Callias now said,
Critobulus, are you going to refuse to enter the
lists in the beauty contest with
Socrates?Undoubtedly! said
Socrates;
for probably he notices that the procurer stands
high in the favour of the judges.
But yet in spite of
that, retorted Critobulus, I do not shun the
contest. So make your plea, if you can produce any
profound reason, and prove that you are more
handsome than I. Only, he added, let some one
bring the light close to him.
The first step, then, in
my suit, said
Socrates,
is to summon you to the preliminary hearing; be so
kind as to answer my questions.
And you proceed to put
them.
Do you hold, then, that
beauty is to be found only in man, or is it also in
other objects?Crit. In faith, my
opinion is that beauty is to be found quite as well
in a horse or an ox or in any number of inanimate
things. I know, at any rate, that a shield may be
beautiful, or a sword, or a spear.
Soc. How can it be that
all these things are beautiful when they are
entirely dissimilar?Why, they are beautiful
and fine,Critobulus, of course, gets into trouble by his
poor definition of beauty. In the Greek the
ensuing discussion is made plausible by the fact
that throughout both disputants use only one word,
καλός, which
means not only beautiful or handsome but also
glorious, noble, excellent, fine; and though
starting with the first meaning it soon shifts to
the last. The translator is compelled to use
different terms for this in the two parts of the
argument. answered Critobulus, if they are
well made for the respective functions for which we
obtain them, or if they are naturally well
constituted to serve our needs.
Soc. Do you know the
reason why we need eyes?Crit. Obviously to see
with.In that case, it would
appear without further ado that my eyes are finer
ones than yours.How so?Because, while yours see
only straight ahead, mine, by bulging out as they
do, see also to the sides.Crit. Do you mean to say
that a crab is better equipped visually than any
other creature?Soc. Absolutely; for its
eyes are also better set to insure strength.
Crit. Well, let that
pass; but whose nose is finer, yours or mine?Soc. Mine, I consider,
granting that Providence made us noses to smell
with. For your nostrils look down toward the ground,
but mine are wide open and turned outward so that I
can catch scents from all about.But how do you make a
snub nose handsomer than a straight one?Soc. For the reason that
it does not put a barricade between the eyes but
allows them unobstructed vision of whatever they
desire to see; whereas a high nose, as if in
despite, has walled the eyes off one from the
other.
As for the mouth, said
Critobulus, I concede that point. For if it is
created for the purpose of biting off food, you
could bite off a far bigger mouthful than I could.
And don’t you think that your kiss is also the more
tender because you have thick lips?
Soc. According to your
argument, it would seem that I have a mouth more
ugly even than an ass’s. But do you not reckon it a
proof of my superior beauty that the River Nymphs,
goddesses as they are, bear as their offspring the
Seileni, who resemble me more closely than they do
you?
I cannot argue any longer
with you, answered Critobulus; let them distribute
the ballots, so that I may know without suspense
what fine or punishment I must undergo. Only, he
continued, let the balloting be secret, for I am
afraid that the wealth
you and Antisthenes possess
will overmaster me.
So the maiden and the lad
turned in the ballots secretly. While this was going
on, Socrates
saw to it that the light should be brought in front
of Critobulus, so that the judges might not be
misled, and stipulated that the prize given by the
judges to crown the victor should be kisses and not
ribbons.
When the ballots were turned out of the urn and proved to
be a unanimous verdict in favour of Critobulus,
Faugh! exclaimed
Socrates;
your money, Critobulus, does not appear to resemble
Callias’s. For his makes people more honest, while
yours is about the most potent to corrupt men,
whether members of a jury or judges of a contest.