Miles Gloriosus

Plautus, Titus Maccius

Plautus. The Comedies of Plautus, Volume 1. Riley, H. T., translator. London: G. Bell and Sons, Ltd., 1912.

  1. Go, bring me a sword out here.
SCELEDRUS
  1. I’ll have it here this moment. Goes into the CAPTAIN’S house.
PALAESTRIO alone.
PALAESTRIO
  1. Beyond a doubt, neither any horse nor foot has so great a degree of boldness in carrying out anything with as much confidence as some women. How cleverly and how skilfully she performed her part in both her characters!—how her wary keeper, my fellow-servant, is being gulled! ’Tis most fortunate that the passage communicates through the party-wall.
Enter SCLEDRUS from the CAPTAIN’s house.
SCELEDRUS
  1. Hallo! Palaestrio, there’s no occasion for the sword.
PALAESTRIO
  1. How so?—or what’s the matter now?
SCELEDRUS
  1. Our master’s lady is there, at home.
PALAESTRIO
  1. What? At home?
SCELEDRUS
  1. She’s lying on the sofa.
PALAESTRIO
  1. Faith, but you’ve certainly brought on yourself a disagreable affair, according to what you report.
SCELEDRUS
  1. How so?
PALAESTRIO
  1. Inasmuch as you have dared to touch that lady next door here.
SCELEDRUS
  1. I’ faith, I fear it much. But no one shall ever make her to be any other than her own twin-sister.
PALAESTRIO
  1. ’twas she, in troth, that you saw toying: and, in fact, ’tis plain that it is she, as you remark.
SCELEDRUS
  1. What was there more likely than that I should have been undone, if I had spoken of it to my master.
PALAESTRIO
  1. Then, if you’re wise, you’ll hold your tongue. It befits a servant to know of more than he speaks. I’m going to leave you, that I may not at all participate in your designs. And I shall go to our neighbour here; these turmoils of yours don’t please me. My master, if he comes, should he inquire for me, I shall be there; send for me next door. Goes into the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.
SCLEDRUS, alone.
SCELEDRUS
  1. Well, he’s off; nor cares he any more for his master’s business than if he were not in his service. For sure she really is now here in-doors in the house, for I myself found her just now lying down in our house. I am resolved now to employ myself in watching. Places himself against the CAPTAIN’S door.
Enter PERIPLECOMENUS from his house.
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. Faith, but these men here, these servants of my neighbour the Captain, take me not to be a man, but a woman, so much do they trifle with me. My lady guest, who came here yesterday from Athens with the gentleman, my guest, is she to be mauled about and made fun of here in the street—a lady, free-born and free?
SCELEDRUS
  1. aside. By my troth, I’m undone. He’s coming in a straight line up towards me. I fear that this matter may cause me great trouble, so far as I have heard this old gentleman speak.
PERIPLECOMENUS
  1. I’ll up to this fellow. Was it you, Sceledrus, source of mischief, that were just now making fun of my lady guest before the house?
SCELEDRUS
  1. Good neighbour, listen, I beg.