Come now, Nausistrata, after your usual way, manage to keep her in good-humor with us, and make her do of her own accord what must be done.
I will.
You are now seconding me with your endeavors, just as you assisted me with your moneyWith your money
: Colman observes: "Alluding to the money borrowed of her to pay Phormio; and as Donatus observes in another place, it is admirably contrived, in order to bring about a humorous catastrophe that Chremes should make use of his wife's money on this occasion."
I wish to do so; and yet, i' faith, through the fault of my husband, I am less able than I ought to be.
Why so?
Because, i' faith, he takes such indifferent care of the property that was so industriously acquired by my father; for from those farms he used regularly to receive two talents of silver yearly; there's an instance, how superior one man is to another.
Two talents, pray?
Aye, and when things were much worse, two talents even.
Whew!
What! does this seem surprising?
Of course it does.
I wish I had been born a man; Id have shown—
That I'm quite sure of.
In what way—
Forbear, pray, that you may be able to do battle with her; lest she, being a young woman, may be more than a match for you.
I'll do as you bid me; but I see my husband coming out of your house.
Ha! Demipho, has the money been paid him yet?
I took care immediately.
I wish it hadn't been paid him.
Why do you wish I hadn't, Chremes?
It's all right.
What say you? Have you been letting her know why we are going to bring her?
I've arranged it.
Pray, what does she say?
She can't be got to leave.
Why can't she?
Because they are fond of one another.
What's that to us?
I wonder what all this can be.
For my part, upon my faith, I don't know.
What's the matter?
That you should put so little confidence in me!
Do you wish me to believe you? Do you wish me to consider this as quite certain? Very well, be it so. Well, what's to be done with our friend'sOur friend's
: Chremes himself is so called, to deceive Nausistrata.
She'll do well enough.
Are we to drop her, then?
Why not?
The other one to stop?
Just so.
You may go then, Nausistrata.
I' faith, I think it better for all that she should remain here as it is, than as you first intended; for she seemed to me a very genteel person when I saw her.
What is the meaning of all this?
Now she has.
O Jupiter! the Gods do befriend us; I have found that it is my daughter married to your son.
Ha! How can that possibly be?
This spot is not exactly suited for me to tell it you.
Well then, step in-doors.
Hark, you, I don't wish our sons even to come to know of this.
I'm glad that, however my own affairs go, my brother has succeeded in his wishes. How wise it is to cherish desires of that nature in the mind, that when things run counter, you may easily find a cure for them! He has both got the money, and released himself from care; I, by no method, can extricate myself from these troubles; on the contrary, if the matter is concealed, I am in dread—but if disclosed, in disgrace. Neither should I now go home, were not a hope still presented me of retaining her. But where, I wonder, can I find Geta, that I may ask him what opportunity he would recommend me to take for meeting my father?
But here's Phormio.
About what?
Why—what's Phaedria going to do now? In what way does he say that he intends to take his fill of love?
In his turn, he's going to act your part.
What part?
To run away from his father; he begs that you in your return will act on his behalf—to plead his cause for him. For he's going to carouse at my house. I shall tell the old man that I'm going to Sunium, to the fair, to purchase the female servant that Geta mentioned a while since, so that, when they don't see me here, they mayn't suppose that I'm squandering their money. But there is a noise at the door of your house.
See who's coming out.
It's Geta.
O good luck
: "Fors fortuna," "good fortune;" while "fortuna" merely means "chance."
Throwing my cloak
: When expedition was required, it was usual to throw the ends of the "pallium," or "cloak," over the shoulders.
Geta!
Do you persist? Troth, you shall not on this occasion get the better of me by your annoyance.
You'll be getting a beating.
Assuredly that will befall yourself just now unless you stop, you whip-knave.
This must be some one pretty familiar, threatening me with a beating.
What's the matter?
O being most blessed of all men living! For without question, Antipho, you are the only favorite of the Gods.
So I could wish; but I should like to be told why I'm to believe it is so.
Is it enough if I plunge you into a sea of joy?
You are worrying me to death.
Nay but do have done with your promises, and tell us what you bring.
I am: but why do you delay?
Listen, then. When we just now paid you the money at the Forum, we went straight to Chremes; in the mean time, my master sent me to your wife.
What for?
I'll omit telling you that, as it is nothing to the present purpose, Antipho. Just as I was going to the woman's apartments, the boy Mida came running up to me, and caught me behind by my cloak, and pulled me back; I turned about, and inquired for what reason he stopped me; he said that it was forbidden for any one to go in to his mistress. "Sophrona has just now," said he, "introduced here Chremes, the old gentleman's brother," and he said that he was then in the room with them: when I heard this, on tip-toe I stole softly along; I came there, stood, held my breath, I applied my ear, and so began to listen, catching the conversation every word in this fashion
Well done, Geta.
Here I overheard a very pretty piece of business; so much so that I had nearly cried out for joy.
What was it?
I don't know.
Why, something most marvelous. Your uncle has been discovered to be the father of your wife, Phanium.
He formerly cohabited secretly with her mother at
A dream: how could she be ignorant about her own father?
Be sure, Phormio, that there is some reason: but do you suppose that, outside of the door, I was able to understand every thing that passed between them within?
On my faith, I too have heard the same story.
Aye, and I'll give you still further reason for believing it: your uncle in the mean time came out from there; not long after he returned again, with your father; each said that he gave you permission to retain her; in fine, I've been sent to find you, and bring you to them.
Why then carry me offCarry me off
: Madame Dacier says that Antipho is so rejoiced here at Geta's news, that he jumps upon his shoulders, and is carried off in triumph, which was a sort of stage-trick, and was very diverting to the Audience. On this, Colman observes: "I believe Madame Dacier has not the least foundation for this extraordinary piece of information; and I must confess, that I have too high an opinion, both of the Roman audience and actors, to believe it to be true."
I'll do so.
O my dear Phormio, farewell!
Farewell, Antipho.
So may the Gods bless me, this has turned out luckily. I'm glad of it, that such good fortune has thus suddenly befallen them. I have now an excellent opportunity for diddling the old men, and ridding Phaedria of all anxiety about the money, so that he mayn't be under the necessity of applying to any of his companions. For this same money, as it has been given him, shall be given for good, whether they like it or not: how to force them to this, I've fund out the very way. I must now assume a new air and countenance. But I'll betake myself off to this next alley; from that spot I'll present myself to them, when they come out of doors. I sha'n't go to the fair, where I pretended I was going.
I do give and return hearty thanks to the Gods, and with reason, brother, inasmuch as these matters have turned out for us so fortunately. We must now meet with Phormio as soon as possible, before he squanders our thirty minae, so that we may get them from him.
I'll go see if Demipho's at home; that as to whatThat as to what
: Lemaire suggests that he is about to say: "that as to what was agreed upon between us, I may take home this young woman, and make her my wife."
Perhaps about the very same affair.
Is she not genteel-looking
: Patrick has the following note here: "One can not conceive any thing more happy or just than these words of Chremes. Demipho's thoughts are wholly taken up how to recover the money, and Phormio is equally solicitous to retain it; but Chremes, who had just left his daughter, is regardless of their discourse, and fresh from the impressions which she had made on him, longs to know if his brother's sentiments of her were equally favorable, and naturally puts this paternal question to him."
Very much so.
And this is what I'm come to tell you, Demipho, that I'm quite ready; whenever you please, give me my wife. For I postponed all my other business, as was fit I should, when I understood that you were so very desirous to have it so.
Upon my faith, you are treating me in a very insulting manner.
How so?
Do you ask me? Because I shall not be able to marry the other person I mentioned; for with what face shall I return to her whom I've slighted?
Then besides, I see that Antipho is unwilling to part with her.
Then besides, I see that my son is very unwilling to part with the damsel. But have the goodness to step over to the Forum, and order this money to be transferred to my account,Transferred to my account
: "Rescribere argentum," or "nummos," meant "to transfer," or "set down money to the account of another person in one's banker's books." A passage in the Asinaria of Plautus, l. 445, seems to have the same meaning.
What, when I've paid it over to the persons to whom I was indebted?
What's to be done, then?
If you will let me have her for a wife, as you promised, I'll take her; but if you prefer that she should stay with you, the portion must stay with me, Demipho. For it isn't fair that I should be misled for you, as it was for your own sakes that I broke off with the other woman, who was to have brought me a portion just as large.
Away with you to utter perdition, with this swaggering, you vagabond. What, then, do you fancy we don't know you, or your doings?
You are provoking me.
Would you have married her, if she had been given to you?
Try the experiment.
That my son might cohabit with her at your house, that was your design.
Pray, what is that you say?
Then do you give me my money?
Nay, but do you give me my wife?
Come before a magistrate.
Why, really, if you persist in being troublesome—
What will you do?
What, I? You fancy, perhaps, just now, that I am the protector of the portionless; for the well portioned,For the well portioned
: Though Colman thinks otherwise, it is pretty clear that he alludes to Nausistrata in these words.
What's that to us?
What's the matter?
Another wife at
By whom he had a daughter; and her he is secretly bringing up.
This I shall assuredly now inform her of.
What a jest he's making of us.
Nonsense.
What would you have? We'll forgive you the money you've got,
I hear you. Why the plague, then, do you two trifle with me in this way, you silly men, with your childish speeches—"I won't, and I will; I will, and I won't," over again: "keep it, give it me back; what has been said, is unsaid; what had been just a bargain, is now no bargain."
To be carrying off
: Patrick has the following note here: "The different characters of the two brothers are admirably preserved throughout this Scene. Chremes stands greatly in awe of his wife, and will submit to any thing rather than the story should come to her ears; but Demipho can not brook the thoughts of losing so much money, and encourages his brother to behave with spirit and resolution, promising to make up matters between him and his wife."
Dlead and gone
: "E medio excedere," was an Euphemism signifying "to die," which it was deemed of ill omen to mention.
I know; let's go into court.
Into court? Here in preference
Sue him at law, then.
And another with you, Chremes.
Lay hold of him.
Is it thus you do? Why then I must exert my voice: Nausistrata, come out
See how strong the rascal is.
Will you not hold your tongue?
Hold my tongue?
Or e'en gouge out an eye. The time's coming when I shall have a full revenge on you.
Who calls my name?
My husband, pray what means this disturbance?
Who is this man? Won't you answer me?
What, he to answer you? who, upon my faith, doesn't know where he is.
'Tis nothing at all.
What is it, then, that this person is talking about?
You shall know directly; listen now.
Are you resolved to believe him?
Pray, how can I believe him, when he has told me nothing?
The poor creature is distracted from fright.
It isn't for nothing, i' faith, that you are in such a fright.
What, I in a fright?
Villain, is he to relate it at your request?
My husband, will you not tell me?
But—
But what?
There's no need to tell you.
Not for you, indeed; but there's need for her to know it. At
Ah me!
He married another—
My dear sir, may the Gods forbid it!
Such is the fact.
Wretch that I am, I'm undone!
And had a daughter by her, too, while you never dreamed of it.
What are we to do?
O immortal Gods!—a disgraceful and a wicked misdeed!
Was ever any thing now more ungenerously done? Your men, who, when they come to their wives, then become incapacitated from old age.
Demipho, I appeal to you; for with that man it is irksome for me to speak. Were these those frequent journeys and long visits at
Nausistrata, I don't deny that in this matter he has been deserving of censure; but still, it may be pardoned.
For he did this neither through neglect or aversion to yourself. About fifteen years since, in a drunken fit, he had an intrigue with this poor woman, of whom this girl was born, nor did he ever touch her afterward. She is dead and gone: the only difficulty that remained in this matter. Wherefore, I do beg of you, that, as in other things, you'll bear this with patience.
Why should I with patience? I could wish, afflicted as I am, that there were an end now of this matter. But how can I hope? Am I to suppose that, at his age, he will not offend in future? Was he not an old man then, if old age makes people behave themselves decently? Are my looks and my age more attractive now, Demipho? What do you advance to me, to make me expect or hope that this will not happen any more?
Those who have
: He here uses the terms which it was customary to employ in the celebration of a public funeral. See also the form of proclaiming an auction, at the end of the Menaechmi of Plautus.Have him victimized
: "Mactatus" was the term applied to the pouring of wine and frankincense on the victim about to be sacrificed, on which it was said to be "magis auctus," "increased," or "amplified;" which, in time, became corrupted into the word "mactatus," or "mactus."
But it was because I deserved this, I suppose; why should I now, Demipho, make mention of each particular, how I have conducted myself toward him?
I know it all, as well as yourself.
Does it appear, then, that I deserved this treatment?
Far from it: but since, by reproaching, it can not now be undone, forgive him: he entreats you—he begs your pardon—owns his fault—makes an apology. What would you have more?
What's the matter?
I got out of him thirty minae by a stratagem. I give them to your son; he paid them to a Procurer for his mistress.
Ha! what is it you say?
He shall do as you wish.
Nay, that you may now know my determination, I neither forgive nor promise any thing, nor give any answer, before I see my son: to his decision I leave every thing. What he bids me, I shall do.
You are a wise woman, Nausistrata.
Does that satisfy you, Chremes?
Yes, indeed, I come off well, and fully to my satisfaction; indeed, beyond my expectation.
What, mine? Phormio; a well-wisher to your family, upon my honor, and to your son Phaedria in particular.
Then, Phormio, on my word, henceforward I'll both do and say for you all I can, and whatever you may desire.
You speak obligingly.
I' faith, it is as you deserve.
First, then, will you do this, Nausistrata, at once, to please me, and to make your husband's eyes ache with vexation?
With all my heart.
Invite me to dinner.
Assuredly indeed, I do invite you.
Let us now away in-doors.
By all means; but where is Phaedria, our arbitrator?
I'll have him here just now. Grant us your applause
: Thus concludes the last, and certainly not the least meritorious of the Plays of our Author; indeed, for genuine comic spirit, it may challenge comparison with the Eunuch, which is in general considered to be the best.
Assuredly there is a God, who both hears and sees what we do. And I do not consider that to be true which is commonly said: "Fortune frames and fashions the affairs of mankind, just as she pleases."
O welcome, my friend; O most delightful Phormio, welcome ! There's not a person in all the world I could more wish just now to meet than yourself.
Pray, tell me what is the matter.
Aye, faith, I have to beg of you, that you will listen to it. My Pamphila is a citizen of
What is it you tell me? Are you dreaming, pray?
Upon my faith, I'm saying what's true.
Yes, and this, too, is a true saying: " You'll have no great difficulty in believing that to be true, which you greatly wish to be so."
Nay, but do listen, I beg of you, to all the wonderful things I have to tell you of. It was while thinking of this to myself, that I just now burst forth into those expressions which you heard—that we, and what relates to us, are ruled by the sanction of the Gods, and not by blind chance.
I've been for some time in a state of suspense.
Do you know Phanocrates?
As well as I do yourself.
The rich man?
I understand.
He is the father of Pamphila. Not to detain you, these were the circumstances: Calchas was his servant, a worthless, wicked fellow. Intending to run away from the house, he carried off this girl, whom her father was bringing up in the country, then five years old, and, secretly taking her with him to Eubaea, sold her to Lycus, a merchant. This person, a long time after, sold her, when now grown up, to Dorio. She, however, knew that she was the daughter of parents of rank, inasmuch as she recollected herself being attended and trained up by female servants: the name of her parents she didn't recollect.
How, then, were they discovered?
Stay; I was coming to that. This runaway was caught yesterday, and sent back to Phanocrates: he related the wonderful circumstances I have mentioned about the girl, and how she was sold to Lycus, and afterward to Dorio. Phanocrates sent immediately, and claimed his daughter; but when he learned that she had been sold, he came running to me.
O, how extremely fortunate!
Phanocrates has no objection to my marrying her; nor has my father, I imagine.
Trust me for that; I'll have all this matter managed for you; Phormio has so arranged it, that you shall not be a suppliant to your father, but his judge.
You are joking.
So it is, I tell you. Do you only give me the thirty minae which Dorio—
You put me well in mind; I understand you; you may have them; for he must give them back, as the law forbids a free woman to be sold; and, on my faith, I do rejoice that an opportunity is afforded me of rewarding you, and taking a hearty vengeance upon him; a monster of a fellow he has feelings more hardened than iron.
Now, Phaedria, I return you thanks; I'll make you a return upon occasion, if ever I have the opportunity. You impose a heavy task upon me, to be contending with you in good offices, as I can not in wealth; and in affection and zeal, I must repay you what I owe. To be surpassed in deserving well, is a disgrace to a man of principle.
Services badly bestowed, I take to be disservices. But I do not know any person more grateful and more mindful of a service than yourself. What is it you were just now mentioning about my father?
There are many particulars, which at present I have not the opportunity to relate. Let's go in-doors, for Nausistrata has invited me to dinner, and I'm afraid we may keep them waiting.
Very well; follow me.