Chremes, you are the very person I wanted; preserve, so far as in you lies, my son, myself, and my family.
Tell me what you would have me do.
You have this day found a daughter.
What then?
Clinia wishes her to be given him for a wife.
Prithee, what kind of a person are you?
Why?
Have you already forgotten what passed between us, concerning a scheme, that by that method some money might be got out of you?
I remember.
That self-same thing they are now about.
What do you tell me, Chremes? Why surely, this Courtesan, who is at my house, is Clitipho's mistress.
So they say, and you believe it all; and they say that he is desirous of a wife, in order that, when I have betrothed her, you may give him money, with which to provide gold trinkets and clothing, and other things that are requisite.
That is it, no doubt; that money will be given to his mistress.
Of course it is to be given.
Alas! in vain then, unhappy man, have I been overjoyed; still however, I had rather any thing than be deprived of him. What answer now shall I report from you, Chremes, so that he may not perceive that I have found it out, and take it to heart?
To heart, indeed! you are too indulgent to him, Menedemus.
Let me go on; I have now begun: assist me in this throughout, Chremes.
Say then, that you have seen me, and have treated about the marriage.
I'll say so—what then?
That I will do every thing; that as a son-in-law he meets my approbation; in fine, too, if you like, tell him also that she has been promised him.
Well, that's what I wanted—
That he may the sooner ask of you, and you may as soon as possible give him what you wish.
It is my wish.
Assuredly, before very long, according as I view this matter, you'll have enough of him. But, however that may be, if you are wise, you'll give to him cautiously, and a little at a time.
I'll do so.
Go in-doors and see how much he requires. I shall be at home, if you should want me for any thing.
I certainly do want you; for I shall let you know whatever I do.
Assistant, prompter, and director
:
The three terms here used are borrowed from the stage. "Adjutor" was
the person who assisted the performers either by voice or gesture;
"monitor" was the prompter; and "praemonstrator" was the person who
in the rehearsal trained the actor in his part.Dolt post, ass
: There is a similar passage in the
Bacchides of Plautus, 1. 1087. "Whoever there are in any place
whatsoever, whoever have been, and whoever shall be in time to come,
fools, blockheads, idiots, dolts, sots, oafs, lubbers, I singly by
far exceed them all in folly and absurd ways."
Hold now, do, wife, leave off dinning the Gods with thanksgivings that your daughter has been discovered; unless you judge of them by your own disposition, and think that they understand nothing, unless the same thing has been told them a hundred times. But, in the mean time, why does my son linger there so long with Syrus?
What persons do you say are lingering?
Ha! Menedemus, you have come opportunely. Tell me, have you told Clinia what I said?
Every thing.
What did he say?
He began to rejoice, just like people do who wish to be married.
Why are you laughing?
The sly tricks of my servant, Syrus, just came into my mind.
Did they?
The rogue can even mould the countenances of people.
That my son is pretending that he is overjoyed, is it that you mean?
Just so.
The very same thing came into my mind.
A crafty knave!
Still more would you think such to be the fact, if you knew more.
Do you say so?
Do you give attention then?
Just stop—first I want to know this, what money you have squandered; for when you told your son that she was promised, of course Dromo would at once throw in a word that golden jewels, clothes, and attendants would be needed for the bride, in order that you might give the money.
No.
How, no?
No, I tell you.
Nor yet your son himself?
Not in the slightest, Chremes. He was only the more pressing on this one point, that the match might be concluded to-day.
You say what's surprising. What did my servant Syrus do? Didn't even he say any thing?
Nothing at all.
For what reason, I don't know.
For my part, I wonder at that, when you know other things so well. But
this same Syrus has moulded your son,Has moulded your
son
: "Mire finxit." He sarcastically uses the same word,
"fingo," which Chremes himself employed in 1. 887.
What do you say?
Not to mention, then, their kissing and embracing; that I count nothing.
What more could be done to carry on the cheat?
Pshaw!
What do you mean?
Only listen. In the inner part of my house there is a certain room at the back; into this a bed was brought, and was made up with bed-clothes.
What took place after this?
No sooner said than done, thither went Clitipho.
Alone?
Alone.
I'm alarmed.
Bacchis followed directly.
Alone?
Alone.
I'm undone!
When they had gone into the room, they shut the door.
Well—did Clinia see all this going on?
How shouldn't he? He was with me.
Bacchis is my son's mistress, Menedemus I'm undone.
Why so?
I have hardly substance to suffice for ten days.Substance
to suffice for ten days
: "Familia" here means
"property," as producing sustenance. Colman, however, has translated the passage: "Mine
is scarce a ten-days' family."
What! are you alarmed at it, because he is paying attention to his friend?
His "she-friend" rather.His she-friend rather
:
Menedemus speaks of "amico," a male friend, which Chremes plays upon
by saying "amicae," which literally meant a she-friend, and was the
usual name by which decent people called a mistress.
If he really is paying it.
Is it a matter of doubt to you? Do you suppose that there is any person of so accommodating and tame a spirit as to suffer his own mistress, himself looking on, to—
Do you laugh at me? You have good reason. How angry I now am with myself! How many things gave proof, whereby, had I not been a stone, I might have been fully sensible of this? What was it I saw? Alas! wretch that I am! But assuredly they shall not escape my vengeance if I live; for this instant—
Can you not contain yourself? Have you no respect for yourself? Am I not a sufficient example to you?
For very anger, Menedemus, I am not myself.
For you to talk in that manner! Is it not a shame for you to be giving advice to others, to show wisdom abroad and yet be able to do nothing for yourself?
What shall I do?
That which you said I failed to do: make him sensible that you are his
father; make him venture to intrust every thing to you, to seek and to
ask of you; so that he may look for no other resources and forsake
you.And forsake you
: Madame Dacier observes
here, that one of the great beauties of this Scene consists in
Chremes retorting on Menedemus the very advice given by himself at
the beginning of the Play.
Nay, I had much rather he would go any where in the world, than by his debaucheries here reduce his father to beggary! For if I go on supplying his extravagance, Menedemus, in that case my circumstances will undoubtedly be soon reduced to the level of your rake.
What evils you will bring upon yourself in this affair, if you don't act with caution! You'll show yourself severe, and still pardon him at last; that too with an ill grace.
Ah! you don't know how vexed I am.
Just as you please. What about that which I desire—that she may be married to my son? Unless there is any other step that you would prefer.
On the contrary, both the son-in-law and the connection are to my taste.
What portion shall I say that you have named for your daughter? Why are you silent?
Portion?
I say so.
Alas!
Chremes, don't be at all afraid to speak, if it is but a small one. The portion is no consideration at all with us.
I did think that two talents were sufficient, according to my means. But if you wish me to be saved, and my estate and my son, you must say to this effect, that I have settled all my property on her as her portion.
What scheme are you upon?
Pretend that you wonder at this, and at the same time ask him the reason why I do so.
Why, really, I can't conceive the reason for your doing so.
Why do I do so? To check his feelings, which are now hurried away by luxury and wantonness, and to bring him down so as not to know which way to turn himself.
What is your design?
Let me alone, and give me leave to have my own way in this matter.
I do give you leave: is this your desire
It is so.
Then be it so.
And now let your son prepare to fetch the bride. The other one shall be schooled in such language as befits children. But Syrus—
What of him?
What? If I live, I will have him so handsomely dressed, so well combed
out, that he shall always remember me as long as he lives; to imagine
that I'm to be a laughing-stock and a plaything for him! So may the Gods
bless me! he would not have dared to do to a widow-woman the things
which he has done to me.Which he has done to me
:
Colman has the
following Note: "The departure of Menedemus here is very abrupt,
seeming to be in the midst of a conversation; and his re-entrance
with Clitipho, already supposed to be apprised of what has passed
between the two old gentlemen, is equally precipitate. Menage
imagines that some verses are lost here. Madame Dacier strains hard
to defend the Poet, and fills up the void of time by her old
expedient of making the Audience wait to see Chremes walk
impatiently to and fro, till a sufficient time is elapsed for
Menedemus to have given Clitipho a summary account of the cause of
his father's anger. The truth is, that a too strict observance of
the unity of place will necessarily produce such absurdities; and
there are several other instances of the like nature in
Terence."