Miles Gloriosus

Plautus, Titus Maccius

Plautus. The Comedies of Plautus, Volume 1. Riley, H. T., translator. London: G. Bell and Sons, Ltd., 1912.

  1. Would you know for certain?
SCELEDRUS
  1. I should like to.
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. Go you this instant into your own house: see whether your lady is within.
SCELEDRUS
  1. Very well: you’ve advised me rightly. I’ll be out again to you this instant. Goes into the CAPTAIN’S house.
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. I’ faith, I never saw any man more cleverly fooled, and by more singular devices. But here he is coming.
Enter SCLEDRUS from the CAPTAIN’s house.
SCELEDRUS
  1. Periplecomenus, by Gods and men, and by my own folly, and by your knees! I do beseech you—
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. What now?
SCELEDRUS
  1. Pardon my ignorance and my folly; now, at length, I know that I am half-witted, blind, and thoughtless; for, behold! Philocomasium is at home.
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. How, then, hang-dog[*](Hang-dog: Furcifer.Literally, bearer of the furca. Slaves are repeatedly thus called in these plays, as, by way of punishment for their misdeeds, they were compelled to carry a furca, or two pieces of wood shaped like the letter V, round their necks, with their hands tied to the ends of the instrument.). Have you seen them both?
SCELEDRUS
  1. I have seen them.
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. I wish you to bring your master to me.
SCELEDRUS
  1. Indeed, I confess that I deserve a very great punishment; and I own that I have done a wrong to your lady guest. But I thought that she was the lady of my master, to whom the Captain, my master, gave me as a keeper; for it is not possible for water ever to be drawn more like to water from the same well, than is she to this lady guest of yours. And I will confess, as well, that I did look through the skylight into your house.
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. Why shouldn’t you confess what I saw myself?
SCELEDRUS
  1. And there saw in your house this lady guest of yours, kissing.
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. You saw her?
SCELEDRUS
  1. I saw her. Why should I deny what I did see? But I fancied that I had seen Philocomasium.
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. And did you suppose me to be the very vilest of all men, in allowing[*](In allowing: The old gentleman must surely have changed colour when he said this.), with my own knowledge, such an injury so glaringly to be done to my neighbour?
SCELEDRUS
  1. Now, at length, I am of opinion that it was done foolishly by me, when I come to understand the matter; but still I did not do it with any ill intent.
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. Yes, but ’twas improperly done; for it befits a person that is a servant to keep his eyes, and hands, and talk, asleep.
SCELEDRUS
  1. Now, if after this day I mutter anything, even what I know for certain, give me over to torture; I’ll give myself up to you. This time, prithee, do pardon me for this.