Do you want the dirty one over yonder, from the
Black Sea ?
You there with the wallet slung about you, you
Crier, what’s that you say? Are you selling someone who is free ?
That I am.
Then aren’t you afraid he may have the law on you for kidnapping or even summon you to the Areopagus ?
He doesn’t mind being sold, for he thinks that he is free anyhow.
What use could a man make of him, filthy as he is, and in such a wretched condition? However, he might be made a shoveller or a drawer of water.
Not only that, but if you make him doorkeeper,
you will find him far more trusty than a dog. In
tact, he is even called a dog.
Ask the man himself; it is better to do so.
I am afraid of his sullen, hang-dog look; he may
bark at me if I go near him, or even bite me, by
Zeus! Don’t you see how he has his cudgel poised
Don’t be afraid ; he is gentle.
First of all, my friend, where are you from?
Everywhere.
What do you mean ?
You see in me a citizen of the world.
Whom do you take for your pattern ?
Heracles.
Then why don’t you wear a lion’s skin? For as to the cudgel, you are like him in that.
This short cloak is my lion-skin; and I am a soldier like him, fighting against pleasures, no conscript but a volunteer, purposing to make life clean.
A fine purpose! But what do you know best, and what is your business?
I am a liberator of men and a physician to their
ills; in short I desire to be an interpreter of truth
and free speech.
Very good, interpreter! But if IT buy you, what course of training will you give me ?
First, after taking you in charge, stripping you of
your luxury and shackling you to want, I will puta
short cloak on you. Next I will compel you to
undergo pains and hardships, sleeping on the ground,
drinking nothing but water and filling yourself with
any food that comes your way. As for your money,
in case you have any, if you follow my advice you
will throw it into the sea forthwith. You will take
no thought for marriage or children or native land:
all that will be sheer nonsense to you, and you will
leave the house of your fathers and make your home
in atomb or a deserted tower or even a jar.
What do you mean by not feeling pain when I am flogged? I am not enclosed in the carapace of a turtle or a crab !
You will put in practice the saying of Euripides, slightly revised.
What saying?
The traits that you should possess in particular are
these : you should be impudent and bold, and should
abuse all and each, both kings and commoners, for
thus they will admire you and think you manly. Let
your language be barbarous, your voice discordant
and just like the barking of a dog: let your expression be set, and your gait consistent with your
expression. In a word, let everything about you be
bestial and savage. Put off modesty, decency and
moderation, and wipe away blushes from your face
completely. Frequent the most crowded place, and
in those very places desire to be solitary and uncommunicative, greeting nor friend nor stranger; for to
do so is abdication of the empire.
Get out with you! The life you talk of is abominable and inhuman.
But at all events it is easy, man, and no trouble
for all to follow ; for you will not need education and
doctrine and drivel, but this road is a short cut to
fame. Even if you are an unlettered man,—a tanner
I do not want you for any such purpose, but you might do at a pinch for a boatman or a gardener, and only then if my friend here is willing to sell you for two obols at the outside.
He’s yours: take him. We shall be glad to get rid of him because he is annoying and loud-mouthed and insults and abuses everybody without exception.
Call another; the Cyrenaic in the purple cloak,
with the wreath on his head.
Come here and tell me what you know ; I will buy you if you are of any use.
Don’t bother him, please, sir, and don’t question
him, for he is drunk, and so can’t answer you
because his tongue falters, as you observe.
In general, he is accommodating to live with, satisfactory to drink with, and handy to accompany an amorous and profligate master when he riots about town with a flute-girl, Moreover, he is a connoisseur in pastries and a highly expert cook: in short, a Professor of Luxury. He was educated in Athens, and entered service in Sicily, at the court of the tyrants, with whom he enjoyed high favour. The sum and substance of his creed is to despise everything, make use of everything and cull pleasure from every source.
You had better look about for someone else, among these rich and wealthy people ; for I can’t afford to buy a jolly life.
It looks as if this fellow would be left on our hands, Zeus.