Miles Gloriosus
Plautus, Titus Maccius
Plautus. The Comedies of Plautus, Volume 1. Riley, H. T., translator. London: G. Bell and Sons, Ltd., 1912.
- I shall subdue my feelings, so as to think that it was not done by you with malicious intent. I will pardon you in this matter.
- May the Gods bless you, then!
- Troth now, as the Gods may prosper you, really do restrain your tongue henceforth; even that which you do know, don’t know, and don’t you see what you do see.
- You counsel me aright; so I’m resolved to do. Are you quite appeased?
- Away with you.
- Is there aught else you now require of me?
- That you would know me not. Makes as if he is departing.
- aside. He has been cajoling me. How kindly he vouchsafed his favour not to be angry. I know what plan he is upon: that directly the Captain returns home from the Forum, I may be caught at home. He and Palaestrio together have me in their power: I have perceived that, and for some time I’ve known it. I’ faith, never will I be seeking a bait this day from out of that wicker-net[*](That wicker-net: The nassawas a contrivance, by means of joining willow rods, for catching fish. It was probably somewhat in the shape of a large bottle with a narrow mouth, which was placed with a bait in it, facing the current of the stream. See the Halieuticon of Ovid, l. 11.). For now somewhither will I betake myself, and for some days will I lie concealed until this turmoil is hushed and their resentment is softened. Enough punishment for my unlucky prating have I already merited. But still, whatever befals me I’ll be off hence home. Goes into the CAPTAIN’S house.
PERIPLECOMENUS, alone.PERIPLECOMENUS
- So he has departed hence. I’ faith, I know right well, that a dead pig full oft has more relish[*](Has more relish: He puns on the word sapis;and probably this was a common saying of the day. Sapiomeans either to be wise, or to have a relishing flavour. Now, inasmuch as the flesh of the pig is of a relishing nature, it may be very truly said, that it has more of the sapit in it when dead than alive. In reference to Sceledrus, he seems to mean that he will prove of much more use to their plan now he is bewildered and half deprived of his senses, than when in full possession of his faculties; and that, in fact, so far as their object is concerned, there will be more of the sapit in him now than there was before.) by far than a living one: so bamboozled has he been, that he did not see what he really did see. For his eyes, and ears, and thoughts have come over to us. So far, ’tis right cleverly managed; the lady has played her part most excellently. I’ll go back again to my Senate[*](To my Senate: He calls his fellow-plotters in the mischief, namely, Palaestrio, Philocomasium, and Pleusicles, his Senate, which is now meeting in consultation. When sitting in deliberation, the Senate was said to be frequenswhich may be rendered sitting, or full.); for Palaestrio is now at home in my house, and now Sceledrus is gone from the door. A full Senate can now be held. I’ll go in; lest while I am absent, there should be a distribution[*](Be a distribution: Sortitusor sortitiowas the distribution by the Senate of the Roman provinces among the Proconsuls. He keeps up the Metaphor of the Senate, and says, that he must make haste, or all the provinces will be distributed; or, in other words, that each party will have agreed on the part he has to play, and will leave him nothing to do.) of their parts among them. Goes into his house.
Enter PALAESTRIO from the house of PERIPLECOMENUS.PALAESTRIO
- on entering he calls to PLEUSICLES and PERIPLECOMENUS, who are in the house of the latter. Keep yourselves within[*](Keep yourselves within: There was but one Scene throughout the representation of each Roman Comedy. In the present instance, the Scene is in front of the houses of Periplecomenus and the Captain. Nothing can more strikingly show the absurdity of such a plan than the present instance: where Palaestrio comes out of the house of Periplecomenus, for the very purpose, right in front of the house of his own master, of holding a conversation and completing his plot with Pleusicles and Periplecomenus, for the purpose of deceiving his master and carrying off his mistress. With machinery so defective, it is only surprising that the writer completed his task so well as he has done.) doors, yet a moment, Pleusicles. Let me first look out, that there may be no ambush anywhere, against that council which we intend to hold. For now we have need of a safe place from which no enemy can win the spoils of our counsels. For a well-devised plan is very often filched away, if the place for deliberating has not been chosen with care or with caution; and what is well-advised is ill-advised if it proves of use to the enemy; and if it proves of use to the enemy, it cannot otherwise than prove a detriment to yourself. For if the enemy learn your plans, by your own self-same plans they tie your tongue and bind your hands; and they do the very same to you that you intended to do to them. But I’ll spy about, lest any one, either in this direction on the left or on the right, should come like a huntsman on our counsels with his ears like toils[*](Ears like toils.:—Auritis plagis, literally toils with ears.). Looks about. Quite vacant is the prospect hence right to the bottom of the street. I’ll call them out. Hallo! Periplecomenus and Pleusicles, come out!
Enter PERIPLECOMENUS and PLEUSICLES from the house of the former.PERIPLECOMENUS PALAESTRIO PERIPLECOMENUS PLEUSICLES PERIPLECOMENUS PALAESTRIO PLEUSICLES PERIPLECOMENUS PLEUSICLES PERIPLECOMENUS
- Behold us here obedient to your call.
- The sway is easy over the good. But I wish to know, if we are to carry out the matter on the same plan that we formed within?
- Why, in fact there’s nothing can be more conducive to our purpose. Well, what say you, Pleusicles?
- Can that displease me which pleases yourselves? What person is there more my friend than your own self?
- You speak kindly and obligingly.
- Faith, and so he ought to do.
- But this affair shockingly distresses me, and torments my very heart and body.
- What is it that torments you? Tell me.
- That I should cause childish actions in a person of your years, and that I should require of you deeds that neither become yourself nor your virtues; and that, with all your might, for my sake you are striving to aid me in my passion, and are doing actions of such a kind, as, when done, these years of yours are wont rather to avoid than follow. I am ashamed that I cause you this trouble in your old age.
- You are a person in love after a new fashion. If, in fact, you are ashamed of anything you do, you are nothing of a lover. You are rather the shadow of those who are in love, than a true lover, Pleusicles.