Priapeia
Priaepia
by divers poets in English verse and prose. Translated by Sir Richard Burton and Leonard C. Smithers
Thou also mockest, O thief, and when threatened, dost stretch out to me the indecent finger Alas, unhappy I! that the thing is but wood which makes me seem fearsome. But no matter, I will charge the lecherous owner of the garden that he may be willing to irrumate the thieves for me.
An old crow, a thing of decay, a very sepulchre, grown rotten through the lapse of generations, who perchance might have been the wet-nurse of Tithonus, of Priam, and of Nestor, or who was an old woman maybe when they were boys, beseeches me that a futterer may not be wanting to her. How if she were now to pray that she may become a girl again? Nevertheless if she hath- money, she is a girl.[*]( Suggesting she may obtain a lover if she will pay for him. Martial writes,'Lesbia swears that she has never been futtered gratis. It is true: for when shewants to futter, she is wont to pay.' And,Wouldst thou be wimbled gratis when thou artA wrinkled wretch deformed in every part?O 'tis a thing more than ridiculous:To take a man's full sum, and not pay Use!)
Whatever thief who deceives my faith may he wither away, far from the buttocks of a catamite. And whatso girl who with audacious hand plucks off these apples, may she meet with no futterer
Know this, lest thou shouldst deny being warned, if thou comest a thief thou wilt go dishonoured
- If as many verses so many apples thou hast dedicated to
- thee, O Priapus, thou wilt be richer than of yore Alcinous.