Deipnosophistae

Athenaeus of Naucratis

Athenaeus. The Deipnosophists or Banquet Of The Learned Of Athenaeus. Yonge, Charles Duke, translator. London: Henry G. Bohn, 1854.

Sea-urchins are tender, full of pleasant juice, with a strong smell, filling, and apt to turn on the stomach; but if eaten with sharp mead, and parsley, and mint, they are good for the stomach, and sweet, and full of pleasant juice. But the sweet-tasted are the red ones, and the apple-coloured, and the thickest, and those which if you scrape their flesh emit a milky liquid. But those which are found near Cephalenia and around Icaria, and in the Adriatic are—at least many of them are—rather bitter; but those which are taken on the rock of Sicily are very aperient to the bowels.
But Aristotle says that there are many kinds of sea-urchins: one of which is eaten, that, namely, in which is found what are called eggs. But the other two kinds are those which are called Spatangi, and those which are called Brysæ: and Sopron mentions the spatangi, and so does Aristophanes in his Olcades, using the following language:—
  1. Tearing up, and separating, and licking
  2. My spatange from the bottom.
And Epicharmus, in his Marriage of Hebe, speaks o the sea-urchins, and says—
v.1.p.152
  1. Then came the crabs, sea-urchins, and all fish
  2. Which know not how to swim in the briny sea,
  3. But only walk on foot along the bottom.
And Demetrius the Scepsian, in the twenty-sixth book of his Trojan Preparation, says that a Lacedæmonian once being invited to a banquet, when some sea-urchins were put before him on the table, took one, not knowing the proper manner in which it should be eaten, and not attending to those who were in the company to see how they ate it. And so he put it in his mouth with the skin or shell and all, and began to crush the sea-urchin with, his teeth; and being exceedingly disgusted with what he was eating, and not perceiving how to get rid of the roughness of the taste, he said,
O what nasty food! I will not now be so effeminate as to eject it, but I will never take you again.
But the sea-urchins, and indeed the whole echinus tribe, whether living on land or sea, can take care of and protect themselves against those who try to catch them, putting out their thorns, like a sort of palisade. And to this Ion the Chian bears testimony in his Phœnix or in his C$aneus, saying—

  1. But while on land I more approve the conduct
  2. Of the great lion, than the dirty tricks
  3. Of the sea-urchin; he, when he perceives
  4. The impending onset of superior foes,
  5. Rolls himself up, wrapped in his cloak of thorns,
  6. Impregnable in bristly panoply.

Of limpets,
says Diphilus, "some are very small, and some are like oysters. But they are hard, and give but little juice, and are not very sharp in taste. But they have a pleasant flavour, and are easily digested; and when boiled they are particularly nice. But the pinnæ are diuretic, nutritious, not very digestible, or manageable. And the ceryces are like them; the necks of which fish are good for the stomach, but not very digestible; on which account they are good for people with weak stomachs, as being strengthening; but they are difficult to be secreted, and they are moderately nutritious. Now the parts of them which are called the mecon, which are in the lower part of their bellies, are tender and easily digested; on which account they also are good for people who are weak in the stomach. But the purple-fish are something between the pinna and the ceryx;
v.1.p.153
the necks of which are very juicy, and very pleasant to the palate; but the other parts of them are briny, and yet sweet, and easily digestible, and mix very well with other food. But oysters are generated in rivers, and in lakes, and in the sea. But the best are those which belong to the sea, when there is a lake or a river close at hand: for they are full of pleasant juice, and are larger and sweeter than others: but those which are near the shore, or near rocks, without any mixture of mud or water, are small, harsh, and of pungent taste. But the oysters which 'are taken in the spring, and those which are taken about the beginning of the summer, are better, and full, and have a sort of sea taste, not unmixed with sweetness, and are good for the stomach and easily secreted; and when boiled up with mallow, or sorrel, or with fish, or by themselves, they are nutritious, and good for the bowels.

But Mnesitheus the Athenian, in his treatise on Comestibles, says—"Oysters, and cockles, and mussels, and similar things, are not very digestible in their meat, because of a sort of saline moisture which there is in them, on which account, when eaten raw, they produce an effect on the bowels by reason of their saltness. But when boiled they get rid of all, or at all events of most, of their saltness, which they infuse into the water which boils them. On which account, the water in which any of the oyster tribe are boiled is very apt to have a strong effect in disordering the bowels. But the meat of the oysters when boiled, makes a great noise when it has been deprived of its moisture. But roasted oysters, when any one roasts them cleverly, are very free from any sort of inconvenience; for all the evil properties are removed by fire; on which account they are not as indigestible as raw ones, and they have all the moisture which is originally contained in them dried up; and the is the moisture which has too great an effect in relaxing the bowels. But every oyster supplies a moist and somewhat in digestible kind of nourishment, and they are not at all good as diuretics. But the sea-nettle, and the eggs of sea-urchins, and such things as that, give a moist nourishment, though not in any great quantity; but they have a tendency to relax the bowels, and they are diuretic.

Nicander the Colophonian, in his book on the Farm, enumerates all the following kinds of oysters—

v.1.p.154
  1. And all the oysters which the foaming brine
  2. Beneath its vasty bosom cherishes,
  3. The periwinkle, whilk, pelorias,
  4. The mussel, and the slimy tellina,
  5. And the deep shell which makes the pinna's hole.
And Archestratus says, in his Gastronomy—
  1. Aenus has mussels fine, Abydus too
  2. Is famous for its oysters; Parium produces
  3. Crabs, the bears of the sea, and Mitylene periwinkles;
  4. Ambracia in all kinds of fish abounds,
  5. And the boar-fish sends forth: and in its narrow strait
  6. Messene cherishes the largest cockles.
  7. In Ephesus you shall catch chemæ, which are not bad,
  8. And Chalcedon will give you oysters. But may Jupiter
  9. Destroy the race of criers, both the fish born in the sea,
  10. And those wretches which infest the city forum;
  11. All except one man, for he is a friend of mine,
  12. Dwelling in Lesbos, abounding in grapes; and his name is Agatho.
And Philyllius, or whoever is the author of the book called The Cities, says,
Chemæ, limpets, solens, mussels, pinnas and periwinkles from Methymna:
but ὄστρειον was the only form of the name for all these fish among the ancients. Cratinus says in his Archilochi—
  1. Like the pinna or the oyster (ὄστρειον).
And Epicharmus says, in his Marriage of Hebe—
  1. Oysters which have grown together.
Where he uses the same form ὄστρειον. But afterwards the form ὄστρεον like ὄρνεον began to be used. Plato, in his Phædrus, says,
bound together like oysters
(ὄστρεον). And in the tenth book of his Politia, he says,
oysters (ὄστρεα) stuck together;
oysters (ὄστρεα) and seaweed.
But the peloris, or giant mussel, were so named from the word πελώριος, vast. For it is much larger than the cheme, and very different from it. But Aristotle says that they are generated in the sand. And Ion the Chian mentions the chema, in his Epidemiæ, and perhaps the shell-fish got the name of χήμη παρὰ τὸ κεχῃνέναι, from opening their mouths."

But concerning the oysters which are grown in the Indian Ocean; (for it is not unreasonable to speak of them, on account of the use of pearls;) Theophrastus speaks in his treatise on Precious Stones, and says,

But among the stones which are much admired is that which is called the pearl, being transparent in its character; and they make very
v.1.p.155
expensive necklaces of them. They are found in an oyster which is something like the pinna, only less. And in size the pearl resembles a large fish's eye.
Androsthenes, too, in his Voyage along the Coast of India, writes in thee terms— "But of strombi, and chærini, and other shell-fish, there are many different varieties, and they are very different from the shell-fish which we have. And they have the purple-fish, and a great multitude of other kinds of oysters. There is also one kind which is peculiar to those seas, which the natives call the berberi, from which the precious stone called the pearl comes. And this pearl is very expensive in Asia, being sold in Persia and the inland countries for its weight in gold. And the appearance of the oyster which contains it is much the same as that of the cteis oyster, only its shell is not indented, but smooth and shaggy. And it has not two ears as the cteis oyster has, but only one. The stone is engendered in the flesh of the oyster, just as the measles are in pork. And it is of a very golden colour, so as mot easily to be distinguished from gold when it is put by the side of it; but some pearls are of a silvery appearance, and some are completely white like the eyes of fish. But Chares of Mitylene, in the seventh book of his Histories of Alexander, Says—
There is caught in the Indian sea, and also off the coast of Armenia, and Persia, and Susiana, and Babylonia, a fish very like an oyster; and it is large and oblong, containing within the shell flesh which is plentiful and white, and very fragrant, from which the men pick out white bones which they call the pearl. And they make of them necklaces and chains for the hands and feet, of which the Persians are very fond, as are the Medes and all Asiatics, esteeming them as much more valuable than golden ornaments.

But Isidorus the Characene, in his Description of Parthia, says, that "in the Persian sea there is an island where a great number of pearls are found; on which account there are quantities of boats made of rushes all about the island, from which men leap into the sea, and die down twenty fathoms, and bring up two shells. And they say that when there is a long continuance of thunder-storms, and heavy falls of rain, then the pinna produces most young, and then, too, the greatest quantity of pearls is engendered, and those, too, of the finest size and quality. In the winter

v.1.p.156
the pinna is accustomed to descend into chambers at the very bottom of the sea; but in summer they swim about all night with their shells open, which they close in the day-time: and as many as stick to the crags, or rocks, throw out roots, and remaining fixed there, they generate pearls. But they are supported and nourished by something which adheres to their flesh: and this also sticks to the mouth of the cockle, having talons and bringing it food: and it is something like a little crab, and is called the guardian of the pinna. And its flesh penetrates through the centre of the cockleshell, like a root: and the pearl being generated close to it, grows through the solid portion of the shell, and keeps growing as long as it continues to adhere to the shell. But when the flesh gets under the excrescence, and cutting its way onwards, gently separates the pearl from the shell, then when the pearl is surrounded by flesh, it is no longer nourished so far as to grow at all; but the flesh makes it smoother, and more transparent, and more pure. And so, too, the pinna, which lives at the bottom, engenders the most transparent sort of pearl; and it produces them also very pure and of large size. But that which keeps near the surface, and is constantly rising, is of a smaller size and a worse colour, because it is affected by the rays of the sun. But those who hunt for pearls are in danger when they hastily put their hand into the opening of the shell, for immediately the fish closes its shell, and very often their fingers are sawn off; and sometimes they die immediately. But all those who put in their hand sideways easily draw off the shells from the rock. And Menander makes mention of Emeralds also, in his Little Boy–
  1. There must be an emerald and a sardonyx.
And the word for emerald is more correctly written μάραγδος, without a ς. For it is derived from the verb μαρμαίρω, to glisten, because it is a transparent stone.

After this conversation some dishes were set on the table, full of many kinds of boiled meat: feet, and head, and ears, and loins; and also entrails, and intestines, and tongues; as is the custom at the places which are called boiled meat shops at Alexandria. For, O Ulpian, the word ἑφθοπώλιον, a boiled meat shop, is used by Posidippus, in his Little Boy. And again, while they were inquiring who had ever

v.1.p.157
named any of these dishes, one of the party said, Aristo- phanes mentions entrails as things which are eatable, in his Knights—
  1. I say that you are selling tripe and paunches
  2. Which to the revenue no tithe have paid.
And presently after he adds—
  1. Why, my friend, hinder me from washing my paunches,
  2. And from selling my sausages? Why do you laugh at me?
And again he says—
  1. But I, as soon as I have swallow'd down
  2. A bullock's paunch, and a dish of pig's tripe,
  3. And drunk some broth, won't stay to wash my hands,
  4. But will cut the throats of the orators, and will confuse Nicias.
And again he says—
  1. But the Virgin Goddess born of the mighty Father
  2. Gives you some boiled meat, extracted from the broth,
  3. And a slice of paunch, and tripe, and entrails.
And Cratinus, in his Pluti, mentions jawbones of meat—
  1. Fighting for a noble jawbone of beef.
And Sophocles, in the Amycus, says—
  1. And he places on the table tender jawbones.
And Plato, in his Timæus, writes,
And he bound up some jawbones for them, so as to give the appearance of a whole face.
And Xenophon says, in his book on Horsemanship,
A small jawbone closely pressed.
But some call it, not σιαγὼν, but ὑαγὼν, spelling the word with a v, saying that it is derived from the word ὑς. Epicharmus also speaks of tripe, χορδαὶ as we call it, but he calls it ὄρυαι, having given one of his plays the title of Orya. And Aristophanes, in his Clouds, writes—
  1. Let them prepare a dish of tripe, for me
  2. To set before these wise philosophers.
And Cratinus, in his Pytina, says—
  1. How fine, says he, is now this slice of tripe.
And Eupolis speaks of it also, in his Goats. But Alexis, either in his Leucadia or in his Runaways, says—
  1. Then came a slice and good large help of tripe.
And Antiphanes, in his Marriage, says—
  1. Having cut out a piece of the middle of the tripe.

v.1.p.158

And as for feet, and ears, and even noses of beasts, they are all mentioned by Alexis, in his Crateua or the Physic-seller. And I will adduce a slight proof of that presently, which contains a good many of the names about which we are inquiring. Theophilus says, in his Pancratiast—

  1. A. There are here near three minas' weight of meat
  2. Well boiled.
  3. B. What next
  4. A. There is a calf's nose, and
  5. A heel of bacon, and four large pig's-feet.
  6. B. A noble dish, by Hercules!
  7. A. And three calves-feet.
And Anaxilas says, in his Cooks—
  1. A. I would much rather roast a little fish,
  2. Than here repeat whole plays of Aeschylus.
  3. B. What do you mean by little fish Do you intend
  4. To treat your friends as invalids? 'Twere better
  5. To boil the extremities of eatable animals,
  6. Their feet and noses.
And Anaxilas says, in the Circe—
  1. For having an unseemly snout of pig,
  2. My dear Cinesias.
And in the Calypso—
  1. Then I perceived I bore a swine's snout.
Anaxandrides has mentioned also ears in the Satyrus. And Axionicus says, in his Chalcis—
  1. I am making soup,
  2. Putting in well-warm'd fish, and adding to them
  3. Some scarce half-eaten fragments; and the pettitoes
  4. Of a young porker, and his ears; the which I sprinkle
  5. With savoury assafœtida; and then
  6. I make the whole into a well-flavour'd sausage,
  7. A meat most saleable. Then do I add a slice
  8. Of tender tripe; and a snout soak'd in vinegar.
  9. So that the guests do all confess, the second day
  10. Has beaten e'en the wedding-day itself.
And Aristophanes says, in his Proagon—
  1. Wretch that I am, I've eaten tripe, my son:
  2. How can I bear to see a roasted snout?
And Pheretrates says, in his Trifles—
  1. Is not this plainly now a porker's snout?
And there is a place which is called ʽπ̔ύγχος, or Snout, near Stratos, in Aetolia, as Polybius testifies, in the sixth book of his Histories. And Stesichorus says, in his Boar Hunting—
  1. To hide the sharpened snout beneath the earth.
v.1.p.159
And we have already said that the word ῥύγχος properly applies only to the snout of a swine; but that it is sometimes used for the nose of other animals, Archipphus has proved, saying in jest, in his Second Amphitryon, of the human face—
  1. And this, too, though you have so long a nose (ῥύγχος).
And Araros says, in his Adonis—
  1. For the god turns his nose towards us.

And Aristophanes makes mention of the extremities of animals as forming a common dish, in his Aeolosicon—

  1. And of a truth, plague take it, I have boil'd
  2. Four tender pettitoes for you for dinner.
And in his Gerytades he says—
  1. Pig's pettitoes, and bread, and crabs.
And Antiphanes says, in his Corinthia—
  1. A. And then you sacrifice a pig's extremities
  2. To Venus,—what a joke!
  3. B. That is your ignorance;
  4. For she in Cyprus is so fond of pigs,
  5. O master, that she drove away the herd
  6. Of swine from off the dunghill where they fed,
  7. And made the cows eat dirt instead of them.
But Callimachus testifies that, in reality, a pig is sacrificed to Venus; or perhaps it is Zenodotus who says so in his Historic Records, writing thus,
The Argives sacrifice a pig to Venus, and the festival at which this takes place is called Hysteria.
And Pherecrates says, in his Miners—
  1. But whole pig's feet of the most tender flavour
  2. Were placed at hand in dishes gaily adorned,
  3. And boil'd ears, and other extremities.
And Alexis says, in his Dice Players—
  1. But when we had nearly come to an end of breakfast,
  2. And eaten all the ears and pettitoes.
And he says again, in his Pannuchis or in his Wool-waavers—
  1. This meat is but half roasted, and the fragments
  2. Are wholly wasted; see this conger eel,
  3. How badly boiled; and as for the pettitoes,
  4. They now are wholly spoilt.
And Pherecrates also speaks of boiled feet, in his Slave-master—
  1. A. Tell us, I pray you now then, how the supper
  2. Will be prepared.
  3. B. Undoubtedly I will.
  4. v.1.p.160
  5. In the first place, a dish of well-minced eel;
  6. Then cuttle-fish, and lamb, a slice of rich
  7. Well-made black pudding; then some pig's feet boil'd;
  8. Some liver, and a loin of mutton,
  9. And a mighty number of small birds; and cheese
  10. In honey steep'd, and many a slice of meat.
And Antiphanes says, in his Parasite—
  1. A. The well-warm'd legs of pigs.'
  2. B. A noble dish,
  3. I swear by Vesta.
  4. A. Then some boiled cheese
  5. Bubbled upon the board.
And Ecphantides says, in his Satyrs—
  1. It is no great hardship, if it must be so,
  2. To buy and eat the boil'd feet of a pig.
And Aristophanes speaks of tongue as a dish, in his Tryers, ill the following words—
  1. I've had anchovies quite enough; for I
  2. Am stretch'd almost to bursting while I eat
  3. Such rich and luscious food. But bring me something
  4. Which shall take off the taste of all these dainties.
  5. Bring me some liver, or a good large slice
  6. Of a young goat. And if you can't get that,
  7. Let me at least have a rib or a tongue,
  8. Or else the spleen, or entrails, or the tripe
  9. Of a young porker in last autumn born;
  10. And with it some hot rolls.

Now when all this conversation had taken place on these subjects, the physicians who were present would not depart without taking their share in it. For Dionysiocles said, Mnesitheus the Athenian, in his book about Comestibles, has said,

The head and feet of a pig have not a great deal in them which is rich and nutritious.
And Leonidas writes, "Demon, in the fourth book of his Attica, says that Thymœtes, his younger brother, slew Apheidas, who was king of Athens, he himself being a bastard, and usurped the kingdom. And in his time, Melanthus the Messenian was banished from his country, and consulted the Pythia as to where he should dwell: and she said wherever he was first honoured by gifts of hospitality, when men set before him feet and a head for supper. And this happened to him at Eleusis; for as the priestesses happened at the time to be solemnizing one of their national festivals, and to have con-
v.1.p.161
sumed all the meat, and as nothing but the head and feet of the victim were left, they sent them to Melanthius.

Then a paunch[*](The pun in the original cannot be preserved in a translation. The Greek word for paunch is μήτρα. ) was brought in, which may be looked upon as a sort of metropolis, and the mother of the sons of Hippocrates, whom I know to have been turned into ridicule by the comic poets on account of their swinish disposition. And Ulpian, looking upon it, said,—Come now, my friends, whom does the paunch lie with? For we have now been minding the belly long enough, and it is time for us now to have some real conversation. And as for these cynics, I bid them be silent, now that they have eaten abundantly, unless they like to gnaw some of the cheeks, and heads, and bones, which no one will grudge their enjoying like dogs, as they are; for that is what they are, and what they are proud of being called.

  1. The remnants to the dogs they're wont to throw,
Euripides says, in his Cretan Women. For they wish to eat and drink everything, never considering what the divine Plato says in his Protagoras,
That disputing about poetry, is like banquets of low and insignificant persons. For they, because they are unable in their drinking parties to amuse one another by their own talents, and by their own voices and conversation, by reason of their ignorance and stupidity, make female flute-players of great consequence, hiring at a high price sounds which they cannot utter themselves, I mean the music of flutes, and by means of this music they are able to get on with one another. But where the guests are gentlemanly, and accomplished, and well educated, you will not see any flute-playing women, or dancing women, or female harpers, but they are able themselves to pass the time with one another agreeably, without all this nonsense and trifling, by means of their own voices, speaking and hearing one another in turn with all decency, even if they drink a great deal of wine.
And this is what all you Cynics do, O Cynulcus; you drink, or rather you get drunk, and then, like flute-players and dancing-women, you prevent all the pleasure of conversation:
living,
to use the words of the same Plato which he utters in his Philebus,
not the life of a man, but of some mollusk, or of some other marine animal which has life in a shell-encased body.

v.1.p.162

And Cynulcus, being very angry, said,—You glutton of a man, whose god is your belly, you know nothing else yourself, nor are you able to keep up an uninterrupted conversation, nor to recollect any history, nor to begin anything which may tend to throw a charm on any discussion. But you have been wasting all the time with questions of this sort,

Is there such and such a statement? Is there not? Has such and such a thing been said? Has it not been said?
And you attack and examine closely everything which occurs in anything which is said, collecting all your thorns—living continually
  1. As if among thistles, or plants of rough borage—-
never collecting any sweet flowers. Are you not the person who call that which is called by the Romans strena, being so named in accordance with some national tradition, and which is accustomed to be given to friends, epinomis? And if you do this in imitation of Plato, we should be glad to learn it; but if you find that any one of the ancients has ever spoken in such a manner, tell us who it is who has. For I know that there is some part of a trireme which is called epinomis, as Apollonius states in his treatise on what relates to Triremes. Are not you the man who called your new stout cloak, which had never yet been used by you, (for the proper name of it, my friend, is really φαινόλης,) useless? saying—
My slave Leucus, give me that useless cloak.
And once going to the bath, did not you say to a man who asked you, Whither now? I am going, said you, ἀπολούμενος (pronouncing the word as if it meant to kill yourself rather than to bathe). And that very day your beautiful garment was purloined from you by some bath robbers; so that there was great laughter in the bath, at this useless cloak being hunted for. At another time too, O my dear friends, (for the plain truth shall be told you,) he tripped against a stone and dislocated his knees. And when he was cured he again came into public: and when men asked him, What is the matter, O Ulpian? he said it was a black eye. And I (for I was with him at the time) being then unable to restrain my laughter, got anointed under the eyes with some thick ointment by a physician who was a friend of mine, and then said to those who asked me, What is the matter with you, that I had hurt my leg.

There is also another imitator of the same wisdom,

v.1.p.163
Pompeianus the Philadelphian; a man not destitute of shrewdness, but still a terrible wordcatcher: and he, conversing with his servant, calling him by name with a loud voice, said—
Strombichides, bring me to the gymnasium those intolerable slippers (he used the word ἀφορήτους, intending it to mean what he had never worn) and my useless (he used the word ἄχρηστος, by which he meant which he had never used) cloak. For I, as soon as I have bound up my beard, shall address my friends. For I have got some roast fish. And bring me a cruet of oil. For first of all we will be crushed (he used the word συντριβησόμεθον, meaning to say we will rub ourselves well), and then we will be utterly destroyed (his word was ἀπολούμεθον, and he meant to say we will have a bath).
And this same sophist, in the month of February, as the Romans call it, (and Juba the Mauritanian says that this month has its name[*](Ovid gives the following derivation of the name February:Februa Romani dixere piamina patres,Nunc quoque dant verbo plurima signa fidemPontifices ab rege petunt et Flamine lanas,Queis veteri lingua Februa nomen erat.Quæque capit lictor domibus purgamina certisTorrida cum mica farra vocantur idem.Nomen idem ramo qui casus ab arbore purâCasta sacerdotum tempora fronde tegit.Ipse ego Flaminicam poscentem Februa vidi;Februa poscenti pinea virga data est.Denique quodcunque est quo pectora nostra piamurHoc apud intonsos nomen habebat avos.Mensis ab his dictus, secta quia pelle LuperciOmne solum lustrant, idque piamen habent.Aut quia placatis sunt tempora pura sepulchris.Tunc cum ferales præteriere dies.—Ov. Fasti, ii. 19. (See Ovid, vol. i. p. 46, Bohn's Classical Library.)) from the terrors caused by the spirits under the earth, and from the means used to get rid of those fears, at which season the greatest severity of winter occurs, and it is the custom of them to offer libations for many days to those who are dead:) in the month of February, I say, he said to one of his friends—
It is a long time since you have seen me, because of the heat.
And when the festival of the Panathenæa was being celebrated, during which the courts of justice do not assemble, he said—
This is the birthday of the virgin goddess Minerva,
(but he pronounced the word ἀλέκτορος, as if he had meant of the cock of Minerva,)
and this day is unjust,
(for he
v.1.p.164
called it ἄδικος, though he meant the word to have the sense of being a holiday for the courts of law). And once he called a companion of ours who came back from Delphi without having received an answer from the god, ἄχρηστον, (which never means anything but useless, but he used the word for unanswered). And once when he was making a public display of his eloquence, and going through a long panegyric on the Queen of cities, he said, Most admirable is the Roman dominion, and ἀνυπόστατος (he meant irresistible).[*](It is not quite clear what the blunder was, for ἀνυπόστατος means irresistible. Aretæus uses the word for unsubstantial, which is perhaps what Athenæus means to say Pompeianus called Rome.)

Such now, my friends, are Ulpian's companions, the sophists; men who call even the thing which the Romans call miliarium, that is to say, a vessel designed to prepare boiling water in, ἰπνολέβης, an oven-kettle; being manufac- turers of many names, and far outrunning by many para-sangs the Sicilian Dionysius: who called a virgin μένανδρος (from μένω and ἀνὴρ), because she is waiting for a husband; and a pillar μενεκράτης (from μένω and κράτος), because it remains and is strong. And a javelin he called βαλλάντιον, because (ἄντιον βάλλεται) it is thrown against something; and mouse-holes he called μυστήρια, mysteries, (from τηρεῖν τοὺς μῦς because they keep the mice. And Athanis, in the first book of his History of the Affairs of Sicily, says that the same Dionysius gave an ox the name of γαρότας; and a pig he called ἴακχος. And Alexarchus was a man of the same sort, the brother of Cassander, who was king of Macedonia, who built the city called Uranopolis. And Heraclides Lembus speaks concerning him in the seventh book of his Histories, and says,

Alexarchus, who founded the city Uranopolis, imported many peculiar words and forms of speaking into the language: calling a cock ὀρθροβόας, or he that crows in the morn; and a barber βροτοκέρτης, or one who cuts men; and a drachm he called ἀργυρὶς, a piece of silver; and a chœnix he called, ἡμεροτροφὶς, what feeds a man for a day; and a herald he called ἀπύτης, a bawler. And once he wrote a letter to the magistrates of the Cassandrians in this form:[*](I have followed Casaubon's advice in not attempting to translate this letter, who marvels that interpreters have endeavoured to translate it, for what can wasting time be, if this is not?And Schweighaeuser says that he will not attempt to explain it further, lest he should seem to be endeavoring to appear wiser than Apollo.)—ʼἀλέξαρχος ὁ μάρμων πρόμοις
v.1.p.165
γαθεῖν. τοὺς ἡλιοκρεῖς οἰῶν οἶδα λιποῦσα θεωτῶν ἔργων κρατήτορας μορσίμῳ τύχᾳ κεκυρωμένας θεοῦ πόγαις χυτλώσαντες αὐτοὺς, καὶ φύλακας ὀριγένεις.
But what that letter means think that even the Pythian Apollo himself could hardly tell. For, as Antiphanes says, in his Cleophanes,—
  1. What is it then to be a tyrant, (or
  2. What would you call pursuing serious things,)
  3. In the Lyceum with the sophists; by Jove,
  4. They are but thin and hungry joyless men.
  5. And say the thing does not exist if now
  6. It is produced; for that is not as yet,
  7. Nor can already be produced, which now
  8. Is caused afresh. Nor if it did exist
  9. Before, can it be now made to exist.
  10. For there is nothing which has no existence.
  11. And that which never yet has taken place,
  12. Is not as if it had, since it has not.
  13. For it exists from its existence; but
  14. If there is no existence, what is there
  15. From which it can exist? The thing's impossible;
  16. And if it's self-existent, it will not
  17. Exist again. And one perhaps may say,
  18. Let be; whence now can that which has no being
  19. Exist, what can become of it? What all this means
  20. I say that e'en Apollo's self can't tell.

I know too that Simonides the poet, somewhere or other, has called Jupiter ʼἀρίσταρχος, (meaning ἄριστος ἄρχων, best of rulers;) and Aeschylus calls Pluto ʼἀγησίλαος, (from ἄγειν τὸν λαὸν, collecting the people;) and Nicander the Colophonian called the asp, the animal, ἰοχέαιρα, poisonous, (from ἰὸς, poison, and χέω, to emit; though the word is usually applied to Diana in the sense of shooting arrows, because ἰὸς also means an arrow.)

And it is on account of these tricks and others like them that the divine Plato, in his Politics, after having said that some animals live on the dry land, and others in the water, and also, that there are some classes which are fed on dry food, others on moist food, and others which graze, giving the names of ξηροβατικὰ and ὑγροβατικὰ, and again, of ξηροτροφικὰ, ὑγροτροφικὰ and ξηρονομικὰ to the different minds of animals, according as they live on the land, or in the water, or in the air—adds, by way of exhortation to those manufacturers of names to guard against novelty, the following sentence, word for word:—

And if you take care not to appear too anxious in making new names you will continue to old
v.1.p.166
age with a greater reputation for prudence.
But I know that Herodes Atticus, a rhetorician, named the piece of wood which was put through his wheels when he was going in his chariot down steep places, τροχοπέδης, (as a fetter to the wheels.) Although Simaristus, in his Synonymes, had already given this piece of wood the name of ἐποχλεὺς, or the drag. And Sophocles the poet, in some one of his works, called a guardian a bolt, saying—
  1. Be of good cheer, I am a mighty bolt
  2. To keep this fear away from you.
And, in another place, he has given an anchor the name of ἰσχὰς or the holder, because it κατέχει, holds the ship—
  1. And the sailors let out the holder of the ship.
And Demades the orator said that Aegina was the
eyesore of the Peiræus,
and that Samos was
a fragment broken off from the city.
And he called the young men
the spring of the people;
and the wall he called
the garment of the city;
and a trumpeter he entitled
the common cock of the Athenians.
But this word-hunting sophist used all sorts of' far more far-fetched expressions. And whence, O Ulpian, did it occur to you to use the word κεχορτασμένος for satiated, when κορέω is the proper verb for that meaning, and χορτάζω means to feed?

In reply to this Ulpian said with a cheerful laugh,— But do not bark at me, my friend, and do not be savage with me, putting on a sort of hydrophobia, especially now that this is the season of the dog-days. You ought rather to fawn upon and be gentle towards your messmates, lest we should institute a festival for dog killing, in the place of that one which is celebrated by the Argives. For, my most sagacious gentleman, χορτάζομαι is used by Cratinus in his Ulysseses in this way:—

  1. You were all day glutting yourselves with white milk.
And Menander, in his Trophonius, uses the word χορτασθεὶς in the same sense. And Aristophanes says in his Gerytades—
  1. Obey us now, and glut us with your melodies.
And Sophocles in his Tyro has—
  1. And we received him with all things which satisfy (πάγχοοτα).
And Eubulus in his Dolon—
  1. I, O men, have now been well-satisfied (κεχόρτασμαι),
  2. And I am quite well filled; so that I could
  3. v.1.p.167
  4. With all my energy but just contrive
  5. To fasten on my sandals.
And Sophilus says in his Phylarchus—
  1. There will be an abundant deal of eating.
  2. I see the prelude to it;-I shall surely be
  3. Most fully satisfied; indeed, my men,
  4. I swear by Bacchus I feel proud already.
And Amphis says in his Uranus—
  1. Sating herself till eve with every dainty.

Now these statements, O Cynulcus, I am able to produce without any preparation; but to-morrow, or the day after, for that (ἔνη) is the name which Hesiod gave to the third day, I will satiate you with blows, if you do not tell me in whose works the word κοιλιοδαίμων, Belly-god, is to be found. And as he made no answer,—-But, indeed, I myself will tell you this, O Cynic, that Eupolis called flatterers this, in his play of the same name. But I will postpone any proof of this statement until I have paid you the blows I owe you.

And so when every one had been well amused by these jokes,—But, said Ulpian, I will also give you now the statement about paunches which I promised you. For Alexis, in his play which is entitled Ponticus, jesting in a comic manner, says that Callimedon the orator, who was surnamed the Crab (and he was one of those who took part in the affairs of the state in the time of Demosthenes the orator)-

  1. Every one is willing to die for his country (πάτρας):
  2. And for a boiled paunch (μήτρας) Callimedon,
  3. The dauntless crab, would very probably
  4. Dare to encounter death.
And Callimedon was a man very notorious for his fondness for dainties.

And Antiphanes also speaks of launches in his Philometor, using these words—

  1. While the wood has pith in it (ἔμμητρον) it puts forth shoots.
  2. There is a metropolis but no patropolis.
  3. Some men sell paunches (μῆτραι), a delicious food.
  4. Metras, the Chian, is dear to the people.
And Euphron says in his Paradidomena—
  1. But my master having prepared a paunch
  2. Set it before Callimedon; and when he ate it
  3. It made him leap with joy; from which he earn'd
  4. The name of crab.
v.1.p.168
And Dioxippus in his Antipornoboscus—
  1. What food doth he delight in! Dainty is he!
  2. Most dainty in his eating, paunches, sausages!
And in his Historiographer, he says—
  1. Amphides burst in the porch and made himself a way in;
  2. Holding up two paunches fine, See for what I'm paying,
  3. Said he, and send me all you have, or all that you can find me.
And Eubulus says in his Deucalion—
  1. Liver, and tripe, and entrails, aye, and paunches.

But Lynceus the Samian, the friend of Theophrastus, was acquainted with the use of paunches when eaten with Cyrenaic sauce. And accordingly, writing an account of the Banquet of Ptolemy, he says:—

A certain paunch having been brought round in vinegar and sauce.
Antiphanes, too, mentions this sauce in his Unhappy Lovers, speaking of Cyrene—
  1. I sail back to the self-same harbour whence
  2. We previously were torn; and bid farewell
  3. To all my horses, friends, and assafœtida,
  4. And two horse chariots, and to cabbages,
  5. And single-horses, and to salads green,
  6. And fevers, and rich sauces.
And how much better a paunch of a castrated animal is, Hipparchus, who wrote the book called The Aegyptian Iliad, tells us in the following words—
  1. But above all I do delight in dishes
  2. Of paunches and of tripe from gelded beasts,
  3. And love a fragrant pig within the oven.
And Sopater says in his Hippolytus—
  1. But like a beauteous paunch of gelded pig
  2. Well boil'd and white, and basted with rich cheese.
And in his Physiologus he says—
  1. 'Tis not a well boil'd slice of paunch of pig
  2. Holding within a sharp and biting gravy.
And in his Silphæ he says—
  1. That you may eat a slice of boil'd pig's paunch,
  2. Dipping it in a bitter sauce of rue.

But the ancients were not acquainted with the fashion of bringing on paunches, or lettuces, or anything of the sort, before dinner, as is done now. At all events Archestratus, the inventor of made dishes, as he calls himself, says that

v.1.p.169
pledges in drinking, and the use of ointments, are introduced after supper—
  1. And always at the banquet crown your head
  2. With flowing wreaths of varied scent and hue,
  3. Culling the treasures of the happy earth;
  4. And steep your hair in rich and reeking odours,
  5. And all day long pour holy frankincense
  6. And myrrh, the fragrant fruit of Syria,
  7. On the slow slumb'ring ashes of the fire:
  8. Then, when you drink, let slaves these luxuries bring—
  9. Tripe, and the boiled paunch of well-fed swine,
  10. Well soak'd in cummin juice and vinegar,
  11. And sharp, strong-smelling assafœtida;
  12. Taste, too, the tender well-roast birds, and game,
  13. Whate'er may be in season. But despise
  14. The rude uncivilized Sicilian mode,
  15. Where men do nought but drink like troops of frogs,
  16. And eat no solid seasoning. Avoid them.
  17. And seek the meats which I enjoin thee here.
  18. All other foods are only signs and proofs
  19. Of wretched poverty: the green boil'd vetch,
  20. And beans, and apples, and dried drums of figs.
  21. But praise the cheesecakes which from Athens come;
  22. And if there are none, still of any country
  23. Cheesecakes are to be eaten; also ask
  24. For Attic Honey, the feast's crowning dish—
  25. For that it is which makes a banquet noble.
  26. Thus should a free man live, or else descend
  27. Beneath the earth, and court the deadly realms
  28. Of Tartarus, buried deep beneath the earth
  29. Innumerable fathoms.

But Lynceus, describing the banquet given by Lamia, the female flute-player, when she entertained Demetrius Poliorcetes, represents the guests the moment they come to the banquet as eating all sorts of fish and meat; and in the same way, when speaking of the feast given by Antigonus the king, when celebrating the Aphrodisiac festival, and also one given by King Ptolemy, he speaks of fish as the first course; and then meat.

But one may well wonder at Archestratus, who has given us such admirable suggestions and injunctions, and who was a guide in the matter of pleasure to the philosopher Epicurus, when he counsels us wisely, in a manner equal to that of the bard[*](Hesiod.) of Ascra, that we ought not to mind some people, but only attend to him; and he bids us eat such

v.1.p.170
and such things, differing in no respect from the cook in Damoxenus the comic writer, who says in his Syntrophi—
  1. A. You see me here a most attentive pupil
  2. Of Epicurus, wisest of the Greeks,
  3. From whom in two years and ten months or less,
  4. I scraped together four good Attic talents.
  5. B. What do you mean by this I pray thee, tell me,
  6. Was he a cook, my master That is news.
  7. A. Ye gods! and what a cook! Believe me, nature
  8. Is the beginning and the only source
  9. Of all true wisdom. And there is no art
  10. At which men labour, which contains more wisdom.
  11. So this our art is easy to the man
  12. Who has drunk deep of nature's principles;
  13. They are his guides: and therefore, when you see
  14. A cook who is no scholar, nor has read
  15. The subtle lessons of Democritus,
  16. (Aye and he must remember them besides,)
  17. Laugh at him as an ass; and if you hire one
  18. Who knows not Epicurus and his rules,
  19. Discharge him straightway. For a cook must know,
  20. (I speak the words of sober truth, my friend,)
  21. How great the difference is in summer time
  22. Between the glaucisk of the winter-season;
  23. He must know all the fish the Pleiades
  24. Bring to us at their setting; what the solstice,
  25. Winter and summer, gives us eatable—
  26. For all the changes and the revolutions
  27. Are fraught with countless evil to mankind,
  28. Such changes do they cause in all their food.
  29. Dost thou not understand me? And remember,
  30. Whatever is in season must be good.
  31. B. How few observe these rules.
  32. A. From this neglect
  33. Come spasms, and the flatulence which ill
  34. Beseems a politic guest;-but all the food
  35. I give my parties, wholesome is, and good,
  36. Digestible and free from flatulence.
  37. Therefore its juice is easily dissolved,
  38. And penetrates the entire body's pores.
  39. B. Juice, say you? This is not known to Democritus.
  40. A. But all meats out of season make the eater
  41. Diseased in his joints.
  42. B. You seem to me,
  43. To have studied too the art of medicine.
  44. A. No doubt, and so does every one who seeks
  45. Acquaintance with his nature's mysteries.
  46. But see now, I do beg you by the gods,
  47. How ignorant the present race of cooks are.
  48. When thus you find them ignorant of the smell
  49. v.1.p.171
  50. Of all the varied dishes which they dress,
  51. And pounding sesame in all their sauce.
  52. What can be bad enough for such sad blunderers
  53. B. You seem to speak as any oracle.
  54. A. What good can e'er arise, where every quality
  55. Is jumbled with its opposite in kind,
  56. How different so ever both may be?
  57. Now to discern these things is art and skill,
  58. Not to wash dishes nor to smell of smoke.
  59. For I do never enter a strange cook-shop,
  60. But sit within such a distance as enables
  61. My eyes to comprehend what is within.
  62. My friends, too, do the same; I tell them all
  63. The causes and results. This bit is sour,
  64. Away with it; the man is not a cook,
  65. Though he perhaps may be a music master:
  66. Put in some fire; keep an equal heat.
  67. The first dish scarcely suits the rest. Do you
  68. Not see the form of th' art?
  69. B. O, great Apollo!
  70. A. What does this seem to you?
  71. B. Pure skill; high art.
  72. A. Then I no dishes place before my guests
  73. At random; but while all things correspond
  74. I regulate the whole, and will divide
  75. The whole as best may suit, in fours, or fives;
  76. And will consult each separate division-
  77. And satisfy each party. Then again,
  78. I stand afar off and directions give;
  79. Whence bring you that? what shall you mix with this?
  80. See how discordant those two dishes are!
  81. Take care and shun such blunders. That will do.
  82. Thus Epicurus did arrange his pleasures.
  83. Thus wisely did he eat. He, only wise,
  84. Saw what was good and what its nature was.
  85. The Stoics seek in vain for such discoveries,
  86. And know not good nor what the nature may be
  87. Of good; and so they have it not; nor know
  88. How to impart it to their friends and guests.
  89. Enough of this. Do'st not agree with me?
  90. B. Indeed i do, all things are plain to me.