Deipnosophistae

But Philoxenus, who was surnamed Pternocopis, when it happened to be mentioned that thrushes were very dear, and that too while Corydus was present, who was said formerly to have prostituted himself—

I,

said he,

can recollect when a lark (κόρυδος) only cost an obol.

(And Philoxenus too was a parasite, as Axionicus has stated in his Chalcidian. But the statement is thoroughly proved.) Menander too mentions him in his Cecryphalus, calling him Pternocopis only. And Machon the comic writer mentions him.—But Machon was either a Corinthian or Sicyonian by birth, living, however, in my own city of Alexandria; and he was the tutor of Aristophanes the grammarian, as far as comedy went. And he died in Alexandria, and an inscription to the following effect is placed upon his tomb—

1. Bring, O light dust, the conqueror's ivy wreath
2. To Machon, who shall live beyond the tomb,
3. Machon the comic poet; for you hold
4. No dirty drone, but you embrace at last
5. A worthy relic of antique renown
6. These words from the old bard himself might flow,
7. City of Cecrops; even by the Nile
8. Is found at times a plant to all the Muses dear.

And surely this is equivalent to a statement that he was an Alexandrian by birth. However that may be, Machon mentions Corydus in these terms—

1. A messmate once ask'd Eucrates (Corydus)
2. On what terms he and Ptolemy did stand.
3. I'm sure, said he, I cannot tell myself:
4. For oft he drenches me like any doctor;
5. But never gives me solid food to eat.

And Lynceus, in the second book of his treatise on Menander, says the men who got a reputation for saying witty things were Euclides the son of Smicrinus, and Philoxenus called Pternocopis. And of them Euclides did at times say apophthegms not unworthy of being written down and recollected but in all other matters he was cold and disagreeable. Bt Philoxenus did not particularly excel in short curt sayings, but still whatever he said, whether in the way of gossip, or of a bitter attack on any of his companions, or of relation of occurrences, was full of pleasant and witty conversation. And yet it happened that Euclides was not very popular, but that Philoxenus was loved and respected by every one.

But Alexis, in his Trophonius, mentions a certain Moschion, a parasite, calling him

a messmate of every one,

and saying—

1. Then comes Moschion,
2. Who bears the name of messmate in the world.

And in his Pancratiast, Alexis, giving a regular catalogue of the dinner hunters, says—

1. A. First then there was Callimedon the crab;
2. Then Cobion, and Corydus, and Cyrebion,
3. Scombrus and Semidalis.
4. B. Hercules!
5. This is a list of dishes, not of guests.[*](The preceding names are the names of eatables, in the genitive case, though here used as nominatives, for persons; κώβιον means a sort of tench; κόρυδος (as has been said before), a lark; κυρήβια are husks, bran; σκόμβρος is the generic name for the tunny fish; σεμίδαλις is fine wheat flour, semilago.)

But Epicrates was nicknamed Cyrebion, and he was the son-in-law of Aeschines the orator, as Demosthenes tells us in the oration about the False Embassy. And Anaxandrides, in his Ulysses, mentions such epithets as these, which the Athenians used to affix to people out of joke; saying—

1. For ye are always mocking one another;
2. I know it well. And if a man be handsome
3. You call him Holy Marriage . . . .
4. If a man be a perfect dwarf, a mannikin,
5. You call him Drop. Is any one a dandy?
6. He is called Ololus; you know an instance.
7. Does a man walk about all fat and heavy,
8. Like Democles? you call him Gravy Soup.
9. Does any one love dirt? his name is Dust.
10. Does any one bedaub his friends with flattery?
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11. They call him Dingey. Does one want a supper?
12. He is the fasting Cestrinus; and if
13. One casts one's eye upon a handsome youth,
14. They dub one Ceenus, or The Manager.
15. Does one in joke convey a lamb away?
16. They call one Atreus: or a ram? then Phrixus:
17. Or if you take a fleece, they name you Jason.

And he mentions Chærephon the parasite in the passage which precedes this. But Menander mentions him likewise in the Cecryphalus: and in his Anger he says—

1. The man does not differ the least from Chærephon,
2. Whoever he may be. He once was ask'd to supper
3. At four o'clock, and so he early rose,
4. And measuring the shadow on the dial
5. By the moon's light, he started off and came
6. To eat his supper at the break of day.

And in his Drunkenness he says—

1. That witty fellow Chærephon delay'd me,
2. Saying that he should make a marriage feast
3. The twenty-second of the month, that then
4. He might dine with his friends the twenty-fourth,
5. For that the goddess's affairs were prospering.

And he mentions him also in his Man-woman, or the Cretan. But Timocles in his Letters mentions him especially as having attached himself as a parasite to Demotion, who was an intemperate man—

1. But Demotion was one who spared for nothing,
2. Thinking his money never could run dry,
3. But dinners gave to all who liked to come.
4. And Chærephon, that wretchedest of men,
5. Treated his house as though it were his own.
6. And yet is not this a most shameful thing,
7. To take a branded slave for a parasite
8. For he's a perfect clown, and not in want.

And Antiphanes says in his Scythian—

1. Let us go now to sup, just as we are,
2. Bearing our torches and our garlands with us;
3. 'Twas thus that Chærephon, when supperless,
4. Used to manœuvre for an invitation.

And Timotheus says in his Puppy—

1. Let us start off to go to supper now,
2. 'Tis one of twenty covers as he told me;
3. Though Chærephon perhaps may add himself.

And Apollodorus the Carystian, in his Priestess, says—

1. They say that Chærephon all uninvited
2. Came to the wedding feast of Ophelas,
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3. Thrusting himself in in unheard-of fashion.
4. For carrying a basket and a garland
5. When it was dark, he said that he had come
6. By order of the bride, bringing some birds,
7. And on this pretext he did get his supper.

And in his Murdered Woman he says—

1. I Mars invoke, and mighty Victory,
2. To favour this my expedition.
3. I also call on Chærephon—but then
4. He's sure to come, e'en if I call him not.

And Machon the comic writer says—

1. Once Chærephon a lengthen'd journey took
2. Out of the city to a wedding feast,
3. And on his way met Diphilus the poet,
4. Who greeted him—"Take my advice, O Cheerephon,
5. And fasten four stout nails to your two cheeks;
6. Lest, while you shake your head in your long journey,
7. You should put both your jaws quite out of joint.

And in another place he says—

1. Chærephon once was purchasing some meat,
2. And when the butcher was by chance, he says,
3. Cutting him out a joint with too much bone,
4. He said, O butcher, don't weigh me that bone.
5. Says he, The meat is sweet, indeed men say
6. The meat is always sweetest near the bone.
7. But Chærephon replied, It may be sweet,
8. But still it weighs much heavier than I like.

And Callimachus attributes to Chærephon a certain treatise, in the list which he gives entitled, A Catalogue of all sorts of Things. And he writes thus:—

Those who have written about feasts:—Chærephon in his Cyrebion;

and then he quotes the first sentence—

Since you have often written to me;

and says that the work consisted of three hundred and seventy-five lines. And that Cyrebion was a parasite has been already mentioned.

Machon also mentions Archephon the parasie, and says—

1. There was a parasite named Archephon,
2. Who, having sail'd from Attica to Egypt,
3. Was ask'd by Ptolemy the king to supper.
4. Then many kinds of fish which cling to rocks
5. Were served up, genuine crabs, and dainty limpets;
6. And last of all appear'd a large round dish
7. With three boil'd tench of mighty size, at which
8. The guests all marvell'd; and this Archephon
9. Ate of the char, and mackerel, and mullets,
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10. Till he could eat no longer; when he never
11. Had tasted anything before more tender
12. Than sprats and worthless smelts from the Phalerum;
13. But from the tench he carefully abstain'd.
14. And this did seem a most amazing thing,
15. So that the king inquired of Alcenor,
16. Whether the man had overlook'd the tench.
17. The hunchback said; No, quite the contrary,
18. He was the first to see them, Ptolemy,
19. But still he will not touch them, for this fish
20. Is one he holds in awe; and he's afraid
21. And thinks it quite against his country's rules
22. That he, while bringing nothing to the feast,
23. Should dare to eat a fish which has a vote.

And Alexis in his Wine-Bibber introduces Stratius the parasite as grumbling at the man who gives him his dinner, and speaking thus—

1. I'd better be a parasite of Pegasus,
2. Or the Boreade, or whoever else
3. Is faster still, than thus to Demeas
4. Eteobutades, the son of Laches,
5. For he is not content to walk, but flies.

And a little afterwards he says—

1. A. Oh Stratius, dost thou love me?
2. B. Aye, I do
3. More than my father, for he does not feed me;
4. But you do give the best of dinners daily.
5. A. And do you pray the gods that I may live
6. B. No doubt I do; for how should I myself
7. Live if misfortune happen'd unto you?

And Axionicus the comic poet, in his Etrurian, mentions Gryllion the parasite in these words—

1. They cannot now make the excuse of wine,
2. As Gryllion was always used to do.

And Aristodemus, in the second book of his Memoranda or Laughable Things, gives the following list of parasites— Sostratus the parasite of Antiochus the king, Evagoras the Hunchback, parasite of Demetrius Poliorcetes, and Phormio parasite of Seleucus. And Lynceus the Samian, in his Apophthegms, says—"Silanus the Athenian, when Gryllion the parasite of Menander the satrap was passing by in a superb robe, and accompanied by a great number of attendants, being asked who he was, said,

He is a jaw worthy of Menander.

But Chærephon the parasite, coming once to a wedding feast without being invited, and sitting down the last of all, when the gynæconomi had counted those who were invited, and desired him to depart as having made the number of guests to exceed the legitimate number of thirty, said, 'Count us over again, and begin with me.'

And that it was a custom for the officers called gynæconomi[*](We know little more of the gynæconomi, or γυναικόκοσμοι as they were also called, than what is derived from this passage. It appears probable that they existed from the time of Solon; though the duties here attributed to them may not have formed a part of their original business. Vide Smith, Diet. Ant. in voc.) to superintend the banquets, and to examine into the number of those who had been invited, and see whether it was in accordance with the law, we may learn from Timocles in his Litigious Man, where he says—

1. Open the doors at once, that we may be
2. More in the light against the gynæconomus
3. Shall enter and begin to count the guests,
4. As he is bound to do by this new law,
5. A marvellous statute. It were better far
6. That he should ask who are without a dinner.

And Menander says in his Cecryphalus—

1. Knowing that by some new law lately passed,
2. The cooks who minister at marriage feasts
3. Have given in their names and are enroll'd
4. In the books of the gynæconomi,
5. So that they may the number learn of those
6. Who are invited, lest a man should feast
7. More than the legal number.

And Philochorus, in the seventh book of his history of the Affairs of Attica, says—The gynæconomi used, in conjunction with the judges of the Areopagus, to examine the parties in private houses, and at marriage feasts, and at all other festivals and sacrifices.

And Lynceus records the following sayings of Corydus:—

Once when a courtesan whose name was Gnome was supping with Corydus, the wine ran short, on which he desired every one to contribute two obols; and said that Gnome should contribute whatever the people thought fit. And once when Polyctor the harp-player was eating lentil porridge, and had got a stone between his teeth, ' O you unhappy man!' said Corydus, 'even a lentil strikes you. '

And perhaps he is the same person whom Machon mentions; for he says—

1. It seems that once a wretched harp-player,
2. Being about to build himself a house,
3. Begg'd of a friend to lend him a few stones;
4. And many more will I repay, he said,
5. When I've display'd my art to all the people.

And once, when somebody said to Corydus that he sometimes kissed the neck, and the breasts, and even the navel (ὀμφαλὸς) of his wife,

That is very wrong,

said he;

for even Hercules went from Omphale to Hebe.

And when Phyromachus dipped a piece of bread into some lentil porridge, and upset the dish, he said that it was right that he should be fined, because he did not know how to eat properly, though he professed to. And once, at Ptolemy's table, when a ragout was carried round to the guests, but was finished before it came to him—

O Ptolemy,

said he,

am I drunk, or am I right in thinking that these dishes are carried round

And when Chærephon the parasite said that he was unable to stand much wine, he rejoined,

No, nor stand what is put into the wine either.

And once, when at some entertainment Chærephon rose up from supper quite naked—

O Chærephon,

said he,

you are just like a bottle, so that we can see how nearly full you are.

And when Demosthenes received that goblet from Harpalus—

This man,

said he,

who calls other men hard drinkers, has himself swallowed a large cup.

And, as he was in the habit of bringing dirty loaves to supper, once, when somebody else brought some which were blacker still, he said,

that he had not brought loaves, but the shades of loaves.

And Philoxenus the parasite, who was surnamed Pternocopis, once was dining with Python, and olives (ἐλάαι) were put on the table, and after a little while a dish of fish was brought; and he, striking the dish, said—

1. μάστιξεν δʼ ἐλαᾷν.

And once, at supper, when the man who had invited him had set loaves of black bread before him, he said,

Do not give me too many, lest you should darken the room.

And Pausimachus said of a certain parasite who was maintained by an old woman,

That the man who lived with the old woman fared in exactly the contrary manner to the old woman her-

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self; for that he was always large.

And he is the man of whom Machon writes in this manner:–

1. They say that Moschion the water drinker
2. Once, when he was with friends in the Lyceum,
3. Seeing a parasite who was used to live
4. Upon a rich old woman, said to him,
5. "My friend, your fate is truly marvellous;
6. For your old dame does give you a big belly."

And the same man, hearing of a parasite who was maintained by an old woman, and who lived in habits of daily intimacy with her, said—

1. Nothing is strange henceforth, she brings forth nothing,
2. But the man daily doth become big-bellied.

And Ptolemy, the son of Agesarchus, a native of Megalopolis, in the second book of his history of Philopator, says that men to dine with the king were collected from every city, and that they were called jesters.

And Posidonius of Apamea, in the twenty-third book of his histories, says, "The Celtæ, even when they make war, take about with them companions to dine with them, whom they call parasites. And these men celebrate their praises before large companies assembled together, and also to private individuals who are willing to listen to them: they have also a description of people called Bards, who make them music; and these are poets, who recite their praises with songs. And in his thirty-fourth book, the same writer speaks of a man whose name was Apollonius, as having been the parasite of Antiochus surnamed Grypus, king of Syria. And Aristodemus relates that Bithys, the parasite of king Lysimachus, once, when Lysimachus threw a wooden figure of a scorpion on his cloak, leaped up in a great fright; but presently, when he perceived the truth, he said,

I, too, will frighten you, O king!—give me a talent.

For Lysiachus was very stingy. And Agatharchides the Cnidian, in the twenty-second book of his history of Europe, says that Anthemocritus the pancratiast was the parasite of Aristomachus, the tyrant of the Argives.