Cicero

And again, when Marcus Appius prefaced his speech in a case by saying that his friend had begged him to exhibit diligence, eloquence, and fidelity, And then, said Cicero, are you so hard-hearted as to exhibit none of those great qualities which your friend demanded?

Now, this use of very biting jests against enemies or legal opponents seems to be part of the orator’s business; but his indiscriminate attacks for the sake of raising a laugh made many people hate Cicero. And I will give a few instances of this also. Marcus Aquinius, who had two sons-in-law in exile, he called Adrastus.[*](Adrastus, mythical king of Argos, gave his two daughters in marriage to Tydeus and Polyneices, both of whom were fugitives from their native cities.)

Again, Lucius Cotta, who held the office of censor, was very fond of wine, and Cicero, when canvassing for the consulship, was a-thirst, and as his friends stood about him while he drank, said: You have good reason to fear that the censor will deal harshly with me—for drinking water. And when he met Voconius escorting three very ugly daughters, he cried out:—

1. It was against the will of Phoebus that he begat children.

Again, when Marcus Gellius, who was thought to be of servile birth, had read letters to the senate in a loud and clear voice, Do not marvel, said Cicero, he too is one of those who have cried aloud for their freedom.[*](A play upon the phrase (used of a slave) in libertatem reclamare. ) And when Faustus, the son of the Sulla who was dictator at Rome and placarded many people for death, got into debt, squandered much of his substance, and placarded his household goods for sale, Cicero said he liked this placarding better than his father’s.

As a consequence of this he became odious to many; and besides, the partisans of Clodius combined against him on the following ground. Clodius was a man of noble birth, young in years, but bold and presumptuous in spirit. This man, being in love with Pompeia, Caesar’s wife, got into his house secretly, by assuming the dress and guise of a lute-player; for the women of Rome were celebrating in Caesar’s house that mysterious rite which men were not allowed to witness,[*](Cf. chapter xix. 3. ) and no man was there;

but being still a beardless youth Clodius hoped without being noticed to slip through to Pompeia along with the women. But since he got in at night and the house was large, he lost his way in the passages; and as he was wandering about, a maid of Aurelia, Caesar’s mother, caught sight of him and asked him his name. Being thus compelled to speak, he said that he was looking for an attendant of Pompeia named Abra, whereupon the maid, perceiving that his voice was not that of a woman, raised a cry and called the women together.

These shut the doors, searched carefully all about, and found Clodius, who had taken refuge in the chamber of the girl with whom he came into the house. The affair having become noised abroad, Caesar divorced Pompeia and had an action for sacrilege brought against Clodius.