Deipnosophistae

But indeed, no one even of the comic poets has said such things as Plato has said about Socrates, neither that he was the son of a very fierce-looking nurse, nor that Xantippe was an ill-tempered woman, who even poured slops over his head; nor that Alcibiades slept with him under the same cloak; and yet this must have been divulged with boisterous laughter by Aristophanes, as he was present at the banquet according to Plato's account; for Aristophanes would never have suppressed such a circumstance as that, which would have given such a colour to the charge that he corrupted the youth.

Aspasia, indeed, who was the clever preceptress of Socrates in rhetoric, in these verses which are attributed to her, which Herodicus the Cratetian has quoted, speaks thus—

1. As. O Socrates, most clearly do I see
2. How greatly you're inflamed by tender love
3. For the young son of Clinias and Dinomache;
4. But if you wish to prosper list to me,
5. And do not scoff at my advice, but follow it,
6. And it shall be the better for your suit.
7. Soc. I when I heard your speech was so o'erjoy'd
8. That straightway sweat did overflow each limb;
9. And tears unbidden pour'd forth from my eyes.
10. As. Restrain yourself, and fill your mind with strains
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11. Such as the Muse who conquers men will teach you,
12. And you will charm him by your dulcet songs.
13. They the foundation lay of mutual love.
14. And thus will you o'ercome him, fettering
15. His mind with gifts with which his ears are charm'd

The admirable Socrates then goes a hunting, having the Milesian woman for his tutor in love. But he himself is not hunted, as Plato says, having nets spread for him by Alcibiades. And indeed, he laments without ceasing, being, as I suppose, unsuccessful in his love. For Aspasia, seeing in what a condition he was, says—

1. Why weep you, my dear Socrates? does love
2. For that impracticable boy which dwells
3. Within thy breast, and shoots from out his eyes,
4. So far thy heart subdue? Did I in vain
5. Engage to make him docile to thy suit

And that he really did love Alcibiades Plato shows plainly in the Protagoras, although he was now little less than thirty years of age; for he speaks in this manner,

'Whence are you come from, O Socrates? It seems to me you are come from your pursuit of Alcibiades's beauty. And, indeed, the man, when I saw him the other day, appeared to me to be a handsome man; a man, indeed, O Socrates, as he may well be called, just as much so as we are; and he has a firmly grown beard.' ' Well, what of that? are not you an admirer of Homer, who said that the most beautiful season of life was that of a young man who began to have a beard? And that is just the age of which Alcibiades is now.'

But most philosophers are of such a disposition that they are more inclined to evil speaking than the Comic writers. Since both Aeschines, the pupil of Socrates, in his Telauges, attacks Critobulus the son of Crito. as an ignorant man, and one who lives in a sordid manner; and he attacks Telauges himself for wearing a cloak borrowed of a clothes' cleaner by the day for half an obol; and for being girt about with a skin, and for having his sandals fastened with rotten pieces of string. And as for Lysias the orator he laughs immoderately at him; and in his Aspasia, he calls Hipponicus, the son of Callias, a blockhead; and taking all the women of Ionia in a lump he calls them lascivious and covetous. But his Callias dwells upon the quarrel of Callias with his own father, and the absurd jokes of the sophist Prodicus and

Anaxagoras. For he says that Prodicus had Theramenes for a pupil to finish his education; and that the other had Philoxenus, the son of Eryxis, and Ariphrades, the brother of Arignotus, the harp-player, wishing from the notorious impurity of life of the men who have been named and their general want of respectability and intemperance to leave the sort of education they received from their tutors to be inferred. But in his Axiochus he runs Alcibiades down with great bitterness, as a drunkard, and a man always running after other men's wives.

But Antisthenes, in the second of his treatises called Cyrus, abusing Alcibiades, says that he is a breaker of the laws, both with respect to women and with respect to every other part of his conduct in life; for he says that he had intrigued with a mother, and daughter, and sister, after the fashion of the Persians. And his Political Dialogue runs down the whole of the Athenian demagogues: and his Archelaus attacks Gorgias, the rhetorician; and his Aspasia attacks Xanthippus and Paralus, the sons of Pericles. For, as for one of them, he says that he is a companion of Archestratus, who is no better than a frequenter of houses of the worst possible fame; and the other he calls an acquaintance and intimate friend of Euphemus, who abused every one he met with vulgar and ill-mannered abuse. And nicknaming Plato Satho, in a witless and vulgar manner, he published a dialogue against him, to which he gave the same name as its title.

For these men believe that there is no such thing as an honest counsellor, or a conscientious general, or a respectable sophist, or a poet worth listening to, or a reasonable people: but Socrates, who spent his time in loose houses with the flute-playing women of Aspasia, and who was always chatting with Piston the armourer, and who gave lessons to Theodote the courtesan, how she ought to make the most of her lovers, as Xenophon tells us in the second book of his Memorabilia, is the only wise man according to them; for they represent him as giving Theodote such rules as neither Nico the Samian, nor Callistrate the Lesbian, nor Philænis the Leucadian, nor even Pythonicus the Athenian, were ever acquainted with as charms to conciliate affection. And yet those people paid much attention to such things. And time would fail me if I were to be inclined to quote the attacks which philosophers

have made on people; for, as the same Plato says, a regular crowd of Gorgons and Pegasi, and other monsters, keeps flowing in upon me in immense numbers, and of preposterous appearance, so that I will keep silence.

When Masurius had said this, and when all had admired his wisdom, after silence was restored Ulpian said,— You seem to me, O guests, to be overwhelmed with impetuous speeches which come upon you unexpectedly, and to be thoroughly soaked in unmixed wine;—

1. For a man drinking wine, as a horse does water,
2. Speaks like a Scythian, not knowing even koppa,
3. But voiceless, lies immersed in a cask,
4. And sleeps as if he'd drunk medicinal poppy;

as says Parmeno the Byzantian. Have you been all turned into stone by the before-mentioned Gorgons? Concerning whom, that there really have been some animals who were the causes of men being turned into stone, Alexander the Myndian speaks at length, in the second book of his History of Beasts, saying—

The Nomades in Libya (where it is born) call the animal named the Gorgon, 'The Looking-down:' and it is as most people say, conjecturing from its skin, something like a wild sheep; but as some say, it is like a calf. And they say that it has such a breath that it destroys every one who meets it; and that it has a mane let down from its forehead over its eyes, and when it has shaken it aside, which it does with difficulty by reason of it weight, and then looks out through it, it slays the man who is beheld by it, not by its breath, but by some natural violence which proceeds from its eyes. And it was discovered in this way: Some of the soldiers of Marius, in his expedition against Jugurtha, having beheld the Gorgon, thought because it held its head down, and moved slowly, that it was a wild sheep, and in consequence they rushed upon it, intending to kill it with the swords which they had about them; but it, being disturbed, shaking aside the mane which hung down over its eyes, immediately caused the death of those who were rushing upon it. And when others again and again did the same thing, and lost their lives by so doing, and when all ho proceeded against it were invariably killed, some of the soldiers inquired the nature of the animal from the natives; and by the command of Marius some Nomad horsemen laid an

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ambush against it from a distance, and shot it with darts, and returned to the camp, bringing the dead monster to the general.

And that this account is the true one, the skin and the expedition of Marius both prove. But the statement made by the historian is not credible, namely, that there are in Libya some oxen which are called Opisthonomi,[*](῎ὄπισθε, behind; νέμω, to feed.) because they do not advance while feeding, but feed constantly returning backwards, for their horns are a hindrance to their feeding in the natural manner, inasmuch as they are not bent upwards, as is the case with all other animals, but they bend downwards and overshadow the eyes; for this is incredible, since no other historian testifies to such a circumstance.

When Ulpian had said this, Laurentius bearing witness to the truth of his statement, and adding something to his speech, said, that Marius sent the skins of these animals to Rome, and that no one could conjecture to what animal they belonged, on account of the singular appearance which they presented; and that these skins were hung up in the temple of Hercules, in which the generals who celebrate a triumph give a banquet to the citizens, as many poets and historians of our nation have related. You then, O grammarians, as the Babylonian Herodicus says, inquiring into none of these matters—

1. Fly ye to Greece along the sea's wide back,
2. Pupils of Aristarchus, all more timid
3. Than the pale antelope, worms hid in holes,
4. Monosyllabic animals, who care
5. For σφὶν, and σφῶιν, and for μὶν, and νὶν,
6. This shall be your lot, grumblers—but let Greece
7. And sacred Babylon receive Herodicus.

For, as Anaxandrides the comic writer says—

1. 'Tis sweet when one has plann'd a new device,
2. To tell it to the world. For those who are
3. Wise for themselves alone have, first of all,
4. No judge to criticize their new invention.
5. And envy is their portion too: for all,
6. That seems to be commended by its novelty,
7. Should be imparted freely to the people.

And when this conversation had terminated, most of the guests took their departure secretly, and so broke up the party.