Dialogi deorum

Lucian of Samosata

The Works of Lucian of Samosata, complete, with exceptions specified in thepreface, Vol. 1. Fowler, H. W. and Fowlere, F.G., translators. Oxford at the Clarendon Press, 1905.

Hephaestus Have you seen Maia’s baby, Apollo? such a pretty little thing, with a smile for everybody; you can see it is going to be a treasure,

Apollo That baby a treasure? well, in mischief, Iapetus is young beside it.

Hephaestus Why, what harm can it do, only just born?

Apollo Ask Posidon; it stole his trident. Ask Ares; he was surprised to find his sword gone out of the scabbard. Not to mention myself, disarmed of bow and arrows.

Hephaestus Never! that infant? he has hardly found his legs yet; he is not out of his baby-linen.

Apollo Ah, you will find out, Hephaestus, if he gets within reach of you.

Hephaestus He has been.

Apollo Well? all your tools safe? none missing?

Hephaestus Of course not.

Apollo I advise you to make sure.

Hephaestus Zeus! where are my pincers?

Apollo Ah, you will find them among the baby-linen,

Hephaestus So light-fingered? one would swear he had practised petty larceny in the womb.

Apollo Ah, and you don’t know what a glib young chatterbox he is; and, if he has his way, he is to be our errand-boy! Yesterday he challenged Eros—tripped up his heels somehow, and had

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him on his back in a twinkling; before the applause was over, he had taken the opportunity of a congratulatory hug from Aphrodite to steal her girdle; Zeus had not done laughing before— the sceptre was gone. If the thunderbolt had not been too heavy, and very hot, he would have made away with that too.

Hephaestus The child has some spirit in him, by your account.

Apollo Spirit, yes—and some music, moreover, young as he is.

Hephaestus How can you tell that?

Apollo He picked up a dead tortoise somewhere or other, and contrived an instrument with it. He fitted horns to it, with a cross-bar, stuck in pegs, inserted a bridge, and played a sweet tuneful thing that made an old harper like me quite envious. Even at night, Maia was saying, he does not stay in Heaven; he goes down poking his nose into Hades—on a thieves’ errand, no doubt. Then he has a pair of wings, and he has made himself a magic wand, which he uses for marshalling souls—convoying the dead to their place.

Hephaestus Ah, I gave him that, for a toy.

Apollo And by way of payment he stole—

Hephaestus Well thought on; I must go and get them; you may be right about the baby-linen.