Res Gestae

When they have once devoted themselves to shady gain and to eagerness for money from any and every source, they urge all kinds of innocent people to involve themselves in vain litigations. And when they are allowed to defend suits, which rarely happens, amidst the very turning-points of the disputes they learn the name of their client and the purport of the business in hand from the mouth of the judge, and they so overflow with disarranged circumlocutions that in the foul hotchpotch you would think you were hearing a Thersites[*](Here a typical name for a foul-mouthed rascal; Iliad, ii. 211 ff.) with his howling din.

But when they find themselves in the end unable to defend the charges, they turn to unbridled licence in abuse; and on this account, because of their constant insults of persons of rank, they are prosecuted and often condemned; and among them are some who are so ignorant that they cannot remember that they ever possessed a law-book.

And if in a circle of learned men the name of an ancient writer happens to be mentioned, they think it is a foreign word for some fish or other edible; but if any stranger asks for the orator Marcianus (for example),[*](Here a typical name.) who was

And they no longer have before their eyes any right, but as if sold to and enslaved by avarice, they understand nothing except endless licence in making demands. And if once they have caught anyone in their nets, they entangle him in a thousand toils, purposely defaulting by pretending sicknesses one after another; and they prepare seven plausible preambles in order that the useless reading of well-known law may be introduced, thus weaving swarms[*](A favourite word of Ammianus, used literally in xviii. 3, 1; figuratively in xvi. 12, 11; xx. 7, 15; xxi. 5, 4. Wagner takes examina here in the sense of investigations (examina: a stateris ducta metaphora).) of long delays.

And when the contending parties are stripped of everything, and days, months and years are used up, at last the case, now worn out with age, is introduced, and those brilliant principals[*](The heads of the knighthood (ordo splendidus); cf. xxiii. 6, 83, nobilitas omnis et splendor. ) come forth, bringing with them other shadows of advocates. And when theyhave come within the barriers[*](= fori cancelli; cf. Cic., Sest. 58, 124, tantus est ex omnibus spectaculis usque a Capitolio, tantus ex fori cancellis plausus excitatus. ) of the court, and the fortunes or safety of some one begins to be discussed, and they ought to work to turn the sword or ruinous loss from an innocent person, the advocates on both sides wrinkling their brows and waving their arms in semblance of the gestures of actors (so that they lack only the oratorical pipe[*](See Cic., De Orat. iii. 60, 225; Plut., Tib. Gracch. 2, 4–5; Gaius Gracchus is said to have had a player on a pipe stationed behind him, when he made a speech, to regulate the force of his delivery; Val. Max. viii. 10, 1; Quint. i. 10, 27; Gell. i. 11, 10 ff.) of Gracchus behind them) stand for a long time opposite each other. At last, in accordance with a prearranged agreement, the one who is more confident in speech utters a kind of a sweet prologue, promising to emulate the ornamental language of

But yet, in spite of this, advocates suffer many inconveniences, not easy to be endured by a man who would live rightly. For, allured by the profits of their sedentary[*](With the underlying sense of base, contemptible. ) trade, they differ among themselves and become enemies, and they offend many by their outbursts of abusive ferocity (as has been said), which they blab out in a torrent when they have no arguments strong enough to fortify the weakness of the cases which have been entrusted to them.

And they have to deal with judges who sometimes are taught by the sophisms of Philistion or Aesopus,[*](Lindenbrog thought Aesopus was the famous tragic actor, but that seems doubtful because of the connection; cf. xxvi. 6, 15, mimicam cavillationem; Solinus, ch. x. (on Sicily). Valesius took him to be the celebrated writer of fables; Wagner believed that both Philistion and Aesopus were writers of mimes contemporary with Cicero.) rather than reared in the discipline of your Aristides the Just or Cato. Such men, having bought public office for large sums of money, like tiresome creditors prying into the resources of every kind of fortune, shake out booty from other men’s bosoms.