Marcus Cato

The Romans once chose three ambassadors to Bithynia, of whom one was gouty, another had had his head trepanned, and the third was deemed a fool. Cato made merry over this, and said that the Romans were sending out an embassy which had neither feet, nor head, nor heart.

His aid was once solicited by Scipio, at the instance of Polybius, in behalf of the exiles from Achaia, and after a long debate upon the question in the Senate, where some favoured and some opposed their return home, Cato rose and said: Here we sit all day, as if we had naught else to do, debating whether some poor old Greeks shall be buried here or in Achaia.

The Senate voted that the men be allowed to return, and a few days afterwards Polybius tried to get admission to that body again, with a proposal that the exiles be restored to their former honours in Achaia, and asked Cato’s opinion on the matter. Cato smiled and said that Polybius, as if he were another Odysseus, wanted to go back into the cave of the Cyclops for a cap and belt which he had left there.

Wise men, he said, profited more from fools than fools from wise men; for the wise shun the mistakes of fools, but fools do not imitate the successes of the wise. He said he liked to see blushes on a young man’s face rather than pallor, and that he had no use for a soldier who plied his hands on the march, and his feet in battle, and whose snore was louder than his war-cry.

Railing at the fat knight, he said, Where can such a body be of service to the state, when everything between its gullet and its groins is devoted to belly? A certain epicure wished to enjoy his society, but he excused himself, saying that he could not live with a man whose palate was more sensitive than his heart. As for the lover, he said his soul dwelt in the body of another.