this; he who also ordered the female pimps, who were accustomed to seduce free-born women, and also three or four of the most nobly born of those who had been induced to prostitute themselves, to be sewn in sacks and thrown into the sea.

And Hermippus, in his account of the Seven Wise Men, says Periander did the same thing. But in the second book of his History of the Exploits of Philip he says,

The Illyrians both eat and drink in a sitting posture; and they take their wives to their entertainments; and it is reckoned a decorous custom for the women to pledge the guests who are present. And they lead home their husbands from their drinking parties; and they all live plainly, and when they drink, they girdle their s stomach with broad girdles, and at first they do so moderately; but when they drink more vehemently, then they keep contracting

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their belt. And the Ariæans,

says he,

have three hundred thousand slaves whom they call prospelatæ, and who correspond to the Helots; and they get drunk every day, and make large entertainments, and are very intemperate in their eating and drinking. On which account the Celtæ when making war upon them, knowing their intemperance, ordered all the soldiers to prepare as superb a feast as possible in the tent, and to put in the food some medicinal herbs which had the power to gripe and purge the bowels exceedingly. And when this had been done . . . .And so some of them were taken by the Celtæ and put to death, and some threw themselves into the rivers, being unable to endure the pains which they were suffering in their stomachs.

Now, after Democritus had uttered all this long uninterrupted discourse, Pontianus said that wine was the metropolis of all these evils; and it was owing to this that drunkenness, and madness, and all sorts of debauchery took place; and that those people who were too much addicted to it were not unappropriately called rowers of cups, by that Dionysius who is surnamed the Brazen, in his Elegies, where he says—

1. And those who bring their wine in Bacchus' rowing,
2. Sailors through feasts, and rowers of large cups.

And concerning this class of men, (for it is not extinct,) Alexis, in his Curia, speaking of some one who drunk to excess, says—

1. This then my son is such in disposition
2. As you have just beheld him. An Œnopion,
3. Or Maron, or Capelus, or Timoclees,
4. For he's a drunkard, nothing more nor less.
5. And for the other, what can I call him?
6. A lump of earth, a plough, an earth-born man.

So getting drunk is a bad thing, my good friends; and the same Alexis says, with great cleverness, to those who swallow wine in this way, in his Opora, (and the play is called after a courtesan of that name,)—

1. Are you then full of such a quantity
2. Of unmix'd wine, and yet avoid to vomit?

And in his Ring he says—

1. Is not, then, drunkenness the greatest evil,
2. And most injurious to the human race?

And in his Steward he says—

1. For much wine is the cause of many crimes.

And Crobylus, in his Female Deserter, says—

1. What pleasure, prithee tell me, can there be
2. In getting always drunk? in, while still living,
3. Yourself depriving thus of all your senses;
4. The greatest good which nature e'er has given?

Therefore it is not right to get drunk; for

A city which has been governed by a democracy,

says Plato, in the eighth book of his Polity,

when it has thirsted for freedom, if it meets with bad cupbearers to help it, and if, drinking of the desired draught too deeply, it becomes intoxicated, then punishes its magistrates if they are not very gentle indeed, and if they do not allow it a great deal of licence, blaming them as wicked and oligarchical; and those people who obey the magistrates it insults.

And, in the sixth book of his Laws, he says—

A city ought to be like a well-mixed goblet, in which the wine which is poured in rages; but being restrained by the opposite and sober deity, enters into a good partnership with it, and so produces a good and moderate drink.

For profligate debauchery is engendered by drunkenness. On which account Antiphanes, in his Arcadia, says—

1. For it, O father, never can become
2. A sober man to seek debauchery,
3. Nor yet to serious cares to give his mind,
4. When it is rather time to drink and feast.
5. But he that cherishes superhuman thoughts,
6. Trusting to small and miserable riches,
7. Shall at some future time himself discover
8. That he is only like his fellow-men,
9. If he looks, like a doctor, at the tokens,
10. And sees which way his veins go, up or down,
11. On which the life of mortal man depends.

And, in his Aeolus, mentioning with indignation the evil deeds which those who are great drinkers do, he says—

1. Macareus, when smitten with unholy love
2. For one of his own sisters, for a while
3. Repress'd the evil thought, and check'd himself;
4. But after some short time he wine admitted
5. To be his general, under whose sole lead
6. Audacity takes the place of prudent counsel,
7. And so by night his purpose he accomplish'd.

And well, therefore, did Aristophanes term wine the milk of Venus, saying—

1. And wine, the milk of Venus, sweet to drink;

because men, after having drunk too much of it, have often conceived a desire for illicit amours.

But Hegesander the Delphian speaks of some men as ἔξοινοι; by which term he means, overtaken with wine; speaking thus:—

Comeon and Rhodophon being two of the ministers who managed the affairs of Rhodes, were both drunk; and Comeon attacking Rhodophon as a gambler, said—

1. O you old man, the crew of youthful gamblers
2. Beyond a doubt are pressing hard upon you.

And Rhodophon reproached him with his passion for women, and with his incontinence, abstaining from no sort of abuse.

And Theopompus, in the sixteenth book of his Histories, speaking of another Rhodian, says—

When Hegesilochus had become perfectly useless, partly from drunkenness and gambling, and when he had utterly lost all credit among the Rhodians, and when instead his whole course of life was found fault with by his own companions and by the rest of the citizens.

. . . .Then he goes on to speak of the oligarchy which he established with his friends, saying—

And they violated a great number of nobly-born women, wives of the first men in the state; and they corrupted no small number of boys and young men; and they carried their profligacy to such a height that they even ventured to play with one another at dice for the free-born women, and they made a bargain which of the nobly-born matrons he who threw the lowest number on the dice should bring to the winner for the purpose of being ravished; allowing no exception at all; but the loser was bound to bring her to the place appointed, in whatever way he could, using persuasion, or even force if that was necessary. And some of the other Rhodians also played at dice in this fashion; but the most frequent and open of all the players in this way was Hegesilochus, who aspired to become the governor of the city.

And Antheas the Lindian, who claimed to be considered a relation of Cleobulus the philosopher, as Philodemus reports, in his treatise on the Sminthians in Rhodes, being an oldish man, and very rich, and being also an accomplished poet,

celebrated the festivals in honour of Bacchus all his life, wearing a dress such as is worn by the votaries of Bacchus, and maintaining a troop of fellow-revellers. An he was constantly leading revels both day and night; and he was the first man who invented that. kind of poetry which depends upon compound words, which Asopodorus the Phliasian afterwards employed in his conversational Iambics. And he too used to write comedies and many other pieces in the same style of poetry, which he used to recite to his phallus-bearers.

When Ulpian had heard all this he said,—Tell me, my good Pontianus, says he, in what author does the word πάροινος occur? And he replied—

1. You will undo me with your questions..

(as the excellent Agatho says)—

1. . . . . and your new fashion,
2. Always talking at an unseasonable time.

But since it is decided that we are to be responsible to you for every word, Antiphanes, in his Lydian, has said—

1. A Colchian man drunken and quarrelsome (πάροινος).

But you are not yet satisfied about your πάροινοι, and drunkards; nor do you consider that Eumenes the king of Pergamus, the nephew of Philetærus, who had formerly been king of Pergamus, died of drunkenness, as Ctesicles relates, in the third book of his Times. But, however, Perseus, whose power was put down by the Romans, did not die in that way; for he did not imitate his father Philip in anything; for he was not eager about women, nor was he fond of wine; but when at a feast he was not only moderate himself, but all his friends who were with him were so too, as Polybius relates, in his twenty-sixth book. But you, O Ulpian, are a most immoderate drinker yourself (ἀῤῥυθμοπότης), as Timon te Phliasian calls it. For so he called those men who drink a great quantity of unmixed wine, in the second book of his Silli—

1. Or that great ox-goad, harder than Lycurgus's,
2. Who smote the ἀῤῥυθμόποται of Bacchus,
3. And threw their cups and brimming ladles down.

For I do not call you simply ποτικὸς, or fond of drinking; and this last is a word which Alæus has used, in his Ganymede. And that a habit of getting drunk deceives our eyesight, Anacharsis has shown plainly enough, in what he says here he shows that mistaken opinions are taken up by drunken men. For a fellow-drinker of his once, seeing his wife at a banquet, said,

Anacharsis, you have married an ugly woman.

And he replied,

Indeed I think so too, but however now, give me, O boy, a cup of stronger wine, that I may make her out beautiful.