To Demonicus

Train yourself in self-imposed toils, that you may be able to endure those which others impose upon you.[*](So also Democritus, Stobaeus, Flor. xxix. 63.) Practice self-control in all the things by which it is shameful for the soul to be controlled,[*](The Greek ideal of freedom through self-control, See Socrates in Xen. Mem. 4.5. Cf. Isoc. 3.29.) namely, gain, temper, pleasure, and pain. You will attain such self-control if you regard as gainful those things which will increase your reputation and not those which will increase your wealth; if you manage your temper towards those who offend against you as you would expect others to do if you offended against them; if you govern your pleasures on the principle that it is shameful to rule over one's servants and yet be a slave to one's desires; and if, when you are in trouble, you contemplate the misfortunes of others and remind yourself that you are human.

Guard more faithfully the secret which is confided to you than the money which is entrusted to your care; for good men ought to show that they hold their honor more trustworthy than an oath. Consider that you owe it to yourself no less to mistrust bad men than to put your trust in the good. On matters which you would keep secret, speak to no one save when it is equally expedient for you who speak and for those who hear that the facts should not be published.

Never allow yourself to be put under oath save for one of two reasons—in order to clear yourself of disgraceful charges or to save your friends from great dangers. In matters of money, swear by none of the gods, not even when you intend to swear a true oath; for you will be suspected on the one hand of perjury, on the other of greed.

Make no man your friend before inquiring how he has used his former friends;[*](Cf. Xen. Mem. 2.6.6.) for you must expect him to treat you as he has treated them. Be slow[*](Cf. Solon, quoted in Diog. Laert. 1.60: fi/lous mh\ taxu\ ktw=: ou(\s d' a)\n kth/sh| mh\ a)podoki/maze.) to give your friendship, but when you have given it, strive to make it lasting; for it is as reprehensible to make many changes in one's associates as to have no friend at all. Neither test your friends to your own injury nor be willing to forgo a test of your companions. You can manage this if you pretend to be in want when really you lack nothing.

Confide in them about matters which require no secrecy as if they were secrets; for if you fail you will not injure yourself, and if you succeed you will have a better knowledge of their character. Prove your friends by means of the misfortunes of life and of their fellowship in your perils; for as we try gold in the fire, so we come to know our friends when we are in misfortune.[*](For both the figure and the sentiment cf. Theog. 415.) You will best serve your friends if you do not wait for them to ask your help, but go of your own accord at the crucial moment to lend them aid.

Consider it equally disgraceful to be outdone by your enemies in doing injury and to be surpassed by your friends in doing kindness.[*](The “get even” standard of honor in popular thought. Cf. Theog. 869-72: e)/n moi e)/peita pe/soi me/gas ou)rano\s eu)ru\s u(/perqen xa/lkeos, a)nqrw/pwn dei=ma xamaigene/wn, ei) mh\ e)gw\ toi=sin me\n e)parke/sw oi(/ me filou=sin, toi=s d' e)xqroi=s a)ni/n kai\ me/ga ph=m' e)/somai. Even Socrates reflects this standard in Xen. Mem. 2.6.35. Not so Socrates in Plato: see Plat. Rep. 335a.) Admit to your companionship, not those alone who show distress at your reverses, but those also who show no envy at your good fortune; for there are many who sympathize with their friends in adversity, but envy them in prosperity.[*](See Socrates' analysis of envy in Xen. Mem. 3.9.8.) Mention your absent friends to those who are with you, so that they may think you do not forget them, in their turn, when they are absent.

In matters of dress, resolve to be a man of taste, but not a fop. The man of taste is marked by elegance, the fop by excess. Set not your heart on the excessive acquisition of goods, but on a moderate enjoyment of what you have. Despise those who strain after riches, but are not able to use what they have; they are in like case with a man who, being but a wretched horseman, gets him a fine mount.

Try to make of money a thing to use as well as to possess; it is a thing of use to those who understand how to enjoy it, and a mere possession to those who are able only to acquire it. Prize the substance you have for two reasons—that you may have the means to meet a heavy loss and that you may go to the aid of a worthy friend when he is in distress; but for your life in general, cherish your possessions not in excess but in moderation.

Be content with your present lot, but seek a better one. Taunt no man with his misfortune for fate is common to all and the future is a thing unseen. Bestow your favors on the good; for a goodly treasury is a store of gratitude laid up in the heart of an honest man. If you benefit bad men, you will have the same reward as those who feed stray dogs; for these snarl alike at those who give them food and at the passing stranger; and just so base men wrong alike those who help and those who harm them.[*](The same cynicism is expressed in Theog. 105-106: deilou\s eu)= e)/rdonti mataiota/th xa/ris e)sti/n: i)=son kai\ spei/rein po/nton a(lo\s polih=s.)

Abhor flatterers as you would deceivers; for both, if trusted, injure those who trust them. If you admit to your friendship men who seek your favor for the lowest ends, your life will be lacking in friends who will risk your displeasure for the highest good. Be affable in your relations with those who approach you, and never haughty; for the pride of the arrogant even slaves can hardly endure, whereas when men are affable all are glad to bear with their ways.

But to be affable, you must not be quarrelsome, nor hard to please, nor always determined to have your way; you must not oppose harshly the angry moods of your associates, even if they happen to be angry without reason, but rather give way to them when they are in the heat of passion and rebuke them when their anger has cooled; you must avoid being serious when the occasion is one for mirth, or taking pleasure in mirth when the occasion is serious (for what is unseasonable is always offensive); you must not bestow your favors ungraciously as do the majority who, when they must oblige their friends, do it offensively; and you must not be given to fault-finding, which is irksome, nor be censorious, which is exasperating.

If possible avoid drinking-parties altogether,[*](For drinking-parties in Athens see Isocrates' picture in Isoc. 15.286-7.) but if ever occasion arises when you must be present, rise and take your leave before you become intoxicated;[*](Theognis gives the same advice, Theog. 484 ff.) for when the mind is impaired by wine it is like chariots which have lost their drivers; for just as these plunge along in wild disorder when they miss the hands which should guide them, so the soul stumbles again and again when the intellect is impaired.[*](This recalls the figure of the charioteer and the two horses in Plat. Phaedrus 247a-c. There is an exact parallel in Libanius, xii. 40.) Cultivate the thoughts of an immortal by being lofty of soul, but of a mortal by enjoying in due measure the good things which you possess.[*](Cf. Isoc. 1.9)

Consider culture to be a good so far superior to the lack of culture that while in general everyone derives gain from the practice of vice, boorishness[*](The translation of this perplexing sentence takes au)/th to refer to a)paiduesi/a, following Sandys.) is the one vice which actually penalizes its possessors; for the latter are often punished in deed for the offences they give by their words. When you desire to make a friend of anyone, say good things about him to those who are wont to report them; for praise is the foundation of friendship, as blame is that of enmity.

In your deliberations, let the past be an exemplar for the future;[*](Cf. Isoc. 2.35.) for the unknown may be soonest discerned by reference to the known.[*](The same idea is attributed to Cleobulus, Stob. Flor. 3.31 ta\ a(fanh= toi=s faneroi=s tekmai/rou.) Be slow in deliberation, but be prompt to carry out your resolves. Consider that as the best thing which we have from the gods is good fortune, so the best thing which we have in ourselves is good judgement. When there is anything of which you are ashamed to speak openly, but about which you wish to confer with some of your friends, speak as though it were another's affair; thus you will get at their opinion, and will not betray your own case.

Whenever you purpose to consult with anyone about your affairs, first observe how he has managed his own; for he who has shown poor judgement in conducting his own business will never give wise counsel about the business of others. The greatest incentive you can have to deliberation is to observe the misfortunes which spring from the lack of it; for we pay the closest attention to our health when we recall the pains which spring from disease.

Pattern after the character of kings, and follow closely their ways. For you will thus be thought to approve them and emulate them, and as a result you will have greater esteem in the eyes of the multitude and a surer hold on the favor of royalty. Obey the laws which have been laid down by kings, but consider their manner of life your highest law. For just as one who is a citizen in a democracy must pay court to the multitude, so also one who lives under a monarchy should revere the king.[*](Isocrates' defense of his advice to the young Nicocles in Isoc. 15.70 applies here. See Isoc. 2, introduction.)

When you are placed in authority, do not employ any unworthy person in your administration; for people will blame you for any mistakes which he may make. Retire from your public trusts, not more wealthy, but more highly esteemed; for the praise of a people is better than many possessions. Never support or defend a bad cause, for people will suspect that you yourself do the things which you aid others in doing.

Put yourself in a position in which you have the power to take advantage, but refrain when you have your fair share, so that men may think that you strive for justice, not from weakness, but from a sense of equity. Prefer honest poverty to unjust wealth;[*](Cf. Theog. 145-8: bou/leo d' eu)sebe/wn su\n xrh/masin oi)kei=n h)\ ploutei=n, a)di/kws xrhma/ta pasa/menos. e)n de\ dikaiosu/nh| sullh/bdhn pa=s' a)reth/ e)stin, pa=s de/ t' a)nh\r a)gaqo/s, *ku/rne, di/kaios e)w/n..) for justice is better than riches in that riches profit us only while we live, while justice provides us glory even after we are dead, and while riches are shared by bad men, justice is a thing in which the wicked can have no part.[*](Cf. Isoc. 2.32; Theog. 315-18: polloe/ toi ploutou=si kakoi/, a)gaqoi\ de\ pe/nontai: a)ll' h(mei=s tou/tois ou) diameiyo/meqa th=s a)reth=s to\n plou=tin, e)pei\ to\ me\n e)/mpedon ai)ei/, xrh/mata d' a)nqrw/pwn a)/llote a)/llos e)/xei.)

Never emulate those who seek to gain by injustice, but cleave rather to those who have suffered loss in the cause of justice; for if the just have no other advantage over the unjust, at any rate they surpass them in their high hopes.[*](This suggests the noble passage on just living in Isoc. 8.34. Cf. Isoc. 4.28 and note. Life beyond this life is a “hope” in Isocrates; what he is sure of is the immortality of fame. See Isoc. 5.134.)

Give careful heed to all that concerns your life, but above all train your own intellect; for the greatest thing in the smallest compass is a sound mind in a human body.[*](From Periander. See Stob. Flor . iii. 56: *peri/andros e)rwthqei/s, ti/ me/giston e)n e)laxi/stw|, ei)=pe, fre/nes a)gaqai\ e)n sw/mati a)nqrw/pou) Strive with your body to be a lover of toil, and with your soul to be a lover of wisdom, in order that with the one you may have the strength to carry out your resolves, and with the other the intelligence to foresee what is for your good.