Enter PSEUDOLUS, drunk, with a chaplet on his head.PSEUDOLUS

staggering. How's this? And is it the fact? Feet-are you standing or not? Or is it this you want, some; one to pick me up here as I lie? But, by my faith, if I do fall down, yours will be the fault. Are you going to go? Heigho! I must wait upon myself. This is the great fault in wine; it first lays hold of the feet; 'tis a cunning wrestler. By my faith, assuredly am I now come off right well drenched; with such exquisite viands, with such becoming elegance, in such a delightful place, have we been delightfully entertained. What's the need for me to make much prosing? This is the thing for a man, an object for him to pass his life for; here are all pleasures and all delights. I think that the ecstasy is equal to that of the Deities, when the lover embraces his mistress, when he places lip to lip, when melting kisses are exchanged, when breast is pressed to breast, or else, if they please, they are locked in strict embrace; then for your most loving mistress, with her white hand, to be pledging you in the luscious goblet, for no one there to be disagreable to another, for no one to be indulging in silly conversation; for unguents and perfumes, ribbonsRibbons: "Lemniscos." According to Festus, "lemnisci" were purple ribbons wrapped round one another, and hanging down from the wreaths which the ancients wore on their heads at their entertainments. From a passage in Pliny it would appear that these ribbons were in general only worn by persons of distinction. The translation of l. 1260 has necessarily been somewhat modified. and festive wreaths, to be provided in profusion; and for the rest of the entertainment, too, to be provided in no niggardly style. That no one may have to question me then, in this manner have myself and my young master been spending this day in jollity. After I had fulfilled all my task just as I intended, the enemy put to flight, I was leaving them reclining and drinking, each lover with his mistress, and my own mistress there as well, indulging heart and soul. But after I had risen, they begged me to dance. After this fashion he dances did I show myself off there quite charmingly, in a master-like style, to wit; for I am thoroughly acquainted with the Ionian step. Thus, clad in my little mantle, full of fun, I was stepping about, this way. Some of them clapped me, others cried out for me to dance again. In that same Ionian fashion once again did I begin to take a turn; I presented myself to my mistress, that she might caress me; as I was pirouetting, down I tumbled: that was the funeral dirge The funeral dirge: The word "Nænia," or "nenia," has severai meanings, among others, that of "a funeral dirge," which is probably its meaning here. Pseudolus intends to say that his fall, so far as he was concerned, put an and to his enjoying the amusement of dancing any further. for my sport. And so, while I was a-struggling to get up, near—, almost, I mean, I soiled my mantle. Then, by my troth, I was the cause of plenteous mirth. A goblet was presented me on account of my fall. Forthwith I changed my mantle, and put on this; thence have I come hither, that I might get rid of my surfeit. Now I'm going to my old master, to put him in mind of our bargain. Open-open the door. Hallo, there! Tell Simo, somebody, that I'm here. Knocks at the door of SIMO'S house.

Enter SIMOAll the former editions introduced Ballio in this scene, and put in his mouth much of what really belongs to Simo. The astute Ritschel saw the absurdity of this, and has rectified the text accordingly., from his house.SIMO

The voice of a rascally fellow is calling me out of doors. He stares at PSEUDOLUS. But what's this? How's this? What is it I see in this guise?

PSEUDOLUS

staggering towards him. Your own Pseudolus, drunk, with a chaplet onWith a chaplet on: Pseudolus lays some stress on this, as slaves were not permitted to wear chaplets. He, however, presumes on the fact of Simo being in his debt..

SIMO

to himself. By my troth, this is free and easy indeed. But see his attitude; is he on my account a bit the more afraid? I'm thinking whether I shall address him harshly or kindly. But this pointing to a purse in his hand that I'm carrying forbids me to use rough measures towards him just now; if there's any hope for me, centred in this.

PSEUDOLUS

staggering up to SIMO. A worthless fellow is coming to meet the best of men.

SIMO

May the Gods bless you, Pseudolus. PSEUDOLUS eructates. Foh! go to utter perdition. Pushes him away.

PSEUDOLUS

But why should I have that mischance befal me?

SIMO

Why, the plague, in your drunkenness, are you eructating in my face?

PSEUDOLUS

Hold me up, steadily; take care that I don't fall. Don't you see me, how drenched and soaking I am?

SIMO

What impudence is this, for you to be going about this way in broad daylight, drunk, with a chaplet on?

PSEUDOLUS

Such is my pleasure. Eructates again. SIMO. Why your pleasure? Do you persist in eructating in my very face?

PSEUDOLUS

An eructation is comforting to me; do indulge me in it; do but stand off.

SIMO

For my part I really do believe, you villain, that you are able in a single hour to drink up four right plentiful vintages of the Massic hills The Massic hills: The Massic hills were situate in the Falernian district, in the territory of Naples. The Massic or Falernian wine held the second rank among the choice wines of the Romans. It was considered fit for drinking when ten years old, and might be used up to the twentieth year, but when kept anger was considered to be injurious to the nervous system..

PSEUDOLUS

A winter hour A winter hour: The Romans divided the light part of the day. into twelve hours; consequently, the hours of the winter days were much shorter than the summer ones., add.

SIMO

You don't remind me amiss. But tell me, however, whence I am to say that you are bringing your deeply-laden bark?

PSEUDOLUS

I've just been having a thorough bout with your son. That damsel is the cause of this; along with your son she is carousing, a free woman.

SIMO

You are a most worthless fellow.

PSEUDOLUS

But, Simo, wasn't Ballio nicely diddled? How well I carried what I told you into effect.

SIMO

I know everything in its order, just as you managed each particular.

PSEUDOLUS

Why, then, do you hesitate to pay me the money?

SIMO

You ask what's just, I confess; take it. Gives him the money.

PSEUDOLUS

But you declared that you wouldn't give it me; and still do you give it.

SIMO

Are you laughing at me? What? Are you going to take this from your master, Pseudolus?

PSEUDOLUS

With most willing heart and soul.

SIMO

Prithee, can't you venture to make me an abatement of some portion of this money?

PSEUDOLUS

No: you shall say that I really am a greedy fellow; for you shall never be richer by a single coin of this money.

SIMO

Well, I really didn't suppose that it would ever come to pass with me that I should be begging of you.

PSEUDOLUS

Load your shoulder with it, and follow me this way. Pointing.

SIMO

I—load myself with that?

PSEUDOLUS

You will load yourself, I'm sure.

SIMO

What am I to do to this fellow? Doesn't he, contrary to my expectation, take my money, and then laugh at me?

PSEUDOLUS

Woe to the conquered Woe to the conquered: The following was the origin of this expression. When the Romans capitulated to the Gauls under Brennus, a thousand pounds weight of gold were to be their ransom. When it was about to be weighed out, the Gauls brought false weights. On this the Roman officer refused to use them, whereupon Brennus threw his sword into the scale, and exclaimed "Væ victis!" "Woe to the conquered!" The expression afterwards became proverbial, as signifying that no mercy was to be expected.: turn your back, then. Turns him round.

SIMO

Oh! oh! desist. Let me alone—I'm in pain.

PSEUDOLUS

Were you not in pain, I should be in pain; and no compassion would you have had for my back, if I hadn't this day managed this.

SIMO

There will be an opportunity for me to be revenged on you, if I live.

PSEUDOLUS

Why do you threaten? I've got a back of my own.

SIMO

Very well, then. Moves as if going. PSEUD. Come you back then.

SIMO

Why come back?

PSEUDOLUS

Only come you back; you shall not be deceived.

SIMO

turns round. I am come back. PSEUD. Come and have a drink with me.

SIMO

What—I, come?

PSEUDOLUS

Do as I ask you. If you do come, I'll let you take half of this, or even more. Points to the purse in his hand.

SIMO

I'll come; take me where you like, Pseudolus.

PSEUDOLUS

How now then? Are you at all angry with me or with your son, Simo, on account of these matters?

SIMO

Certainly, not at all.

PSEUDOLUS

going. Step this way now.

SIMO

I follow you. But why don't you invite the Spectators as well?

PSEUDOLUS

turning round. I' faith, they are not in the habit of inviting me; and, therefore, I don't invite them. But if you addressing the AUDIENCE are willing to applaud and approve of this company of players, and this Comedy, I invite you for to-morrow Invite you for to-morrow: At the Megalensian games the third day was especially set apart for scenic representations. Probably, as the present Play was acted there, it was on that occasion announced for repetition on the succeeding day. It may not be inapposite here to remark that Cicero, in his Treatise on Old Age, informs us that Plautus entertained a very high opinion of this Play; while Aulus Gellius styles it "Comœdia festissima," "a most entertaining Comedy." Many of the modern Commentators have pronounced it to be the most meitorious of the Plays of Plautus..