Res Gestae

And although they are so important and, in their own opinion, such cultivators of the virtues, if they learn that someone has announced that horses or chariots are coming from anywhere whatever, they hover over this same man and ask him questions as anxiously as their ancestors looked up to the two sons of Tyndareus,[*](Castor and Pollux, who were present at the battle at Lake Regillus, 496 B.C., and brought news of victory to Rome; cf. Florus, i. 5, 4; Val. Max. i. 8, 1–2. They are said also to have announced the victories over Perseus at Pydna (Flor. i. 28, 15) and over the Cimbri (i. 38, 20).) when they filled everything with joy by announcing those famous victories of olden days.

Their houses are frequented by idle chatterboxes, who with various pretences of approval applaud every word of the man of loftier fortune, emulating the witty flatteries of the parasites in the comedies. For just as the parasites puff up boastful

Sometimes at their banquets the scales are even called for, in order to weigh the fish, birds, and dormice[*](These were considered a delicacy; cf. Apicius, viii. 9; cf. Pliny, N.H. viii. 223.) that are served, whose great size they commend again and again, as hitherto unexampled, often repeating it to the weariness of those present, especially when thirty secretaries stand near by, with pen-cases and small tablets, recording these same items, so that the only thing lacking seems to be a schoolmaster.[*](The meaning is not clear. Perhaps it is that only a schoolmaster is lacking to make the place look like a school; or to praise the host in eloquent language. The former seems more probable; the secretaries (and the guests?) would be the pupils.)

Some of them hate learning as they do poison, and read with attentive care only Juvenal and Marius Maximus,[*](City prefect under Macrinus (Dio, lxxix. 14, 3) who wrote biographies of the Caesars. On him see Vopiscus, Firmus, 1, 2: homo omnium verbosissimus, qui et mythistoricis se voluminibus implicavit. The association of Juvenal with this writer is a strange one, if the poet is meant.) in their boundless idleness handling no other books than these, for what reason it is not for my humble mind to judge.[*](Cf. xxvii. 11, 1.)

Whereas, considering the greatness of their fame and of their parentage, they ought to pore over many and varied works; they ought to learn that Socrates,[*](Cf. Val. Max. viii. 7, Ext. 8; Cic., De Senec. 8, 26; Socrates’ reply is in the words of Solon, about whom a somewhat similar story is told (ἵνα μαθὼν αὐτὸ ἀποθάνω), and perhaps Ammianus confused the two, as Valesius thought.) when condemned to death and thrown into prison, asked a musician, who was skilfully rendering a song

But a few among them are so strict in punishing offences, that if a slave is slow in bringing the hot water, they condemn him to suffer three hundred lashes; if he has intentionally killed a man, although many people insist that he be condemned to death, his master will merely cry out: What should a worthless fellow do, notorious for wicked deeds? But if he dares to do anything else like that hereafter, he shall be punished.

But the height of refinement with these men at present is, that it is better for a stranger to kill any man’s brother than to decline his invitation to dinner. For a senator thinks that he is suffering the loss of a rich property, if the man whom he has, after considerable weighing of pros and cons, invited once, fails to appear at his table.

Some of them, if they make a longish journey to visit their estates, or to hunt by the labours of others,[*](I.e., their slaves do the hunting; cf. Pliny, N.H. xxix. 19; Pliny the Younger, Epist. i. 6.) think that they have equalled the marches of Alexander the Great or of Caesar; or if they have sailed in their gaily-painted boats from the Lake of Avernus to Puteoli, it is the

Then when they come from the bath of Silvanus or from the healing waters of Mamaea,[*](No such places are known in Rome. There was a pool of Mamaea at Baiae; see Lamprid., Alex. Sev. 26, 10, et in Baiano palatium cum stagno, quod Mamaeae nomine hodieque censetur (officially listed); hence the Silvani lavacrum also was probably in Campania.) as any one of them emerges he has himself dried with the finest linens, opens the presses and carefully searches amongst garments shimmering with shifting light, of which he brings enough with him to clothe eleven men. At length, some are chosen and he puts them on; then he takes back his rings, which, in order that the dampness may not injure them, he has handed to a servant, and after his fingers have been as good as measured to receive them, he departs.

And, indeed, if any veteran has recently retired because of his years from service with the emperor, such a company of admirers attend him that . . . is considered to be the leader of the old song; the others quietly listen to what he says. He alone, like the father of a family, tells irrelevant

Some of these, though few in number, shrink from the name of gamblers, and therefore desire to be called rather tesserarii,[*](Perhaps a word-play on the two meanings of tesserarii, players with dice and keepers of the watchword. According to Wagner, there was somewhat more skill called for with the tesserae, while with the aleae it was mainly luck.) persons who differ from each other only as much as thieves do from brigands. But this must be admitted, that while all friendships at Rome are lukewarm, those alone which are formed at the gambling table, as if they were gained by glorious toil, have a bond of union and are united by complete firmness of exceeding affection; whence some members of these companies are found to be so harmonious that you would take them for the brothers Quintilius.[*](Condianus and Maximus. They lived under the reign of Commodus, held office together, and were executed together by his order; cf. Dio, lxiii. 5, 3; Lamprid., Comm. 4, 9.) And so you may see a man of low station, who is skilled in the secrets of dice-playing, walking abroad like Porcius Cato[*](Cato Uticensis is meant.) after his unexpected and unlooked-for defeat for the praetorship, with a set expression of dignity and sorrow because at some great banquet or assemblage a former proconsul was given a higher place of honour.

Some lie in wait for men of wealth, old or young, childless or unmarried, or even for those who have wives or children—for no distinction is observed in this respect—enticing them by wonderful

Another, who attained some rank, moderate though it be, walking with neck puffed up, looks askance at his former acquaintances, so that you might think that a Marcellus was returning after the taking of Syracuse.

Many of them, who deny that there are higher powers in heaven, neither appear in public nor eat a meal nor think they can with due caution take a bath, until they have critically examined the calendar[*](I.e., an astronomical calendar; see Juvenal, vi, 573 ff., which Lindenbrog thought that Ammianus had in mind.) and learned where, for example, the planet Mercury is, or what degree of the constellation of the Crab the moon occupies in its course through the heavens.

Another, if he finds a creditor of his demanding his due with too great urgency, resorts to a charioteer[*](Charioteers were notorious for the use of magic arts against their rivals, and in general; see xxvi. 3, 3, note; xxviii. 1, 27.) who is all too ready to dare any enterprise, and causes the creditor to be charged with being a poisoner; and he is not let off until he has surrendered the bill of indebtedness and paid heavy costs. And besides, the accuser has the voluntary

In another place a wife by hammering day and night on the same anvil—as the old proverb has it[*](Cf. Cic., De Orat. ii. 39, 162, and xviii. 4, 2.) —drives her husband to make a will, and the husband insistently urges his wife to do the same. Skilled jurists are brought in on both sides, one in a bedroom, the other, his rival, in the dining-room to discuss disputed points. These are joined by opposing interpreters of horoscopes,[*](Cf. Lucian, Dial. Mort., 11, 1.) on the one side making profuse promises of prefectures and the burial of rich matrons, on the other telling women that for their husbands’ funerals now quietly approaching they must make the necessary preparations. And a maid-servant bears witness, by nature somewhat pale,. . .[*](The rest of this sentence seems hopelessly corrupt and unintelligible.) As Cicero says:[*](De Amic. 21, 79.) They know of nothing on earth that is good unless it brings gain. Of their friends, as of their cattle, they love those best from whom they hope to get the greatest profit.

When these people seek any loan, you will see them in slippers like a Micon or a Laches;[*](Characters in comedy; i.e., they are humble and obsequious.) when

Let us now turn to the idle and slothful commons. Among them some who have no shoes are conspicuous as though they had cultured names, such as the Messores, Statarii, Semicupae and Serapini, and Cicymbricus, with Gluturinus and Trulla, and Lucanicus with Porclaca and Salsula, and countless others.[*](Cf. xxviii. 4, 7. Ammianus is satirical, since these names are derived from humble occupations.)

These spend all their life with wine and dice, in low haunts, pleasures, and the games. Their temple, their dwelling, their assembly, and the height of all their hopes is the Circus Maximus. You may see many groups of them gathered in the fora, the cross-roads, the streets,[*](See Class. Phil. xxxii (1937), 49 ff.) and their other meeting-places, engaged in quarrelsome arguments with one another, some (as usual) defending this, others that.

Among them those who have enjoyed a surfeit of life, influential through long experience, often swear by their hoary hair and wrinkles that the state cannot exist if in the coming race the charioteer whom each favours is not first to rush forth from the barriers, and fails to round the turning-point closely with his ill-omened[*](Perhaps implying that magic arts have been used against him; but see crit. note. In general, cf. Hor., Odes, i. 1, 4 f., metaque fervidis evitata rotis. ) horses.