Satires

One fourth[*](The first hour of the day among the Romans answered to our sixth. Martial says the courts were open at nine o'clock, "exercet raucos tertia causidicos;" it was, therefore, more than an hour after their opening, that Horace passed by the temple of Vesta.) of the day being now passed, we came to Vesta's temple; and, as good luck would have it, he was obliged to appear to his recognizance; which unless he did, he must have lost his cause.

"If you love me," said he, "step in here a little."

"May I die! if I be either able to stand it out,[*](Aut valeo stare.Horace uses the law terms, respondere, adesse, stare, rem relinquere. The first signifies to appear before a judge upon a summons; the second was properly to attend on the person who appeared, and to support his cause; the third marks the posture in which he stood, and relinquere causam to suffer himself to be non-suited for not appearing.) or have any knowledge of the civil laws: and besides, I am in a hurry, you know whither."

"I am in doubt what I shall do," said he; "whether desert you or my cause."

"Me, I beg of you."

"I will not do it," said he; and began to take the lead of me. I (as it is difficult to contend with one's master) follow him.

"How stands it with Maecenas and you?" Thus he begins his prate again. "He is one of few intimates,[*](Paucorum hominum. "A man of discernment, who does not converse with the multitude," as in Terence, "hic homo est perpaucorum hominum." Scipio having engaged three or four friends to sup with him, and intending to make some others, who came to see him, stay with him, Pontius whispered him, "Consider, Scipio, what you are doing; this is a delicate fish, paucorum hominum, and does not love a great deal of company.") and of a very wise way of thinking. No man ever made use of opportunity with more cleverness. You should have a powerful assistant,[*](Adiutor was a person who assisted a player either with his voice or action, but in what manner is to us inconceivable, as we have nothing like it in our stage. Ferre secundas may be somewhat better explained by a passage in Cicero: "He will not exert his utmost eloquence, but consult your honor and reputation, by lowering his own abilities and raising yours. Thus we see among the Grecian actors, that he who plays the second or third part, conceals his own power, that the principal player may appear to the best advantage."Our impertinent therefore promises Horace, that far from any design of supplanting him in the favor of Maecenas, he will be contented to play the second part, and use his utmost abilities to raise our poet's character, as a principal actor. The reader may turn to the note on the twelfth line in the eighteenth epistle.) who could play an underpart, if you were disposed to recommend this man; may I perish, if you should not supplant all the rest!"

"We do not live there in the manner you imagine; there is not a house that is freer or more remote from evils of this nature. It is never of any disservice to me, that any particular person is wealthier or a better scholar than I am: every individual has his proper place."

"You tell me a marvelous thing, scarcely credible."

"But it is even so."

"You the more inflame my desires to be near his person."

"You need only be inclined to it: such is your merit, you will accomplish it: and he is capable of being won;[*](The poet says Maecenas was naturally easy to be gained, but that a sense of his own weakness obligred him to guard himself against the first addresses of a stranger. Eo for ideo difficiles aditus primos habet, quia est qui vinci possit as in Terence, eo tibi videtur foedus, quia vestem illam non habet. ) and on that account the first access to him he makes difficult."

"I will not be wanting to myself; I will corrupt his servants with presents; if I am excluded to-day, I will not desist; I will seek opportunities; I will meet him in the public streets; I will wait upon him home. Life allows nothing to mortals without great labor."

While he was running on at this rate, lo! Fuscus Aristius comes up, a dear friend of mine, and one who knows the fellow well. We make a stop.

"Whence come you? whither are you going?" he asks and answers. I began to twitch him [by the elbow], and to take hold of his arms [that were affectedly] passive, nodding and distorting my eyes, that he might rescue me. Cruelly arch he laughs, and pretends not to take the hint: anger galled my liver.

"Certainly," [said I, "Fuscus,] you said that you wanted to communicate something to me in private."

"I remember it very well; but will tell it you at a better opportunity: to-day is the thirtieth sabbath.[*](The Jews began their year the first of September, and celebrated their paschal festival the fifteenth of April, in the thirtieth week, from whence Horace calls it tricesima sabbata. It continued eight days, of which the two first and two last were observed with so much solemnity, that it was not permitted even to talk of business. Augustus, in imitation of Julius Caesar, allowed the Jews uncommon privileges.) Would you affront the circumcised Jews?"

I reply, "I have no scruple [on that account]."

"But I have: I am something weaker, one of the multitude. You must forgive me: I will speak with you on another occasion." And has this sun arisen so disastrous upon me! The wicked rogue runs away, and leaves me under the knife.

But by luck his adversary met him: and, "Whither are you going, you infamous fellow?" roars he with a loud voice: and, "Do you witness the arrest?"[*](When a man had given bail in a court of justice, if he neglected the time of appearance, he might be taken by force before the praetor. But the person who would arrest him was obliged, before he used him with violence, to have a witness of his capture, antestari. This, however, could not be done without the consent of the witnesses; he, therefore, willingly offered the captor his ear to touch, who was liable, if these forms were not observed, to an action, iniuriarum actionem. But thieves and people of infamous characters were not treated with so much formality. When a fellow in Plautus cries out, "Will you not call a witness before you seize me?" nonne antestaris?(Persa 747-748) he is answered, "What, shall I touch an honest man's ear for such a scoundrel as you are?" Pliny tells us, the lowest part of the ear is the seat of memory, from whence came this form of their laws.)

I assent.[*](Oppono auriculam. Such was the law term, which our poet very willingly pronounced, to signify the consent of the witness.) He hurries him into court: there is a great clamor on both sides, a mob from all parts. Thus Apollo preserved me.[*](Horace ascribes his rescue from the intruder to Apollo, as the patron of poets. Perhaps he alludes to the statue of that god, which was in the forum, where the courts were held, and as it was a law proceeding that saved him from the garrulus, he ascribes his preservation to the god, that from his vicinity to the courts, was called iuris peritus. Juven. i. 113. Orellius considers reference to be made to Apollo, ἀλεξικάκος or ἀποτροπαῖος, and that the passage is founded on Il. 20. 443τὸν δ' ἐξήρπαξεν Ἀπόλλω )

To be sure I did say, that the verses of Lucilius[*](Lucilius had his numerous admirers in Rome, who were greatly disobliged by the freedom with which our poet had treated him in his fourth Satire. Horace was determined to support his own judgment, and instead of making an apology, confirms what he had said, with his utmost force and address. Respecting the eight spurious verses usually prefixed to this satire, see Orelli's Excursus. The verses are as follows: lucili, quam sis mendosus, teste catone,defensore tuo, pervincam, qui male factosemendare parat versus, hoc lenius ille,quo melior vir et est longe subtilior illo,qui multum puer et loris et funibus udisexoratus, ut esset, opem qui ferre poetisantiquis posset contra fastidia nostra,grammaticorum equitum doctissimus. ut redeam illuc: ) did not run smoothly. Who is so foolish an admirer of Lucilius, that he would not own this? But the same writer is applauded in the same Satire,[*](Cf. Sat. 4. ) on account of his having lashed the town with great humor. Nevertheless granting him this, I will not therefore give up the other [considerations]; for at that rate I might even admire the farces of Laberius,[*](Mimi were farces written purely for diversion and laughing. Decimus Laberius was made a Roman knight by Julius Caesar. He had long maintained the first character in this kind of writing, but Publius Syrus at last became his rival, and carried off all the applause of the theater.) as fine poems. Hence it is by no means sufficient to make an auditor grin with laughter: and yet there is some degree of merit even in this. There is need of conciseness that the sentence may run, and not embarrass itself with verbiage, that overloads the sated ear; and sometimes a grave, frequently jocose style is necessary, supporting the character one while of the orator, and [at another] of the poet, now and then that of a graceful rallier that curbs the force of his pleasantry and weakens it on purpose. For ridicule often decides matters of importance more effectually and in a better manner, than severity. Those poets by whom the ancient comedy was written, stood upon this [foundation], and in this are they worthy of imitation: whom neither the smooth-faced Hermogenes ever read, nor that baboon who is skilled in nothing but singing [the wanton compositions of] Calvus and Catullus.

But [Lucilius, say they,] did a great thing, when he intermixed Greek words with Latin. O late-learned dunces! What! do you think that arduous and admirable, which was done by Pitholeo the Rhodian? But [still they cry] the style elegantly composed of both tongues is the more pleasant, as if Falernian wine is mixed with Chian. When you make verses, I ask you this question; were you to undertake the difficult cause of the accused Petillius, would you (for instance), forgetful of your country and your father, while Pedius,[*](Pedius. This is, without doubt, the son of that Q. Pedius whom Julius Caesar made heir to the fourth part of his estate, and who was chosen consul with Octavius, in room of Hirtius and Pansa.) Poplicola, and Corvinus'[*](Corvinus. V. Messala Corvinus, no less distinguished by his eloquence than by his noble birth. He was descended from the famed Valerius Poplicola) sweat through their causes in Latin, choose to intermix words borrowed from abroad, like the double-tongued Canusinian.[*](Canusium was built by Diomede. Its inhabitants, originally Greeks, had preserved many words of their first language, which being mixed with Latin, made a ridiculous, disagreeable jargon. Virgil for the same reason, calls the Tyrians, Tyriosque bilingues.(Aen. 1.661) ) And as for myself, who was born on this side the water, when.I was about making Greek verses; Romulus appearing to me after midnight, when dreams are true, forbade me in words to this effect; "You could not be guilty of more madness by carrying timber into a wood, than by desiring to throng in among the great crowds of Grecian writers."

While bombastical Alpinus[*](Alpinus. The most probable conjectures induce us to believe, that Horace means Furius Bibaculus, a poet of some reputation, and not without merit. He describes him in another Satire (2.5.40)pingui tentus omaso, and here he calls him turgidus, not only from the fatness of his person but the flatulency of his style. The surname of Alpinus marks his being born among the Gauls, who lived on the Alps; or, as Dr. Bentley pleasantly understands it, from a famous line, which our poet laughs at in another place: "Jupiter hibernas cana nive conspuit Alpes." Iugulat dum Memnona is a tone and style of bombast in the true spirit of ridicule.) murders Memnon, and while he deforms the muddy source of the Rhine, I amuse myself with these satires; which can neither be recited in the temple[*](Quae nec in Aede sonent. The commentator tells that Augustus appointed five judges, of whom Metius Tarpa was one, to distribute poetical prizes, and determine what plays should be presented on the stage. Vossius believes they were established in imitation of the Sicilians and Athenians. Mr. Dacier thinks they were continued under the reign of Domitian.) [of Apollo], as contesting for the prize when Tarpa presides as judge, nor can have a run over and over again represented in the theaters. You, O Fundanius,[*](Fundanius. He is known only by this elogium of Horace. This passage refers to the Andria of Terence, where Chremes is deceived by the artifices of Davus.) of all men breathing, are the most capable of prattling tales in a comic vein, how an artful courtesan and a Davus impose upon an old Chremes: Pollio sings the actions of kings in iambic[*](Pede ter percusso. The tragic Iambics had but three measures, each measure having two feet, from whence they were sometimes called senarii, and sometimes trimetra. ) measure; the sublime Varius composes the manly epic, in a manner that no one can equal: to Virgil the Muses, delighting in rural scenes, have granted the delicate and the elegant. It was this kind [of satiric writing], the Aticinian Varro and some others having attempted it without success, in which I may have some slight merit, inferior to the inventor: nor would I presume to pull off the [laurel] crown placed upon his brow with great applause.

But I said that he flowed muddily, frequently indeed bearing along more things which ought to be taken away than left. Be it so; do you, who are a scholar, find no fault with any thing in mighty Homer, I pray? Does the facetious Lucilius make no alterations in the tragedies of Accius? Does not he ridicule many of Ennius' verses, which are too light for the gravity [of the subject]? When he speaks of himself by no means as superior to what he blames. What should hinder me likewise, when I am reading the works of Lucilius, from inquiring whether it be his [genius], or the difficult nature of his subject, that will not suffer his verses to be more finished, and to run more smoothly than if some one, thinking it sufficient to conclude a something of six feet, be fond of writing two hundred verses before he eats, and as many after supper? Such was the genius of the Tuscan Cassius, more impetuous than a rapid river; who, as it is reported, was burned [at the funeral pile] with his own books[*](The funeral piles on which dead bodies were burned were made of wood. Cassius had written so much, that Horace sportively gives it as a rumor, that his books formed his funeral pile. MCCAUL.) and papers. Let it be allowed, I say, that Lucilius was a humorous and polite writer; that he was also more correct than [Ennius], the author[*](There is a great variation in the interpretation of this passage. They may be found collected in MCCAUL's notes. ) of a kind of poetry [not yet] well cultivated, nor attempted by the Greeks, and [more correct likewise] than the tribe of our old poets: but yet he, if he had been brought down by the Fates to this age of ours, would have retrenched a great deal from his writings: he would have pruned off every thing that transgressed the limits of perfection; and, in the composition of verses, would often have scratched his head, and bit his nails to the quick.

You that intend to write what is worthy to be read more than once, blot frequently: and take no pains to make the multitude admire you, content with a few [judicious] readers. What, would you be such a fool as to be ambitious that your verses should be taught in petty schools? That is not my case. It is enough for me, that the knight [Maecenas] applauds: as the courageous actress, Arbuscula, expressed herself, in contempt of the rest of the audience, when she was hissed [by the populace]. What, shall that grubworm Pantilius[*](Pantilius. A buffoon, and a great enemy of Horace, whom he calls Cimex, an insect, out of contempt. Fannius is the same of whom he speaks in Satire iv. ) have any effect upon me? Or can it vex me, that Demetrius carps at me behind my back? or because the trifler Fannius, that hanger-on to Hermogenes Tigellius, attempts to hurt me? May Plotius and Varius, Maecenas and Virgil, Valgius and Octavius[*](Octavius. An excellent poet and historian. The Visci were two brothers, and both senators. Bibulus was the son of him that had been consul in 695, and Servius the son of Servius Sulpicius, who corresponded with Cicero. Furnius was consul in the year 737, and equally master of the pen and the sword.) approve these Satires, and the excellent Fuscus likewise; and I could wish that both the Visci would join in their commendations: ambition apart, I may mention you, O Pollio: you also, Messala, together with your brother; and at the same time, you, Bibulus and Servius; and along with these you, candid Furnius; many others whom, though men of learning and my friends, I purposely omit — to whom I could wish these Satires, such as they are, may give satisfaction; and I should be chagrined, if they pleased in a degree below my expectation. You, Demetrius, and you, Tigellius, I bid lament among the forms of your female pupils.

Go, boy, and instantly annex this Satire to the end of my book.