Dialogi mortuorum

Hermes Ferryman, what do you say to settling up accounts? It will prevent any unpleasantness later on.

Charon Very good. It does save trouble to get these things straight.

Hermes One anchor, to your order, five shillings.

Charon That is a lot of money.

Hermes So help me Pluto, it is what I had to pay. One rowlock-strap, fourpence,

Charon Five and four; put that down.

Hermes Then there was a needle, for mending the sail; tenpence.

Charon Down with it.

Hermes Caulking-wax; nails; and cord for the brace. Two shillings the lot.

Charon They were worth the money.

Hermes That’s all; unless I have forgotten anything. When will you pay it?

Charon I can’t just now, Hermes; we shall have a war or a plague presently, and then the passengers will come shoaling in, and I shall be able to make a little by jobbing the fares.

Hermes So for the present I have nothing to do but sit down, and pray for the worst, as my only chance of getting paid?

Charon There is nothing else for it;—very little business doing just now, as you see, owing to the peace.

Hermes That is just as well, though it does keep me waiting for my money. After all, though, Charon, in old days men were men; you remember the state they used to come down in,—all blood and wounds generally. Nowadays, a man is poisoned by his slave or his wife; or gets dropsy from overfeeding; a pale, spiritless lot, nothing like-the men of old. Most of them seem to meet their end in some plot that has money for its object.

Charon Ah; money is in great request.

Hermes Yes; you can’t blame me if I am somewhat urgent for payment.