O fie! my Juno. You shouldn't be so cross to your own Jupiter. Where art come now?
Let me alone.
Do stay.
I' troth, then I'll follow you.
In my senses, inasmuch as I love you.
I don't want you to love me.
You can't have your way there.
You plague me to death.
I only wish you spoke the truth.
There I believe you.
Do look back, O my sweet one.
About as much, I suppose, as you are to me. Whence is this strong smell of perfumes, prithee?
May good Mercury
: He probably mentions Mercury, as being the tutelary Divinity of tradesmen.
How now, you worthless grey gnat!Worthless grey gnat
: Being both troublesome and insignificant.
I' faith, I lent my company to a certain friend of mine, while he was purchasing some perfumes.
How readily he did trump that up. Are you ashamed of anything?
Of everything that you like.
In what dens of iniquity have you been lying?
I know more than you think I do.
What is it that you know?
That not one among all the old men is more worthless than yourself, an old man. Whence come you, good-for-nothing? Where have you been? In what den amusing yourself? Where have you been drinking? You are come, on my word; look at his cloak, how it's creased.
May the Gods confound both me and yourself, if I this day have put a drop of wine into my mouth.
Very well then; just as you like: drink, eat, and squander away your property!
Hold, wife; there's now enough of it; you din me too much. Do leave a little of your talk, that you may wrangle with me to-morrow. But what say you? Have you by this time subdued your temper, so as to do that in preference which your husband wishes to be done, rather than strive against him?
About what matter are you speaking?
Do you ask me? About the handmaid An armour-bearer
: The "armiger" was a general "campservant," who was ready to hold the arms, pitch the tent, or run on the messages of his master.
Upon my faith, I am surprised that in your old age you do not remember your duty.
How so?
Because if you were to act rightly or becomingly, you'd let me manage the maid-servants, which is my own province.
Why the plague do you wish to give her to a fellow that carries a shield?
Because it's our duty to gratify our only son.
But although he is an only one, not a bit the more is he my only son than I am his only father. It's more becoming for him to conform to me, than for me to him.
By my troth, sir, you're providing for yourself a serious piece of trouble.
You; but why do. you stammer so?> Why do you wish for this with such anxiety?
Why, that she may rather be given to a servant that's honest, than to a servant that's dishonest.
What if I prevail upon, and obtain of the bailiff, that for my sake he'll give her up to the other one?
But what if I prevail upon the armour-bearer to give her up to the other one? And I think that I can prevail upon him in this.
That's agreed upon. Should you like that, in your name, I should call Chalinus hither out of doors? Do you beg of him, and I'll beg of the bailiff.
I'm quite willing.
He'll be here just now. Now we'll make trial which of us two is the most persuasive.
Why yes, I did order you to be sent for.
Tell me what you want.
In the first place, I want you to speak to me with a more cheerful countenance.
It would be folly for me to be morose toward you whose rule is the strongest.
Indeed! I consider you to be an honest fellow.
So I find. But if you think so, why don't you give me my freedom?
Why so I wish to do; but it's of no use for me to wish a thing to be done, unless you aid me with your actions.
What you wish, I only wish myself to be acquainted with it.
Listen then; I'll tell you. I've promised to give
But your wife and your son have promised her to me.
I know it; but whether now would you prefer yourself to be single and a free man, or, as a married man, to pass your lives, yourself and your children, in slavery? This choice is your own: whichever condition of these two you prefer, take it.
If I am free, I live at my own cost; at present I live at yours. As to
Go in-doors, and at once be quick and call my wife here, out of doors; and bring hither together with you an urnAn urn
: "Sitella," or "situla," though usually called an "urn," was a vessel shaped like a water-pitcher, from which lots were drawn. It had a wide belly and a narrow neck with a handle on each side, and stood on legs. The vessel was filled with water, and the lots, made of heavy wood, which sank, being put into it, the vessel was shaken, and as only one lot could come to the top at a time, the person who had chosen the number which was the first to come up was the winner.
I'm quite agreable.
I' faith, in some way or other I'll now ward off this weapon of yours; for if, as it is, I shall not be able to prevail by persuasion, at least I'll try it by lot. There I shall take vengeance upon you and your abettors.
Still, for all that the lot will fall to me—
Aye, faith, for you to go to perdition with direful torments.
She shall marry me, contrive what you will, in any way you please.
Won't you away hence from my sight?
Unwillingly you look upon me, still I shall live on.
By my faith, all in an instant shut me up in a hot furnace, and parch me there for a hard-baked biscuitA hard-baked biscuit
: "Panis rubidus," literally, "red bread," was probably a kind of bread or biscuit, which received its name from its being highly baked, till it was "red," or of a deep-brown colour.
For a single penny
: "Libella," the same as the "as;" a small silver coin, the tenth part of the "denarius."
With the same person that you always are.
What, with my wife?
What wife are you speaking of to me? Really you are a hunter, as it were: your nights and days you pass with a female curWith a female cur
: "Cum cane." Literally, "with a bitch" an expression too coarse for ears polite.
What does she say? What's she talking to you about?
She's begging and entreating of me that I won't be taking
What did you say after that?
Why, I declared that I wouldn't give way to
May the Gods preserve you for me!
She's now all in a ferment; she's swelling so against me.
By my troth, I could like her to burst in the middle.
I' faith, I fancy she will, if indeed you manage cleverly. But your amorousness, i' faith, is a cause of trouble to me; your wife is at enmity with me, your son at enmity, my fellow-servants at enmity.
What matters that to you? So long as
That's great nonsense; as if you didn't know how suddenly your human Jupiters take to dying. So after all, if you, my Jupiter, are dead and gone, when your realm devolves upon the lesser Gods, who shall then come to the rescue of my back, or head, or legs?
Affairs will go with you better than you expect, if I obtain this—the enjoyment of my
I' faith, I do not think it possibly can be; so earnestly is your wife striving that she shall not be given to me.
But this way I'll proceed: I'll put the lots in an urn, and draw the lots for yourself and Chalinus. I find that the business has come to this pass; it's necessary to fight with swords hand to hand.
What, if the lot should turn out different from what you wish?
Speak with good omen. I rely upon the Gods; we'll trust in the Gods.
That expression I wouldn't purchase at a rotten thread, for all people are relying upon the Gods; but still I've frequently seen many of those deceived who relied upon the Gods.
But hold your tongue a little while.
What is it you mean?
Why look; here's Chalinus coming from the house, out here, with the urn and the lots. Now, with standards closing, we shall fight.
Let me know, Chalinus, what my husband wants with me.
By my troth, he wants to see you burning outside of the Metian gateThe Metian gate
: As he writes for a Roman audience, the author does not see any impropriety in speaking of the "Metian gate," although the scene is at
I' faith, I believe he does want that.
But, by my troth, I don't believe it, but I know it for certain.
All the things are here which you ordered; your wife, the lots, the urn, and myself.
By yourself only, there is more here than I want.
I' faith, so it seems to you indeed. I'm a stinger to you now; I'm pricking that dear little heart of yours; even now it's palpitating from alarm.
Whip-knave—
Hold your tongue, Chalinus,
Do make that fellow be quiet.
No, that fellow rather Learned to misbehave
: As an indecent allusion is covertly made here, the translation of the passage is somewhat modified.
She, given to you?
Why yes, to me—dear me, I didn't mean to say that. While I meant for myselfWhile I meant for myself
: Wishing to correct himself, in his confusion he only gets deeper. He means to say. "While I meant for him, I said myself."
For him—no, no; for myself, i' faithFor myself, i' faith
: For the third time he commits the came mistake.
Very often, i' faith, you are making your mistakes.
Such is the case when you desire anything very much. But each of us, both he
How's that?
Why, I'll tell you, my sweet. As to this
But, i' faith, I neither do make it, nor do I in tend it.
In that case, then, I'll divide the lots between them.
Who forbids you?
I judge with reason that that is the best and fairest way. In fine, if that happens which we desire, we shall be glad; but if otherwise, we'll bear it with equanimity.
Whip-rascal! do you take me to be your own self?
I' faith, it will certainly fall to you, I fancy; I know your pious ways. But stop a bit; is that lot of yours of poplar or of fir?
Why do you trouble yourself about that?
Why, because I'm afraid that it may float on the surface of the water.
Capital!—take care! Now then, both of you, throw your lots in here.
Don't you trust your wife.
Be of good courage.
Upon my faith, I do believe that she'll lay a spell upon the lots this very day, if she touches them.
Hold your tongue.
I'll hold my tongue. I pray the Gods—
Aye,that this day you may have to endure the chainEndure the chain
: "Canis." Literally, "the dog." This was the small chain, which was also called "catillus." It has been referred to in a previous Note.The bilboes
: "Furcam."
That the lot may fall to me.
Aye, faith, that you may hang up by the feet.
Aye, that you may blow your eyes out of your head through your nose.
Give attention, both of you.
I'll be mum.
Now you, Cleostrata, that you may not say that anything has been done cheatingly by me in this matter, or suspect it, I give you leave, do you yourself draw the lots.
He's gaining an advantage rather.
Say you so? Because you are a runaway yourself, do you wish all to follow your example? I wish, indeed, that that lot of yours, as they say that of the descendants of HerculesDescendants of Hercules
: Pausanias says that the sons of Aristo demus and Cresphontes drew lots, on condition that the party whose lot came first< out of the urn should receive
And you, that you may melt away yourself, and just now be made hot with twigs.
Attend, will you, to the business in hand, Olympio!
Yes, if this thrice-dottedThrice-dotted
: "Literatus." Lambinus thinks that this alludes to his back being marked by stripes. There is, however, more reason to believe that it refers to the custom of branding slaves and criminals. The Greeks marked criminals on the forehead with
May this prove lucky and fortunate to me.
Yes indeed; to me as well.
Not so.
By my troth, yes, I say.
By my troth, yes, for myself, I say.
Do just as you please.
Because my Jupiter
Because this Juno of mine
I must put up with it, since, as long as I live, my wife will have the mastery.
Why by his talk does he occasion me an unlucky omens
I think, Chalinus, you should be on your guard against a mishap.
Full time, after my face has been battered!
Come, wife, now then draw the lots.
Where I am I know not. I'm undone, I've got my heart full of maggots, I think; it's jumping about already; with its throbbing it beats against my breast.
Draw it out, then.
Show it.
Really this is an unlucky mishap.
You are beaten, Chalinus.
Then I'm glad that we are to survive after all, Olympio.
Through my own piety and that of my forefathers has it happened.
Wife, go in-doors and make ready for the wedding.
I'll do as you bid me.
Do you know that it's to a distance in the country, at the farm-house,that he is to take her?
I know.
Go in-doors,and although this is disagreable to you, still take care and attend to it.
Very well.
Am I delaying at all? For in his presence