Pseudolus, don't you hear what he says?

I hear it, master, and I give good heed.

What do you advise me to send him, that he mayn't devote my mistress to dishonor?

Don't you trouble yourself about that; be of cheerful mind. I'll manage for myself and for you. For some time past I've been on terms of goodwill with him, and he with me; and our friendship is of old standing. I'll send him this day, on his birthday, a mischief heavy and well-matured.

What's the plan?

Can't you attend to something else?

But—

Tut.

I'm distracted.

Harden your heart.

I cannot.

Make yourself to can.

By what means, pray, can I prevail upon my feelings?

Carry you out that which is to your advantage, rather than give heed with your feelings to the thing that's disadvantageous.

That's nonsense; there is no pleasure, unless a lover acts like a fool.

Do you persist?

O my dear Pseudolus, let me be undone—do let me, please.

I'll let you; only let me go. Going.

Stay, stay. As you shall, then, wish me to be, so will I be.

Now, at last, you are in your senses.

coming forward from the door of his house to the other side of the stage. The day is passing; I'm causing delay to myself. Boy, do you go before me. Moves as if going.

Hallo there! he's going; why don't you call him back?

Why in such a hurry? Gently.

But before he's gone.

Why the plague do you go so slowly, boy?

You born on this day, hallo! you born on this day; I'm calling to you; hallo! you born on this day, come you back and look at us. Although you are busy, we want you; stop—it's because some persons want to speak to you.

What's this? Who is it, when I'm busy, causes me unseasonable delay?

He that has been your supporter.

He's dead that has been; only he that is, is now alive.

You are too saucy.

You are too troublesome. Turns away to go on.

Seize the fellow: follow him up.

Go on, boy.

Let's go and meet him this way. They run and stand before him.

May Jupiter confound you, whoever you are.

That for yourself I wish.

And for both of you do I. Turn you this way, boy. Takes another direction.

May we not speak with you?

Why, it doesn't please me.

But if it's something to your advantage?

Am I allowed to go away, pray, or am I not?

Pshaw! Stop. Catches hold of him. BAL. Let me go.

Ballio, listen.

I'm deaf.

Really, you are uncivil.

You are a chatterer of nonsense.

I gave you money so long as I had it.

I'm not asking what you gave.

I'll give you some when I have it.

When you have it, bring it to me Bring it to me: "Ducito." This word may either mean "bring" the money when you have got it, or "take away" Phœnicium when you bring the money. The former seems the most probable meaning..

Alas, alas! In what a foolish fashion have I lavished what I brought to you, and what I gave you.

Your wealth defunct, you now are talking about it; you are a simpleton, a cause that has been tried you are trying over again.

At least consider him, who he is.

I've known for a long time now who he was; who he now is, let him know himself. Do you walk on to the BOY.

And can't you, Ballio, only once give a look this way for your own profit?

At that price I'll give a look; for if I were sacrificing to supreme Jupiter, and were presenting And were presenting: "Porricio" was the word especially employed to signify the act of laying the entrails on the altar, for the purpose of burning them. the entrails in my hands to lay them on the altar, if in the meanwhile anything in the way of profit were offered, I should in preference forsake the sacrifice. There's no being able to resist that sort of piety, however other things go.

aside. The very Gods, whom it is especially our duty to reverence—them he esteems of little value.

I'll speak to him. Hail to you, right heartily, the very vilest slave in Athens.

May the Gods and Goddesses favour you, Ballio, both at his wish and at my own; or, if you are deserving of other terms, let them neither favour nor bless you.

What's the matter, Calidorus?

Love and pinching want Love and pinching want: "Amatur atque egetur aeritor." Literally, "it is loved, and is wanted sharply." are the matter.

I would pity you, if, upon pity I could support my establishment.

Aye, aye, we know you quite well, what sort of character you are; don't be proclaiming it. But do you know what we want?

I' faith, I know it pretty nearly; that there may be something unfortunate for me.

Both to that and this for which we called you back, prithee do give your attention.

I am attending; but compress into a few words what you want, as I'm busy now.

He pointing to CALIDORUS is quite ashamed about what he promised you, and the day for which he promised it, that he hasn't even yet paid you those twenty minæ for his mistress.

That which we are ashamed at is much more easily endured than that which we are vexed at. At not having paid the money, he is ashamed; I, because I have not received it, am vexed.

Still, he'll pay it, he'll procure it; do you only wait some days to come. But he has been afraid of this, that you'll sell her on account of his embarrassment.

He had an opportunity, had he wished, of paying the money long ago.

What if I had it not?

If you had been in love, you would have found it on loan. You would have gone to the usurer To the usurer: "Danista" from the Greek δανίστης, "an usurer."; you would have paid the interest; or else you would have pilfered it from your father.

Ought he to have pilfered it from his father, you most shameless villain? There is no fear that you'll point out to him anything that's right.

That's not like a procurer.

And could I possibly pilfer anything from my father, an old man so much on his guard? And besides, if I could do so, filial affection forbids.

I understand you; do you then at night embrace filial affection in place of Phœnicium. But since I see you prefer your filial affection to your love—are all men your fathers? Is there no one for you to ask to lend you some money?

Why, the very name of lending's dead and gone by this.

Look you now; since, i' faith Since, i' faith: He alludes probably to the recent fraudulent failure of some well-known bankers., those fellows arose from the banker's table, with a filled skin, who, when they called in their own, paid what they had borrowed to no born creature, since then, I say, all people have been more cautious not to trust another.

Most wretched am I; nowhere am I able to find a coin of silver; so distractedly am I perishing both through love and want of money.

Buy oil on credit Buy oil on credit: "Emito die cæcâ—id vendito oculatâ die." By buying a commodity "on a blind day," and selling it "on one with eyes," is meant the system of credit for the purposes of business; where they who purchase on that principle have an eye only to the present time, but are blind as to the future consequences of their speculation. The intention of the procurer is to advise the young man to get oil on credit, and then sell it for anything it will fetch., and sell it for ready money; then, i' faith, even two hundred minæ ready money might be raised.

There I'm done; the twenty-five year old law The twenty-five year old law: The Quinavicenarian, which was also called the Lætorian Law, forbade credit to be given to persons under the age of twenty-five years, and deprived the creditor of all right to recover his money or goods. As usual, Plautus does not scruple to refer to Roman customs, though the scene is at Athens. founders me. All are afraid to trust me.

The same law The same law: By using the word "lex," he probably means that the law also applies to him, as it forbids him to give credit; or he may simply mean that it is his rule and custom not to give credit. have I. I'm afraid to trust you.

To trust him, indeed! How now, do you repent of the great profit he has been to you?

No lover is a profitable one, except him who keeps continually making presents. Either let him be always giving, or when he has nothing, let him at the same time cease to be in love.

And don't you pity me at all?

You come empty-handed; words don't chink. But I wish you life and health.

Heyday! Is he dead already?

However he is, to me indeed, at all events, with these speeches, he is dead. Then, does a lover really live, when he comes begging to a procurer? Do you always come to me with a complaint that brings Complaim that brings: "Cum argentatâ querimomâ." Literally, "with a silvery complaint." He probably alludes to the chinking of silver. its money. As for that, which you are now lamenting about, that you have got no money, complain of it to your stepmother To your stepmother: Stepmothers, in ancient times, were proverbially notorious for their unfeeling conduct to their step-children. Ballio ironically tells him to go and look for sympathy from his stepmother, on which Pseudolus retorts by implying that Ballio is as unfeeling as any stepmother can be..

Why, have you ever been married to his father, pray?

May the Gods grant better things.

Do what we ask you, Ballio, on my credit, if you are afraid to trust him. Within the next three days, from some quarter, in some way, either by land or sea, I'll rout up this money for you.

I, trust you?

Why not?

Because, i' faith, on the same principle that I trust you, on that principle I should tie a run-away dog to a lamb's fry.

Is the obligation thus ungratefully returned by you to me, who have deserved so well of you?

What do you want now?

That you will only wait these six days of the Feast, and will not sell her or prove the death of the person who loves her.

Be of good courage; I'll wait six months even.

Capital—most delightful man!

Aye; and do you wish, too, that from joyful I should make you even more joyous?

How so?

Why, because I've got no Phœnicium to sell.

Not got her?

I' faith, not I, indeed.

Pseudolus, go fetch the sacrifice, the victims, the sacrificers The sacrificers: "Lanios." Literally, "butchers." These were the "popæ," or servants of the priests, who slaughtered the cattle which were offered in sacrifice., that I may make offering to this supreme Jove. For this Jupiter is now much more mighty to me than is Jupiter himself.

I want no victims; with the entrails of minæ Entrails of minœ: "Mininis extis." He intends a pun by the use of the word "mininis," "Mina," as has been already observed, meant a kind of sheep without wool on its belly, and also the sum of money composed of a hundred drachmæ. He does not want victims, he wants the entrails of the money for his propitiation. I wish to be appeased.

to PSEUDOLUS. Make haste. Why do you hesitate? Go fetch the lambs; do you hear what Jupiter says?

I'll be here this moment; but first I must run as far as beyond the gate Beyond the gate: The Metian Gate at Rome is supposed to be here referred to, where the butchers kept their slaughter-houses, and where the "lanii" were likely to be found. It is not improbable that the priests and sacrificers wore bells on their dress, to which reference is probably made in the next line. Perhaps they were employed for the purpose of drowning the cries of the victims. The ephod of the Jewish high priest was adorned with bells..

Why thither?

I'll fetch two sacrificers thence, with their bells; at the same time I'll fetch thence two bundles of elm twigs, that this day a sufficiency may be provided for the sacrifice to this Jove.

Away to utter perdition To utter perdition: "In malam crucem." Literally, "go to the dreadful cross," which answers to our expression, "go to perdition;" or, in unpolite parlance, "go to the devil." It alludes to the cross, as the instrument of punishment for slaves and malefactors of the lower order..

Thither shall the pimping Jupiter go.

It isn't for your interest that I should die.

How so?

This way; because, if I'm dead, there will be no one worse than yourself in Athens. For your interest to CALIDORUS it is that I should die.

How so?

I'll tell you; because, i' faith, so long as I shall be alive, you'll never be a man well to do.

Troth now, prithee, in serious truth, tell me this that I ask you—have you not got my mistress, Phœnicium, on sale?

By my faith, I really have not; for I've now sold her already.

In what way?

Without her trappings, with all her inwards With all her inwards: "Cum intestinis omnibus." By this unfeeling expression, the fellow means, "stark naked," just as she stands. However, we will do him the justice to suppose that when, in the sequel, she is led away by Simmia, a "toga" is thrown over her for decency's sake..

What? Have you sold my mistress?

Decidedly; for twenty minæ.

For twenty minæ?

Or, in other words, for four times five minæ, whichever you please, to a Macedonian Captain; and I've already got fifteen of the minæ at home.

What is it that I hear of you?

That your mistress has been turned into money.

Why did you dare to do so?

'Twas my pleasure; she was my own.

Hallo! Pseudolus. Run, fetch me a sword.

What need is there of a sword?

With which to kill this fellow this instant, and then myself.

But why not kill yourself only rather? For famine will soon be killing him.

What do you say, most perjured of men as many as are living upon the earth? Did you not take an oath that you would sell her to no person besides myself?

I confess it.

In solemn form In solemn form: To take an oath in solemn form, or, "concepts verbis," was when the oath was repeated by another person, and the party swearing him followed in his words. The Roman formula for swearing was "Ex animi mei sententiâ iuro.", to wit.

Aye, and well considered too.

You have proved perjured, you villain.

I sacked the money at home, however. Villain as I am, I am now able to draw upon a stock of silver in my house; whereas you who are so dutiful, and born of that grand family, haven't a single coin.

Pseudolus, stand by him on the other side and load this fellow with imprecations.

Very well. Never would I run to the Prætor Run to the Prœtor: The "Prætor" was the public officer at Rome who liberated slaves at the request of their owners. The ceremony was performed by his lictor laying a rod called "vindicta" on the head of the person manumitted. with equal speed that I might be made free. Stands on the other side of BALLIO.

Heap on him a multitude of curses.

Now will I publish you with my rebukes. Thou lackshame!

'Tis the fact.

Villain!

You say the truth.

Whipping-post!

Why not?

Robber of tombs!

No doubt.

Gallows-bird!

Very well done.

Cheater of your friends!

That's in my way.

Parricide!

Proceed, you.

Committer of sacrilege!

I own it.

Perjurer!

You're telling nothing new Telling nothing new: He means that Calidorus has called him that already; which he has done in the 354th line..

Lawbreaker!

Very much so.

Pest of youth!

Most severely said.

Thief!

Oh! wonderful!

Vagabond!

Pooh! pooh Pooh! pooh!: "Bombax." This is a Greek word, an expression of contempt.!

Defrauder of the public!

Most decidedly so.

Cheating scoundrel!

Filthy pander!

Lump of filth!

A capital chorus.

You beat your father and mother.

Aye, and killed them, too, rather than find them food; did I do wrong at all?

We are pouring our words into a pierced cask Into a pierced cask: This notion is probably taken from the punishment of the daughters of Danaüs, who, for the murder of their husbands, the sons of Ægyptus, were doomed by Jupiter to pass their time in the Inferns, regions in gathering up water in perforated vessels.: we are losing our pains.

Would you like to call me anything else besides?

Is there anything that shames you?

Yes; that you have been found to be a lover as empty as a rotten nut. But although you have used towards me expressions many and harsh, unless the Captain shall bring me this day the five minæ that he owes me, as this was the last day appointed for the payment of that money, if he doesn't bring it, I think that I am able to do my duty.

What is that duty?

If you bring the money, I'll break faith with him; that's my duty. If it were more worth my while, I would talk further with you. But, without a coin of money, 'tis in vain that you request me to have pity upon you. Such is my determination; but do you, from this, consider what you have henceforth to do? Moves.

Are you going then?

At present I am full of business. (Exit.)

Before long you'll be more so. That man is my own, unless all Gods and men forsake me. I'll bone him just in the same fashion that a cook does a lamprey Cook does a lamprey: The "muræna," or "lamprey," was a dish highly valued by the Romans.. Now, Calidorus, I wish you to give me your attention.

What do you bid me do?

I wish to lay siege to this town, that this day it may be taken. For that purpose, I have need of an artful, clever, knowing, and crafty fellow, who may despatch out of hand what he is ordered, not one to go to sleep upon his watch.

Tell me, then, what you are going to do?

In good time I'll let you know. I don't care for it to be repeated twice; stories are made too long that way.

You plead what's very fair and very just.

Make haste; bring the fellow hither quickly.

Out of many, there are but few friends that are to be depended upon by a person.

I know that; therefore, get for yourself now a choice of both, and seek out of these many one that can be depended upon.

I'll have him here this instant.

Can't you be off then? You create delay for yourself by your talking. (Exit CALIDORUS.)