Ye gods! what treatment our dear Philosophy has had from those scoundrels! It is high time, then, to see what is to be done and how they are to be punished. Well, the thunderbolt despatches at a single blow, and the death is a swift one.
I will offer you a suggestion, father, for I myself have come to detest the knaves; the Muses mean nothing to them, so I am indignant on behalf of the Nine. Those fellows are by no means worthy of a thunderbolt or of that right hand of yours. Send Hermes down to get after them, if you think best, with unlimited powers in the matter of their punishment. As he himself is interested in argumentation, he will very soon know those who are genuine students of philosophy and those who are not. Then he will commend the former, naturally, and the latter will be punished as he sees fit in the circumstances.
A good idea, Apollo. But you go too, Heracles; take along Philosophy herself and all be off, as quickly as you can, to the world. Bear in mind that you will be doing a thirteenth labour of no mean order if you exterminate such pestilential, shameless beasts.
On my word, father, I should have preferred to
clean out the muck of Augeas once more, rather than
to get involved with these creatures. Let us be off,
however.
Let us be going down, so that we may exterminate at least a few of them to-day. What direction should we take, Philosophy? You know where they are. In Greece, no doubt?
Not by any means, or only a few, those who are genuine students of philosophy, Hermes. These others have no use for Attic poverty; we must look for them in some quarter where much gold or silver is mined.
Then we must make straight for Thrace.
Quite right, and indeed I will show you the way, as I know the whole of Thrace from repeated visits. So, if you please, let us now take this direction.
What direction do you mean?
Do you see two ranges, Hermes and Philosophy,
the highest and most beautiful of all mountains (the
higher is Haemus, the one opposite is Rhodope), and
a plain of great fertility outspread beneath them,
beginning at the very foothills of each? Also,
Yes, by Zeus, Heracles, the greatest and loveliest of all cities! In fact, its beauty is radiant from afar. And also, a very large river flows past it, coming quite close to it.
That is the Hebrus, and the city was built by the
famous Philip. Philippopolis.
Very well. But what is to be done now? How are we to track the beasts out?
That is up to you, Hermes; you are a crier, so be quick and do your office.
Nothing hard about that, but I do not know their names. Tell me, Philosophy, what I am to call them, and their marks of identification as well.
I myself do not know for certain what they are
called, because of my not having had anything to do
with them ever. But to judge from the craving for
Right you are.—But who are these people and why are they too looking about them? However, they are coming up and want to ask a question.
Could you tell us, gentlemen, or you, kind lady, whether you have seen three rogues together, and a woman with her hair closely clipped in the Spartan style, boyish-looking and quite masculine ?
Aha! They are looking for our quarry!
How yours? Those fellows are all fugitive slaves, and for my part I am particularly in search of the woman, whom they have kidnapped.
You will soon find out why we are in search of
them. But at present let us make a joint proclamation.
«If anyone has seen a Paphlagonian slave, one of
those barbarians from Sinope, with a name of the
kind that has ‘rich’ in it, sallow, close-cropped, As a Cynic, the man should wear his hair long; but we are informed that he has Stoic leanings (§ 31).
FIRST SLAVE-OWNER Your proclamation does not tally, man! His name when I had him was Scarabee; furthermore, he wore his hair long, kept his chin hairless, and knew my trade. It was his business to sit in my fuller’s shop and shear off the excessive nap that makes cloaks fuzzy.
That is the very man, your slave; but now he looks like a philosopher, for he has given himself a thorough dry-cleaning. FIRST SLAVE-OWNER (to Second and Third) The impudence of him! Scarabee is setting up for a philosopher, she says, and we do not enter into his speculations at all!