Deipnosophistae

And in the thirty-first book of his Histories, the same Polybius tells us

that when Antiochus was celebrating some public games at Antioch, he invited all the Greeks and any of the multitude who chose to come to the spectacle. And when a great many people came, he anointed them all in the gymnasia with ointment of saffron, and cinnamon, and nard, and amaracus, and lilies, out of golden vessels: and then, inviting them all to a feast, he filled sometimes a thousand and sometimes fifteen hundred triclinia with the most

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expensive preparations; and he himself personally attended to waiting on the guests. For, standing at the entrance, he introduced some, and others he placed upon the couches; and he himself marshalled the servants who brought in the different courses; and, walking about among the guests, at times he sat down in one place, and at times he lay down in another. And sometimes he would put down what he was eating, and at other times he would lay down his cup, and jump up, and change his place, and go all round the party, standing up himself, and pledging different people at different times; and then, mingling with the musicians, he would be brought in by the actors, entirely covered up, and laid down on the ground, as if he had been one of the actors himself; and then, when the music gave the signal, the king would leap up, and dance and sport among the actors, so that they were all ashamed. To such absurdities does a want of education, when joined with drunkenness, reduce miserable men.

And his namesake, the Antiochus who carried on war in Media against Arsaces, was very fond of drinking; as Posidonius of Apamea relates in the sixteenth book of his History. Accordingly, when he was slain, he says that Arsaces, when he buried him, said—Your courage and your drunkenness have ruined you, O Antiochus; for you hoped that, in your great cups, you would be able to drink up the kingdom of Arsaces."

But the Antiochus who was surnamed the Great, who was subdued by the Romans (as Polybius relates in his twentieth book), having arrived at Chalcis, in Euboea, celebrated a marriage when he was fifty years of age; and after he had undertaken two most enormous and important affairs, namely, the liberation of the Greeks (as he himself professed) and the war against the Romans. At all events, he, being smitten with love for a damsel of Chalcis, was very anxious to marry her at the very time that he was engaged in this war, being a man very fond of drinking and delighting in drunkenness. And she was the daughter of Cleophanes, one of the nobles, and superior to all the maidens of her country in beauty. Accordingly, he celebrated his marriage in Chalcis, and remained there all the winter, not once giving the smallest thought to the important affairs which he had in hand. And he gave the damsel the name of Eubœa. Accordingly, being defeated

in the war, he fled to Ephesus, with his newly-married bride. And in the second book, the same Polybius relates that Agron, the king of the Illyrians, being delighted at having gained a victory over the haughty Aetolians, being a man much addicted to drinking, and to drunkenness, and banqueting, fell ill of a pleurisy, and died. And the same historian says, in his twenty-ninth book, that Genthion, the king of the Illyrians, on account of his great fondness for drinking, did a great many intemperate things during his life, being incessantly drunk, both night and day; and having murdered Pleuratus, his brother, who was about to marry the daughter of Menunius, he married the damsel himself, and treated his subjects with great cruelty. And he says, in the thirty-third book of his History, that Demetrius, when he fled after having been a hostage at Rome, and became king of the Syrians, became a great drinker, and was drunk the greater part of the day. And he also, in his thirty-second book, says that Orophernes, who was for a short time king of Cappadocia, disregarded all the customs of his country, and introduced the artificial luxury of the Ionians.

On which account, that divinest of writers, Plato, lays down admirable laws in his second book—

That boys, till they are eighteen years of age, should absolutely never taste wine at all; for that it is not well to heap fire on fire: that men up to thirty years of age may drink wine in moderation; and that the young man should wholly abstain from much wine and from drunkenness. But that a man, when he arrives at forty years of age, may feast in large banquets, and invoke the other gods, and especially Bacchus, to the feasts and amusements of the older men; since he it is who has given men this means of indulgence, as an ally against the austerity of old age, for which wine was the best medicine; so that, owing to it, we grow young again, and forget our moroseness.

And then he proceeds to say—

But there is a report and story told that this god was once deprived of his mind and senses by his mother-in-law, Juno; on which account he sent Bacchic frenzy, and all sorts of frantic rage, among men, out of revenge for the treatment which he had experienced; on which account also he gave wine to men.

But Phalæcus, in his Epigrams, makes mention of a woman, whose name was Cleo, as having been a very hard drinker—

1. Cleo bestow'd this splendid gift on Bacchus,
2. The tunic, fringed with gold and saffron hues,
3. Which long she wore herself; so great she was
4. At feasts and revelry: there was no man
5. Who could at all contend with her in drinking.

And it is a well-known fact that all the race of women is fond of drinking. And it was not without some wit that Xenarchus introduces, in his Pentathlum, a woman swearing this most horrible oath:—

1. May it be granted me to pass from life
2. Drinking abundant draughts of wine, while you,
3. My darling daughter, live and prosper here.

But among the Romans, as Polybius says, in his sixth book, it was forbidden to women to drink wine at all. However, they drink what is called Passum; and that is made of raisins, and when drank is very like the sweet Aegosthenite and Cretan wine, on which account men use it when oppressed by excessive thirst. And it is impossible for a woman to drink wine without being detected: for, first of all, she has not the key of the cellar; and, in the next place, she is bound to kiss her relations, and those of her husband, down to cousins, and to do this every day when she first sees them; and besides this, she is forced to be on her best behaviour, as it is quite uncertain whom she may chance to meet; for if she has merely tasted wine, it needs no informer, but is sure to betray itself."

And Alcimus the Sicilian, in that book of his which is entitled the Italian History, says that all the women in Italy avoid drinking wine on this account:

When Hercules was in the district of the Crotoniatæ, he one day was very thirsty, and came to a certain house by the wayside and asked for something to drink; and it happened that the wife of the master of the house had privily opened a cask of wine, and therefore she said to her husband that it would be a shameful thing for him to open this cask for a stranger; and so she bade him give Hercules some water. But Hercules, who was standing at the door, and heard all this, praised her husband very much, but advised him to go indoors himself and look at the cask. And when he had gone in, he found that the cask had become petrified. And this fact is proved by the conduct of the women of the country, among whom it is reckoned disgraceful, to this day, to drink wine, on account of the above-mentioned reason.

And what sort of women those among the Greeks are who get drunk, Antiphanes tells us, in his Female Darter; where he says—

1. There is a certain neighbouring victualler,
2. And he, whenever I arrive, being thirsty,
3. Is th' only man who knows the proper way
4. In which to mix my wine; and makes it not
5. Too full of water, nor too strong and heady:
6. I recollect that once when I was drinking . . . .

And, in his Woman Initiated, (and it is women who are conversing,) he writes—

1. A. Would you now like, my dearest friend, to drink?
2. B. No doubt I should.
3. A. Well come, then, take a cup;
4. For they do say the first three cups one takes
5. All tend to th' honour of the heavenly gods.

And Alexis, in his Female Dancer, says—

1. A. But women are quite sure to be content
2. If they have only wine enough to drink.
3. B. But, by the heavenly twins, we now shall have
4. As much as we can wish; and it shall be
5. Sweet, and not griping,—rich, well-season'd wine,
6. Exceeding old.
7. A. I like this aged sphinx;
8. For hear how now she talks to me in riddles.

And so on. And, in his Jupiter the Mourner, he mentions a certain woman named Zopyra, and says—

1. Zopyra, that wine-cask.

Antiphanes, in his Female Bacchanalians— But since this now is not the case, I'm sure He is a wretched man who ever marries Except among the Scythians; for their country Is the sole land which does not bear the vine. And Xenarchus, in his Pentathlum, says—

1. I write a woman's oath in mighty wine.

Plato, in his Phaon, relating how many things happen to women because of wine, says—

1. Come now, ye women, long ago have I
2. Pray'd that this wine may thus become your folly;
3. For you don't think, as the old proverb goes,
4. That there is any wisdom at a vintner's.
5. For if you now desire to see Phaon,
6. You first must all these solemn rites perform.
7. First, as the nurse of youths, I must receive
8. A vigorous cheesecake, and a pregnant mealcake,
9. And sixteen thrushes whole, well smear'd with honey,
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10. Twelve hares, all taken when the moon was full;
11. But all the other things may be got cheaply.
12. Now listen. Three half-measures of fine onions;
13. These for Orthanna. For Conisalus
14. And his two mates, a plate of myrtleberries,
15. Pluck'd with the hand: for the great Gods above
16. Dislike the smell of lamps . . . . . . . .
17. . . . . . . . for the dogs and huntsmen.
18. A drachma for Lordon; for Cybdasus,
19. Three obols; for the mighty hero Celes,
20. Some hides and incense. Now if you bring
21. These things, you'll certainly obtain admittance;
22. But if you don't, you'll knock in vain, and long
23. In vain to enter, and get nothing by it.

And Axionicus says, in his Philinna—

1. Just trust a woman to drink only water.

And whole nations are mentioned as addicted to drunkenness. Accordingly, Bæton, the measurer of distances for Alexander, in his book which is entitled Stations of the March of Alexander, and Amyntas also, in his Stations, says that the nation of the Tapyri is so fond of wine that they never use any other unguent than that. And Ctesias tells the same story, in his book Concerning the Revenues in Asia. And he says that they are a most just people. And Harmodius of Lepreum, in his treatise on the Laws in force among the people of Phigalea, says that the Phigaleans are addicted to drinking, being neighbours of the Messenians, and being also a people much accustomed to travelling. And Phylarchus, in his sixth book, says that the Byzantians are so exceedingly fond of wine, that they live in the wine-shops and let out their own houses and their wives also to strangers: and that they cannot bear to hear the sound of a trumpet even in their sleep. On which account once, when they were attacked by the enemy, and could not endure the labour of defending their walls, Leonidas, their general, ordered the innkeepers' booths to be erected as tents upon the walls, and even then it was with difficulty that they were stopped from deserting, as Damon tells us, in his book on Byzantium. But Menander, in his play called the Woman carrying the Mysterious sacred Vessels of Minerva, or the Female Flute-player, says—

1. Byzantium makes all the merchants drunk.
2. On your account we drank the whole night long,
3. And right strong wine too, as it seems to me,—
4. At least I got up with four heads, I think.

And the Argives too are ridiculed by the comic poets as addicted to drunkenness; and so are the Tirynthians by Ephippus, in his Busiris. And he introduces Hercules as saying—

1. A. For how in the name of all the gods at once,
2. Do you not know me, the Tirynthian Argive?
3. That race fights all its battles when 'tis drunk.
4. B. And that is why they always run away.

And Eubulus, in his Man Glued, says that the Milesians are very insolent when they are drunk. And Polemo, in his treatise on the Inscriptions to be found in Cities, speaking of the Eleans, produces this epigram:—

1. Elis is always drunk, and always lying:
2. As is each single house, so is the city.

And Theopompus, in his twenty-second book, speaking of the Chalcidians in Thrace, says: "For they disregarded all the most excellent habits, rushing readily with great eagerness to drinking and laziness, and every sort of intemperance. And all the Thracians are addicted to drinking; on which account Callimachus says—

1. For he could hardly bear the Thracian way
2. Of drinking monstrous goblets at one draught;
3. And always did prefer a smaller cup."

And, in his fiftieth book, Theopompus makes this statement about the Methymnæans:

And they live on the more sumptuous kind of food, lying down and drinking—and never doing anything at all worthy of the expense that they went to. So Cleomenes the tyrant stopped all this; he who also ordered the female pimps, who were accustomed to seduce free-born women, and also three or four of the most nobly born of those who had been induced to prostitute themselves, to be sewn in sacks and thrown into the sea.

And Hermippus, in his account of the Seven Wise Men, says Periander did the same thing. But in the second book of his History of the Exploits of Philip he says,

The Illyrians both eat and drink in a sitting posture; and they take their wives to their entertainments; and it is reckoned a decorous custom for the women to pledge the guests who are present. And they lead home their husbands from their drinking parties; and they all live plainly, and when they drink, they girdle their s stomach with broad girdles, and at first they do so moderately; but when they drink more vehemently, then they keep contracting

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their belt. And the Ariæans,

says he,

have three hundred thousand slaves whom they call prospelatæ, and who correspond to the Helots; and they get drunk every day, and make large entertainments, and are very intemperate in their eating and drinking. On which account the Celtæ when making war upon them, knowing their intemperance, ordered all the soldiers to prepare as superb a feast as possible in the tent, and to put in the food some medicinal herbs which had the power to gripe and purge the bowels exceedingly. And when this had been done . . . .And so some of them were taken by the Celtæ and put to death, and some threw themselves into the rivers, being unable to endure the pains which they were suffering in their stomachs.

Now, after Democritus had uttered all this long uninterrupted discourse, Pontianus said that wine was the metropolis of all these evils; and it was owing to this that drunkenness, and madness, and all sorts of debauchery took place; and that those people who were too much addicted to it were not unappropriately called rowers of cups, by that Dionysius who is surnamed the Brazen, in his Elegies, where he says—

1. And those who bring their wine in Bacchus' rowing,
2. Sailors through feasts, and rowers of large cups.

And concerning this class of men, (for it is not extinct,) Alexis, in his Curia, speaking of some one who drunk to excess, says—

1. This then my son is such in disposition
2. As you have just beheld him. An Œnopion,
3. Or Maron, or Capelus, or Timoclees,
4. For he's a drunkard, nothing more nor less.
5. And for the other, what can I call him?
6. A lump of earth, a plough, an earth-born man.

So getting drunk is a bad thing, my good friends; and the same Alexis says, with great cleverness, to those who swallow wine in this way, in his Opora, (and the play is called after a courtesan of that name,)—

1. Are you then full of such a quantity
2. Of unmix'd wine, and yet avoid to vomit?

And in his Ring he says—

1. Is not, then, drunkenness the greatest evil,
2. And most injurious to the human race?

And in his Steward he says—

1. For much wine is the cause of many crimes.

And Crobylus, in his Female Deserter, says—

1. What pleasure, prithee tell me, can there be
2. In getting always drunk? in, while still living,
3. Yourself depriving thus of all your senses;
4. The greatest good which nature e'er has given?

Therefore it is not right to get drunk; for

A city which has been governed by a democracy,

says Plato, in the eighth book of his Polity,

when it has thirsted for freedom, if it meets with bad cupbearers to help it, and if, drinking of the desired draught too deeply, it becomes intoxicated, then punishes its magistrates if they are not very gentle indeed, and if they do not allow it a great deal of licence, blaming them as wicked and oligarchical; and those people who obey the magistrates it insults.

And, in the sixth book of his Laws, he says—

A city ought to be like a well-mixed goblet, in which the wine which is poured in rages; but being restrained by the opposite and sober deity, enters into a good partnership with it, and so produces a good and moderate drink.