THE poets Eupolis, and Cratinus, and Aristophanes, and others, who are authors of the ancient comedy,[*](Comoedia prisca. Comedy was divided into ancient and modern. In the first, the subject and the names of the actors were real. In the second, the drama was formed on history, but the names of the actors were invented. In the third, both the story and actors were formed by the poet.) if there was any person deserving to be distinguished for being a rascal or a thief, an adulterer or a cut-throat, or in any shape an infamous fellow, branded him with great freedom. Upon these [models] Lucilius entirely depends, having imitated them, changing only their feet[*](Mutatis pedibus. Ennius and Pacuvius had written satires before Lucilius. He was rather the restorer than inventor of this kind of poetry; he formed himself upon the Grecian comedy, and only changed the measure of his verse, hexameter for iambics.) and numbers: a man of wit, of great keenness,[*](Emunctae naris. Of a sagacious, penetrating genius, to discover the follies of mankind, and of an agreeable, spirited, raillery, to turn them into ridicule, facetus. Such is the character of Lucilius by Cicero and Quintilian: perurbanum and abunde salis.) inelegant in the composition of verse: for in this respect he was faulty; he would often, as a great feat, dictate two hundred verses in an hour, standing in the same position. As he flowed muddily, there was [always] something that one would wish to remove; he was verbose, and too lazy to endure the fatigue of writing-of writing accurately: for, with regard to the quantity [of his works], I make no account of it. See! Crispinus challenges me even for ever so little a wager.[*](Minimo me provocat. We should understand pignore or pretio; nor is there any instance in the Latin tongue of provocare minimo digito, as the commentators explain it. A man well assured of the truth of what he asserts, is willing to bet a large wager against a small one, which Horace means by minimo provocare.) Take, if you dare, take your tablets, and I will take mine; let there be a place, a time, and persons appointed to see fair play: let us see who can write the most. The gods have done a good part by me, since they have framed me of an humble and meek disposition, speaking but seldom, briefly: but do you, [Crispinus,] as much as you will, imitate air which is shut up in leathern bellows, perpetually puffing till the fire softens the iron. Fannius is a happy man, who, of his own accord, has presented his manuscripts[*](Ultro delatis capsis. When a poet was generally esteemed, his works and his statue were placed in the public libraries. But Horace congratulates Fannius upon the happiness of finding a method of immortalizing his name, without being obliged to pass through the usual forms. He thought he had a right to take an honor, which he was conscious he deserved, and perhaps imagined it a proper manner of resenting the public insensibility of his merit.) and picture [to the Palatine Apollo]; when not a soul will peruse my writings, who am afraid to rehearse in public, on this account, because there are certain persons who can by no means relish this kind [of satiric writing], as there are very many who deserve censure. Single any man out of the crowd; he either labors under a covetous disposition, or under wretched ambition. One is mad in love with married women, another with youths; a third the splendor of silver captivates: Albius is in raptures with brass; another exchanges his merchandize from the rising sun, even to that with which the western regions are warmed: but he is hurried headlong through dangers, as dust wrapped up in a whirlwind; in dread lest he should lose any thing out of his capital, or [in hope] that he may increase his store. All these are afraid of verses, they hate poets. "He has hay on his horn,[*](Faenum habet in cornu. A metaphorical expression taken from a custom of tying hay on the horns of a mischievous bull. The laws of the Twelve Tables ordered, that the owner of the beast should pay for what damages it committed, or deliver it to the person injured. Si quadrupes pauperiem faxit, dominus sarcito, noxaeve dedito. ) [they cry;] avoid him at a great distance: if he can but raise a laugh for his own diversion, he will not spare any friend: and whatever he has once blotted upon his paper, he will take a pleasure in letting all the boys and old women know, as they return from the bakehouse or the lake." But, come on, attend to a few words on the other side of the question.
In the first place, I will except myself out of the number of those I would allow to be poets: for one must not call it sufficient to tag a verse: nor if any person, like me, writes in a style bordering on conversation, must you esteem him to be a poet. To him who has genius, who has a soul of a diviner cast, and a greatness of expression, give the honor of this appellation. On this acount some have raised the question, whether comedy be a poem or not; because an animated spirit and force is neither in the style, nor the subject-matter: bating that it differs from prose by a certain measure, it is mere prose. But [one may object to this, that even in comedy] an inflamed father rages, because his.dissolute son, mad after a prostitute mistress, refuses a wife with a large portion; and (what is an egregious scandal) rambles about drunk with flambeaux by day-light. Yet could Pomponius, were his father alive, hear less severe reproofs! Wherefore it is not sufficient to write verses merely in proper language; which, if you take to pieces, any person may storm in the same manner as the father in the play. If from these verses which I write at this present, or those that Lucilius did formerly, you take away certain pauses and measures, and make that word which was first in order hindermost, by placing the latter [words] before those that preceded [in the verse]; you will not discern the limbs of a poet, when pulled in pieces, in the same manner as you would were you to transpose ever so [these lines of Ennius]:
[*](Literally, "After that dreadful discord burst asunder the iron bound doors and gates of war.")
When discord dreadful bursts the brazen bars, And shatters iron locks to thunder forth her wars.
So far of this matter; at another opportunity [I may investigate] whether [a comedy] be a true poem or not: now I shall only consider this point, whether this [satiric] kind of writing be deservedly an object of your suspicion. Sulcius the virulent, and Caprius hoarse with their malignancy, walk [openly], and with their libels too [in their hands]; each of them a singular terror to robbers: but if a man lives honestly and with clean hands, he may despise them both. Though you be like highwaymen, Coelus and Byrrhus, I am not [a common accuser], like Caprius and Sulcius; why should you be afraid of me? No shop nor stall holds my books, which the sweaty hands of the vulgar and of Hermogenes Tigellius may soil. I repeat to nobody, except my intimates, and that when I am pressed; nor any where, and before any body.
There are many who recite their writings in the middle of the forum; and who [do it] while bathing: the closeness of the place, [it seems,] gives melody to the voice. This pleases coxcombs, who never consider whether they do this to no purpose, or at an unseasonable time. But you, says he, delight to hurt people, and this you do out of a mischievous disposition. From what source do you throw this calumny upon me? Is any one then your voucher, with whom I have lived? lie who backbites his absent friend; [nay more,] who does not defend, at another's accusing him; who affects to raise loud laughs in company, and the reputation of a funny fellow who can feign things he never saw; who can not keep secrets; he is a dangerous man: be you, Roman, aware of him. You may often see it [even in crowded companies], where twelve sup together on three couches; one of which shall delight at any rate to asperse the rest, except him who furnishes the bath;[*](Praeter eum, qui praebet aquam. Their host, who provided water for the bath; a part of their entertainment to express the whole.) and him too afterward in his liquor, when truth-telling Bacchus opens the secrets of his heart. Yet this man seems entertaining, and well-bred, and frank to you, who are an enemy to the malignant: but do I, if I have laughed bccause the fop Rufillus smells all perfumes, and Gorgonius, like a he-goat, appear invidious and a snarler to you? If by any means mention happen to be made of the thefts of Petillius Capitolinus[*](The ancient commentator tells us, that Petillius was governor of the Capitol, from whence he was called Capitolinus; that he was accused of stealing a golden crown of Jupiter, and acquitted by the favor of Augustus. If there be any truth in this story, for we know not where the commentator found it, he was more probably surnamed from his theft, than for his government of the Capitol.) in your company, you defend him after your manner: [as thus,] Capitolinus has had.me for a companion and a friend from childhood, and being applied to, has done many things on my account: and I am glad that he lives secure in the city; but I wonder, notwithstanding, how he evaded that sentence. This is the very essence of black malignity,[*](Properly, "the juice of the cuttle-fish.") this is mere malice itself: which crime, that it shall be far remote from my writings, and prior to them from my mind, I promise, if I can take upon me to promise any thing sincerely of myself. If I shall say any thing too freely, if perhaps too ludicrously, you must favor me by your indulgence with this allowance. For my excellent father inured me to this custom, that by noting each particular vice I might avoid it by the example [of others]. When he exhorted me that I should live thriftily, frugally, and content with what he had provided for me; don't you see, [would he say,] how wretchedly the son of Albius lives? and how miserably Barrus? A strong lesson to hinder any one from squandering away his patrimony. When he would deter me from filthy fondness for a light woman: [take care, said he,] that you do not resemble Sectanus.