I could wish you, brother, to think that I utter these words by reason of my own regard and your welfare, as is befitting your own sister to do. Although I'm not unaware that we women are accounted troublesome; for we are all of us deservedly considered very talkative, and, in fact, they say at the present day that not a single woman has been found dumbHas been found dumb
: Not seeing the sarcasm intended against the female sex in this passage, Lambinus seriously takes the trouble to contradict Eunomia; his words are, "I myself, who am at present in my fifty-sixth year have seen no less than two dumb women."
Best of women, give me your hand.
Yourself.
Do you say so?
If you say no, I say no.
Indeed, it's right that the truth should be spoken; for the best of women can nowhere be found; one is only worse than another, brother.
I think the same, and I'm determined never to contradict you on that point, sister. What do you wish?
Give me your attention, I beg of you.
'Tis at your service; use and command me, please, if you wish for aught.
A thing that I consider very greatly for your advantage I'm come to recommend you.
Sister, you are doing after your usual manner.
I wish it were done.
What is it, sister?
That you may enjoyThat you may enjoy
:
May the Gods so grant it.
I wish you to bring home a wife.
Ha! I'm undone.
How so?
Because, sister, your words are knocking out the brains of unfortunate me; you are speaking stonesYou are speaking stones
: So Shakspeare says, in "I will speak daggers to her, but use none."
Well, well, do this that your sister requests you.
If she requests me, I will do it.
'Tis for your own interest.
Yes, for me to die before I marry. Let her who comes here to-morrow, be carried outBe carried out
: "Feratur," "may be carried out to burial." "Fero" and "effero" have that especial signification. The body was carried out to burial on a bier, which resembled a bed or couch.
I am able, brother, to provide you with a wife with a very large marriage-portion. But she's somewhat aged; she's of the middle-age of woman. If you request me, brother, to ask her for you, I'll ask her.
Would you like me to ask you a question?
Yes, if you like, ask it.
Suppose any old man, past mid-age, brings home a middle-aged wife, if by chance he should have a child by this old woman, do you doubt at all but that the name of that child is PosthumusIs Posthumus
: Children, who were born after their father's decease were called "posthumi," a term which is still retained. By speaking of an old woman, "anus," as the mother, he seems also to allude to the chance of the child losing its mother as well, at the moment of its birthHaughty pride
: He means to say, that these evils are attendant upon marrying a woman with a large dowry.
Tell me, pray, who is she whom you would like to take for a wife?
I'll tell you. Do you know that Euclio, the poor old man close by?
I know him; not a bad sort of man, i' faith.
I'd like his maiden daughter to be promised me in marriage. Don't make any wordsDon't make any words
: Ben Jonson has imitated this passage in his
May the Gods prosper it.
I hope the same.
What do you want me now for? Do you wish for anything?
Farewell.
And you the same, brother.
I'll go meet Euclio, if he's at home. But, see! the very person is betaking himself home, whence, I know not.
May the Gods bless you, Megadorus!
How are you? Are you quite well, and as you wish?
Do you say that you are well?
Troth, I'm not very well in the money line.
I' faith, if you've a contented mind, you have enough to passing a good life with.
Why are you talking to yourself?
I'm lamenting my poverty; I've a grown-up girl without a portion, and one that can't be disposed of in marriage; nor have I the ability to marry her to anybody.
Hold your peace; be of good courage, Euclio: she shall be given in marriaye; you shall be assisted by myself. Say, if you have need of aught; command me.
Carrying a stone
: "To ask for bread, and to receive a stone," was a proverbial expression with the ancients. Erasmus says that it was applied to those who pretended to be friendly to a person, and at the same time were doing him mischief; and that it was borrowed from persons enticing a dog with a piece of bread, and, when it had come sufficiently near, pelting it with a stone. The expression is used in the New Testament. "If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone?" St. Luke, c. xi., v. 11. The bread, as we learn from specimens found at These polypi
:
Give me your attention, Euclio, for a little time: I wish to address you in a few words, about a common concern of yours and mine.
Where are you going?
I'll return to you directly, for there's something I must go and see to at home.
By my troth, I do believe that when I make mention of his daughter, for him to promise her to me, he'll suppose that he's being laughed at by me; nor is there out of the whole class of paupers one more beggarly than he.
I return you thanks; I beg that as to what I shall enquire of you, you'll not hesitate to speak out boldly.
So long, indeed, as you enquire nothing that I mayn't choose to speak out upon.
Tell me, of what sort of family do you consider me to be sprung?
Of a good one.
What think you as to my character?
'Tis a good one.
What of my conduct?
Neither bad nor dishonest.
Do you know my years?
I know that they are plentiful, just like your money.
I' faith, for sure I really did always take you to be a citizen without any evil guile, and now I think you so.
Since you know me, and I know you, what sort of person you are—a thing, that may it bring a blessing on myself, and you and your daughter, I ask your daughter as my wife. Promise me that it shall be so.
Heyday! Megadorus, you are doing a deed that's not becoming to your usual actions, in laughing at me, a poor man, and guiltless towards yourself and towards your family For neither in act, nor in words, have I ever deserved it of you, that you should do what you are now doing.
By my troth, I neither am come to laugh at you, nor am I laughing at you, nor do I think you deserving of it.
Why then do you ask for my daughter for your self?
That through me it may be better for you, and through you and yours for me.
This suggests itself to my mind, Megadorus, that you are a wealthy man, a man of rank; that I likewise am a person, the poorest of the poor; now, if I should give my daughter in marriage to you, it suggests itself to my mind that you are the ox, and that I am the ass; when I'm yoked to you, and when I'm not able to bear the burden equally with yourself, I, the ass, must lie down in the mire; you, the ox, would regard me no more than if I had never been born; and I should both find you unjust, and my own class would laugh at me; in neither direction should I have a fixed stall, if there should be any separationBe any separation
: "Si quid divortii fuat." By the use of the word "divortium," he means either an estrangement of himself from Megadorus, or a separation or divorce of the latter from his intended wife, which of course would lead to the same consequences. The facilities for divorce among the Romans have been remarked upon in a previous Note.
The nearer you can unite yourself in alliance with the virtuous, so much the better. Do you receive this proposal, listen to me, and promise her to me.
But indeed there is no marriage-portion.
You are to give none; so long as she comes with good principles, she is sufficiently portioned.
I say so for this reason, that you mayn't be supposing that I have found any treasures.
I know that; don't enlarge upon it. Promise her to me.
So be it.
What's the matter with you?
What was it sounded just now as though it were iron?
Here at my place, I ordered them to dig up the garden.
By my troth, Euclio, I perceive that you consider me a fit man for you to make sport of in my old age, for no deserts of my own.
I' faith, Megadorus, I am not doing so, nor, should I desire it, had I the meansHad I the means
: "Neque, si cupiam, copia est." In saying this, Euclio intends to play upon the words of Megadorus, "ludos facias," which may either signify "you make sport of me," or "you give a public show" or "spectacle," which the wealthy Patricians of
How now? Do you then betroth your daughter to me?
On those terms, and with that portion which I mentioned to you.
Do you promise her then?
I do promise her.
May the Gods bestow their blessings on it.
May the Gods so do. Take you care of this, and remember that we've agreed, that my daughter is not to bring you any portion.
I remember it.
But I understand in what fashion you, of your class, are wont to equivocate; an agreement is no agreement, no agreement is an agreement, just as it pleases you.
I'll have no misunderstanding with you. But what reason is there why we shouldn't have the nuptials this day?
Why, by my troth, there is very good reason for them.
I'll go, then, and prepare matters. Do you want me in any way?
That shall be done. Fare you well.
He has gone hence. Immortal Gods, I do beseech you! How powerful is gold! I do believe, now, that he has had some intimation that I've got a treasure at home; he's gaping for that; for the sake of that has he persisted in this alliance.
Hold your tongue, and be off. Take care that things are ready when I return home from the Forum, and shut the house up. I shall be here directly.
What now am I to do? Now is ruin near at hand for us, both for myself and my master's daughter; for her disgrace and her delivery are upon the very point of becoming known; that which even until now has been concealed and kept secret, cannot be so now. I'll go in-doors, that what my master ordered may be done when he comes. But, by my faith, I do fear that I shall have to drink of a mixture of bitternessA mixture of bitterness
: Hildyard suggests that Staphyla is fond of a drop, and likes her liquors neat ("merum"), wherefore it is a double misfortune to her, not only to endure misfortunes, but those of a "mixed" nature. "Mixtum" was the term applied to the wine, when mixed with its due proportion of water for drinking.
After my master had bought the provisions, and hired the cooksHired the cooks
: Allusion has been made, in the Notes to the Pseudolus, to the custom of hiring cooks in the markets on any special occasion. These were frequently slaves; and in such case, the greater portion of their earnings would go into the pockets of their masters. From the remark made in l. 265, we find that Congrio and Anthrax are slaves.
By my troth, but you really shan't be dividing meYou really shan't be dividing me
: He alludes to his own name, "Congrio," "a conger eel," which was cut up before it was cooked; and he means to say, that spite of his name, he will not stand being divided by Strobilus.
A very pretty and modest fellow, indeedModest fellow, indeed
: Anthrax gives a very indelicate turn to the remark of Congrio; and the liberty has been taken of giving a more harmless form to the gross witticism of Anthrax. It may be here remarked, that he takes his name from the Greek word, signifying "a coal," a commodity, of course much in request with cooks.
But, Anthrax, I said that in another sense, and not in the one which you are pretending.
Now my master's going to be married to-day.
Whose daughter is he to marry?
The daughter of this Euclio, his near neighbour here. For that reason he has ordered half of these provisions here to be presented to him—one cook, and one music-girl likewise.
That is, you take one half to him, the other half home?
'Tis just as you say.
How's that? Couldn't this old fellow provide from his own resources for the wedding of his daughter.
Pshaw!
What's the matter?
What's the matter, do you ask? A pumice stone isn't so dry as is this old fellow.
Do you really say that it is as you affirm?
Do be judge yourself. Why, he's for ever crying out for aid from Gods and men, that his property has gone, and that he is ruined root and branch, if the smoke by chance escapes out of doors through the rafters of his house. Why, when he goes to sleep, he ties a bagHe ties a bag
: He probably intends to hint here that Euclio sleeps with his purse (which consisted of a "follis," or "leathern bag") tied round his throat, but implies that he not only wishes thereby to save his money, but his breath as well, by having the mouth of the bag so near to his own. Although
Why so?
That when he sleeps, he may lose no breath.
And does he stop up the lower part of his windpipePart of his windpipe
: An indelicate remark is here made, which has been obviated in the translation.
In that 'tis as fair that you should credit me, as it is for me to credit you.
Why really, I do believe you.
But, further, do you know how it is? I' faith, he grieves to throw away the water when he washes.
Do you think a great talentA great talent
: As the ancients weighed silver on paying a talent, the word "talentum" denoted both a sum of money and a weight. The great talent here mentioned, was the Attic talent of sixty minæ, or six thousand drachmæ.
By my troth, if you were to ask it, he would never let you have the loan of hunger. Why, the other day, the barber had cut his nailsHad cut his nails
: From this passage we learn that barbers were in the habit of paring the nails of their customers; in the Epistles of
I' faith, you do describe a miserably stingy wretch.
But do you think that he does live so very stingily and wretchedly?
A kite, the other day, carried off his morsel of food; the fellow went crying to the PrætorTo the Prœtor
: The "Prætor" was a magistrate at
I—as being much the better one.
A cook I ask for, not a thiefNot a thief
: Because "celer," "sharp" or "nimble," would especially apply to the requisite qualifications for an expert thief.
As a cook, I mean.
I'm just as you see me.
He's a nine-day cookA nine-day cook
: Congrio probably means to say that Anthrax is a cook who only gets employment on the "Nundinæ," when the influx of country-people into the city called the services of even the worst cooks into requisition, and the eaters were not of the most fastidious description. The "Nundinæ" (so called from "nonæ," "ninth," and "dies," "day") returned every eighth day, according to our mode of reckoning; but according to the Romans, who, in counting, reckoned both extreme, every ninth day, whence the name. On this day the country-people came into the city to sell their wares, make their purchases, hear the new laws read, and learn the news. By the Hortensian law, the "Nundinæ," which before were only "feriæ," or "holidays," were made "fasti," or "court-days," that the country-people then in town might have their lawsuits determined. Lipsius thinks that reference is here made to the feast called "novendiale," which was sometimes given to the poorer classes on the ninth day after the funeral of a person of affluence. Probably, the cooking of these banquets was not of the highest order; but the former seems the more probable explanation of the passage.
You, you three-lettered fellowThree-lettered fellow
: "Trium literarum homo;" literally, "man of three letters"—"F U R," "thief."
To be sure I do, you trebly-distilled thief of thievesThief of thieves
: "Funtrifurcifer." Strictly speaking, the latter word signifies "thief three times over."
Now do you hold your tongue for the present, and, that lamb, whichever is the fatter of the two—
Very wellVery well
: Congrio answers "licet," by way of assent to Strobilus, thinking that he is asking him to take the fattest lamb, on which Strobilus gives him the leanest one. Hildyard suggests that Congrio fancies that Strobilus is asking which is the fattest cook, and not the fattest lamb, and accordingly says, "Very well," thereby admitting that he is the fattest of the two. If there is any such wit intended in the passage, it is very recondite.
Do you, Congrio, take that, and go in-doors there
By my troth, you've made an unfair division; they've got the fattest lamb.
But the fattest music-girl shall be given you then. Do you, therefore, go along with him,
: "
O you crafty Strobilus, have you pushed me off here upon this most miserly old fellow, where if I ask for anything, I may ask even to hoarseness before anything's found me?
'Tis very foolish, and 'tis thanklessly done, to do a service to you, when what you do goes for nothing.
But how so?
Do you ask? In the first place then, there will be no confusion for you there in the house; if you want anything to use, bring it from your own home, don't lose your trouble in asking for it. But here, at our house, there's great confusion, and a large establishment— furniture, gold, garments, silver vessels. If anything's lost here (as I know that you can easilyYou can easily
: "Facile," "easily," seems a preferable reading to "facere." If the latter reading is adopted, there are three consecutive verbs in the infinitive mood, which, even in the (occasionally) uncouth language of Plautus, sounds very uneuphoniously, "Facere abstinere posse."In the dungeon
: "Puteus" here signifies the black hole or dungeon underground (called also "ergastulum"), where the refractory slaves were put in confinement.
I follow.