Memorabilia

On a man who was angry because his greeting was not returned: Ridiculous! he exclaimed; you would not have been angry if you had met a man in worse health; and yet you are annoyed because you have come across someone with ruder manners!

On another who declared that he found no pleasure in eating: Acumenus, he said, has a good prescription for that ailment. And when asked What? he answered, Stop eating; and you will then find life pleasanter, cheaper, and healthier.

On yet another who complained that the drinking water at home was warm: Consequently, he said, when you want warm water to wash in, you will have it at hand.But it’s too cold for washing, objected the other.Then do your servants complain when they use it both for drinking and washing?Oh no: indeed I have often felt surprised that they are content with it for both these purposes.Which is the warmer to drink, the water in your house or Epidaurus water?[*](The hot spring in the precincts of Asclepius’ temple at Epidaurus.)Epidaurus water.And which is the colder to wash in, yours or Oropus water?[*](The spring by the temple of Amphiaraus at Oropus in Boeotia.)Oropus water.Then reflect that you are apparently harder to please than servants and invalids.

When someone punished his footman severely, he asked why he was angry with his man.Because he’s a glutton and he’s a fool, said the other: he’s rapacious and he’s lazy.Have you ever considered, then, which deserves the more stripes, the master or the man?

When someone was afraid of the journey to Olympia, he said:Why do you fear the distance? When you are at home, don’t you spend most of the day in walking about? on your way there you will take a walk before lunch, and another before dinner, and then take a rest. Don’t you know that if you put together the walks you take in five or six days, you can easily cover the distance from Athens to Olympia? It is more comfortable, too, to start a day early rather than a day late, since to be forced to make the stages of the journey unduly long is unpleasant; but to take a day extra on the way makes easy going. So it is better to hurry over the start than on the road.

When another said that he was worn out after a long journey, he asked him whether he had carried a load.Oh no, said the man; only my cloak.Were you alone, or had you a footman with you?I had.Empty-handed or carrying anything?He carried the rugs and the rest of the baggage, of course.And how has he come out of the journey?Better than I, so far as I can tell.Well then, if you had been forced to carry his load, how would you have felt, do you suppose?Bad, of course; or rather, I couldn’t have done it.Indeed! do you think a trained man ought to be so much less capable of work than his slave?