Miles Gloriosus
Plautus, Titus Maccius
Plautus. The Comedies of Plautus, Volume 1. Riley, H. T., translator. London: G. Bell and Sons, Ltd., 1912.
- How cleverly the good soul has described their bad manners.
- I have not said a hundredth part of what I could have enlarged upon had there been leisure for the matter.
- The business, then, that we are about—to that we ought first to turn our thoughts. Do you both, now, give me your attention. I have need, Periplecomenus, of your assistance; for I have hit upon a pleasant trick, how this Captain with his long locks may be fleeced quite close[*](Be fleeced quite close: By his mention of the Captain’s long locks, he seems to intend a pun on the word admutilo, to bamboozle or cajole, which, literally, signifies to clip, or shave close.), and how we may effect a means for Philocomasium, and this her lover, that he may carry her off hence, and have her as his own.
- I wish this plan to be imparted to me.
- And I, wish that ring of yours to be imparted to me.
- For what purpose is it to be used?
- When I have got it, I will impart the plan of my devices.
- Take and use it. (Gives him the ring.)
- Take from me in return the plan of my contrivance that I have hit upon.
- We are listening to you with most attentive ear.
- My master is such a shocking rake among the women, that I think no one ever was his equal, nor ever will be.
- I believe the same as well.
- He boasts, too, that his beauty exceeds that of Alexander [*](Of Alexander: Alexander, from two Greek words, signifying the brave man, was one of the names of Paris, the son of Priam, who was remarkable for his beauty, which captivated Helen.); and, therefore, he says that all the women[*](All the women: The Parasite quizzes him upon this weak point in the First Act.) in Ephesus of their own accord are courting him.
- Aye, faith, many there are who could wish[*](Who could wish: The meaning of Periplecomenus seems to be that the Captain has been but too successful in his intrigues, and that many a husband could wish that what Palaestrio says were false.) that you were now telling an untruth about him. But I am convinced full well that it is as you say. For that reason, Palaestrio, do compress your words in as short a compass as ever you possibly can.
- Can you, then, find any woman of agreable person, whose mind and body are full of merriment and subtlety?
- Free by birth, or bondwoman made free?
- I consider that a matter of indifference, so that you find one who is greedy for gain, who supports her body by her charms, who has, too, her senses all awake; as for her heart, that cannot be so, as none of them have one.
- Do you want one that has[*](One that has: Some Commentators think that lautamhere means one who has borne children, and who has bathed (lautus fuerit), as was the custom immediately after delivery. As, however, Palaestrio has said before that the female required must be a Courtesan, it surely could not matter whether she had had children or not. It probably means either one of elegant manners, and who has made good use of her experience, in contradistinction to a novice, who is a mere raw country wench, or else one in easy circumstances, and not a mere pauper.) taken her degrees, or one as yet a novice in the art?
- One sober but plump[*](Sober but plump: His answer is, he wants to find a woman who is sicca, probably in the sense of sober; but, as the same word means dry, he adds, antithetically, at succidam, but juicy, full of the plumpness and briskness of youth. Scaliger absolutely thinks that siccameans one not given to the habit of spitting.!!), a juicy bit; as taking a one as ever you can find, and one very young.