Come, pick, be strong for me now and don’t flag in
the task of calling Treasure out of the depths to the
light of day. O Zeus, god of miracles! O gracious
Corybants! O Hermes, god of gain! Where did all
this gold come from? « Is this a dream? I am afraid
I may wake up and find nothing but ashes. No,
O Midas! O Croesus! O treasures of Delphi! How little worth you are beside Timon and the wealth of Timon! Yes, even the king of Persia is not a match for me.
Pick and darling coat of skin, it is best that I should hang you up here as an offering to Pan. For myself, I purpose now to buy the whole farm, build a tower over the treasure just large enough for me to live in, and have it for my tomb when I am dead.
“Be it resolved and enacted into law, to be
binding for the rest of my life, that I shall associate
with no one, recognize no one and scorn everyone.
Friends, guests, comrades and Altars of Mercy
and all others shall
be enemies and conspirators. To talk to any of
them shall be pollution, and if I simply see one of
them, that day shall be under a curse. In short,
they shall be no more than statues of stone or bronze
in my sight. I shall receive no ambassadors from
His favourite name shall be ‘the Misanthrope,’ and his characteristic traits shall be testiness, acerbity, rudeness, wrathfulness and inhumanity. If I see anyone perishing in a fire and begging to have it put out, I am to put it out with pitch and oil; and if anyone is being swept off his feet by the river in winter and stretches out his hands, begging me to take hold, I am to push him in head-foremost, plunging him down so deep that he cannot come up again. In that way they will get what they deserve. Moved by Timon, son of Echecratides, of Collytus ; motion submitted to the assembly by the aforesaid Timon.”
Good! Let us pass this resolution and abide by it stoutly.
Yet I would have given a great deal if
everybody could have found out somehow that I am
tremendously rich ; they would be fit to hang themselves over the thing. But what is this? I say,
Didn’t I say that the gods would not neglect an upright man like Timon? Good day to you, Timon, first in good looks, first in good manners and first in good fellowship.
The same to you, Gnathonides, first of all vultures in voracity and first of all mankind in rascality.
You are always fond of your joke. But where
are we to dine? I have brought you a new song
from one of the plays
I assure you, it will be a very mournful dirge that
you will sing, with this pick of mine to prompt you.
If you will only linger one moment more, the summons will be for murder.
No, no! Do heal my wound, at least, by putting alittle gold on it. That is a wonderful specific for staunching blood.
What, are you still bent on staying ?
I am going; but you shall be sorry that you left off being a gentleman and became such a boor.
Who is this coming up, with the bald pate? Philiades, the most nauseous toady of them all. He received from me a whole farm and a dower of two talents for his daughter in payment for praising me once, when I had sung a song and everybody else kept still, but he lauded me to the skies, vowing on his word of honour that I was a better singer than a swan. Yet when he saw me ill the other day and I went up to him and begged for alms, the generous fellow bestowed a thrashing on me.
Oh, what effrontery! So you all recognize Timon
now? So Gnathonides is his friend and booncompanion now? Then he has had just what he
deserved for being so thankless. But we, who are
old acquaintances and schoolmates and neighbours,
No doubt, Philiades. But come here, so that I may give you a friendly greeting with my pick !
Help! The ingrate has broken my head because I gave him good advice.
Lo and behold! here comes a third, the orator
Demeas, holding a resolution in his hand and saying
that he is a relative of mine. That fellow paid the
city treasury sixteen talents within a single day,
getting his money from me, for he had been condemned to a fine and put in jail while it was unpaid.
And yet when it became his duty recently to
distribute the show-money to the Erechtheis tribe,
Good day, Timon, great benefactor of your kin, bulwark of Athens, shield of Greece! ‘The assembly and both the councils are in session and awaiting your pleasure this long time. But before you go, listen to the resolution that I drew up in your behalf. “Whereas Timon of Collytus, the son of Echecratides, a man who is not only upright but wise beyond any other in Greece, labours always in the best interests of the city, and has won the boxing match, the wrestling match, and the foot-race at Olympia in a single day, as well as the horse-races, both with the regular chariot and with the span of colts””— -
But I never was even a delegate
What of that? You will be, later. It is best to put in plenty of that sort of thing. — "and fought bravely for the city at Acharnae vee and cut to pieces two divisions of Spartans"—
What do you mean by that? I wasn’t even posted on the muster-roll because I had no arms.
You are modest in talking about yourself, but we
should be ungrateful if we failed to remember.
— “and furthermore has been of great service to
the city by drawing up resolutions and serving on
the council and acting as general ;
There you have the resolution. I wish I had brought my son to see you; I have called him Timon after you.
How can that be, Demeas, when you aren't even married, as far as I know?
No, but I am going to marry next year, Zeus willing, and havea child ; and I now name it Timon, for it will be a boy.
Perhaps you don’t care to marry now, sirrah, on getting such a clout from me.
Oh! Oh! What does this mean? Timon, you
are trying to make yourself tyrant and you are
beating free men when you yourself have not a clear
title to your freedom. You shall soon pay for this,
and for burning the Acropolis too.
But the Acropolis has not been burned, you scoundrel, so it is plain that you are a blackmailer.
Well, you got your money by breaking into the treasury.
That has not been broken into, so you can’t make good with that charge either. -
The breaking in will be done later, but you have all the contents now.
Well then, take that !
Oh, my back !
Don’t shriek or I will give you a third. It would be too ridiculous if I had cut up two divisions of Spartans unarmed and then couldn’t thrash a single filthy little creature like you. My victory at Olympia in boxing and wrestling would be all for nothing !
But what have we here? Isn’t this Thrasyc yeles ?
No other! With his beard spread out and his eyebrows uplifted, he marches along deep in haughty
meditation, his eyes glaring like a Titan’s and his
hair tossed back from his forehead, a typical Boreas
or Triton such as Zeuxis used to paint. Correct in
his demeanour, gentlemanly in his gait, and inconspicuous in his dress, in the morning hours he discourses forever about virtue, arraigns s the votaries of
pleasure and praises contentment with little; but
when he comes to dinner after his bath and the
He is the height
of gluttony and insatiability, and he gets so drunken
and riotous that he not only sings and dances, but
even abuses people and flies into a passion. Besides
he has much to say over his cup—more then than at
any other time, in fact!—about temperance and
decorum, and he says all this when he is already in a
bad way from taking his wine without water and
stammers ridiculously. Then a vomit follows, and at
last he is picked up and carried out of the diningroom, catching at the flute girl with both hands as he
goes. But even when sober, he won’t yield the
palm to anyone in lying and impudence and covetousness ; on the contrary, he is a peerless toady and
he perjures himself with the greatest facility ; humbug is his guide and shamelessness his follower, and
to sum it up, he is a wonderfully clever piece of
work, correct in every detail and perfect in a world
of ways. Therefore he shall soon smart for ;his
superiority. (To Thrasycles): Well, well! I say,
Thrasycles, you are late.
I have not come with the same intent as all this crowd, Timon. Dazzled by your riches, they have gathered at a run in the expectation of silver and gold and costly dinners, meaning to exercise unlimited flattery upon a man so simple and so free with his gear. You know, of course, that for me barley-cake is dinner enough, and the sweetest relish is thyme or cardamom, or if ever I were to indulge myself, a trifle of salt. My drink is the water of Nine-spouts, and this philosopher’s mantle suits me better than any purple robe. As for gold, I hold it in no higher worth than yonder pebbles on the shore. It was on your account that I came, in order that you might not be corrupted by wealth, that most iniquitous and insidious of possessions, which, many a time to many a man, has proved a source of irreparable misfortunes. If you take my advice, you will by all means throw the whole of it into the sea, for it is not at all essential to a virtuous man who can discern the riches of philosophy; but don’t throw it into the deep water, my dear fellow: just wade in as far as your waist and toss it a short distance outside the breakers, with none but me to see you.
However, if
you are unwilling to do this, then bundle it out of the
house quickly in another and a better way without
leaving as much as a copper for yourself by distributing it to all the needy, five drachmas to this
man, a mina to that one and half a talent to a third.
If a philosopher should apply he ought to get a
double or a triple portion. As for me, I do not ask
for it on my own account but to share with those of
my comrades who are needy, and it will be plenty if
Well said, Thrasycles! But instead of filling the wallet, please allow me to fill your head with lumps, measured out with my pick.
Democracy and the Laws! The scoundrel is beating me, in a free city !
What are you angry about, my dear fellow? Surely I haven’t given you short measure ? Come, Pll throw in four pecks over the amount !
But what have we here? They are gathering in swarms; I see Blepsias yonder, Laches, Guipho and the whole crew of my intended victims. Why not climb this rock, give my long-wearied pick a little rest and handle the situation without it, collecting all the stones I can and raining them down on those fellows from a distance ?
Don’t throw at us, Timon; we are going away.
But not without bloodshed and wounds, I promise
you!